Picayune Conversations

Lindsay and Calvin discuss the importance and usefulness of shame from the perspective of adaptation. Rather than being inherently "toxic," shame is an emotion that compels us to confront (potentially) problematic realities about ourselves that endanger our participation in the community. They also discuss how societies can do better by articulating what actually is disqualifying for belonging, so...

This episode features our friend and colleague Kelli Fowler, and we discuss the developmental and gender impacts of missed ADHD diagnoses, particularly in young people. Kelli is a Licensed Professional Counselor in South Carolina and works in Greenville County Schools as a therapist and supervisor. Contact us: https://forms.gle/SBzwCQEbnicNEzW39

Adolescence can feel like a painful season of distance between parents and children—but what if that distance is actually healthy? In this video, I talk about adolescence as a natural “pulling apart” that helps young people become themselves. While this separation can be uncomfortable, it doesn’t have to destroy closeness. When parents avoid unnecessary conflict and damage during this stage, the r...

Encouragement isn’t loud, and it doesn’t rush. In this episode, we explore why silence makes helpers anxious, how rescuing can interrupt courage as it’s forming, and what real encouragement looks like in therapy, parenting, and relationships. Sometimes the most encouraging thing you can do is not fill the space. Contact us: https://forms.gle/Y9hhTNEhzNx9sdwr6

Using stories, reflection, and a very down-to-earth psychology lens, Lindsay walks listeners through four core experiences we all need to feel okay in the world: feeling connected, capable, like we matter, and brave enough to keep moving. You don’t need a therapy background to follow this—just a willingness to get curious about yourself. This episode is for parents, therapists, students, helpers,...

In this conversation, we dig into the real challenges of parenting as Millennials—why it takes so much energy to break old patterns, self-regulate in the moment, and navigate overwhelming societal expectations. We explore the internal pressure to be exceptional parents, the exhaustion that follows, and the courage required to choose a healthier, more connected, more humane way of raising kids. Con...

In this conversation, we sit down with Sarah Mullis, an Adlerian counselor based in Wales, to explore why community feeling/social interest (Gemeinschaftsgefühl) is essential in the digital age. We discuss why social media’s basic architecture is fundamentally incapable of creating real belonging or mutual respect on its own — and what it actually takes to bring Social Interest into online spaces....

Highly therapized culture has made us vulnerable to a neurotic excuse in the form of avoiding listening to the content of what another person is saying if they are not doing an excellent job in how they are saying it. This episode explores how we can go about avoiding this excuse with courage to ensure that we don't create unreasonable barriers to repair and connection in our relationships. 👉 Con...

In this podcast, we talk about emotional health, self-awareness, and the danger of ignoring your real needs — what Calvin calls “Emotional Scurvy.” Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between what we want and what we need. When we ignore our deeper, slow-burning needs, we can end up quietly malnourished — giving ourselves quick fixes instead of real nourishment. Calvin explores how to recog...

In this episode, we dive into the psychological roots of fascism , defining it as the belief that "you're only in if others are out." This ideology, which thrives on discouragement and a myth of victimhood , fosters a dangerous desire for "purity" and isolation, leading to a counterfeit sense of community. We argue that the true antidote is "Gemeinschaftsgefühl," or social interest —a genuine "we-...

Many people think spoiling kids is all about giving them too much—but the real issue runs deeper. In this video, we explore how spoiling is less about overindulgence and more about a subtle, discouraging message: a vote of no confidence in a child's abilities. When we step in too much, solve every problem, or shield kids from struggle, we unintentionally send the message that they aren’t capable....

On this special holiday episode, Calvin interviews 9-year-old Truman and 7-year-old Ruby, who share their thoughts on gratitude, what adults get wrong, and how they are growing and improving in life. Questions? Commments? Contact us: https://forms.gle/Y9hhTNEhzNx9sdwr6

In this episode, Calvin & Lindsay discuss ways of understanding and conceptualizing addiction, with the help of friend/colleague Jim Holder. Addiction is discussed in terms of its purpose in helping people to solve problems (however maladaptive the solution may be!). Questions? Commments? Contact us: https://forms.gle/Y9hhTNEhzNx9sdwr6

What is the true meaning of shame? What is it's root cause? Why does shame feel so terrible? In this continuation of a series on emotions, Calvin & Lindsay discuss the adaptive value of shame, while also emphasizing basic mistakes that lead to unnecessary shame and maladaptive uses of the emotion. Questions? Commments? Contact us: https://forms.gle/Y9hhTNEhzNx9sdwr6

In this episode, Calvin explores a verse from the New Testament that warns against "casting pearls before swine." While not a theological exploration, the need for wise, watchful engagement with other people is a fundamentally necessary part of having positive relationships and avoiding unnecessary disappointment and pain. Questions? Commments? Contact us: https://forms.gle/Y9hhTNEhzNx9sdwr6

What is the definition of anxiety? How do you come out of anxiety? What is anxiety good for? In this episode, Calvin and Lindsay continue their series on emotions, based primarily on the work of Dr. Paul Rasmussen. This episode focuses on anxiety as the "vigilance emotion," which (though uncomfortable, and potentially problematic) helps human beings to manage many problems of life. Contact us: htt...

How do you explain sadness? What is sadness trying to tell you? What is the difference between sadness, grief, and depression? In this episode, Calvin and Lindsay discuss the emotion of sadness, its purpose, and how powerful it can be in helping people to flourish. Questions? Commments? Contact us: https://forms.gle/Y9hhTNEhzNx9sdwr6

Calvin and Lindsay interview Alyson Schafer about the virtues and potential missteps of Gentle Parenting, a growing trend among young parents in the United States and Canada. This longer-than-usual episode covers a broad range of topics, including: What is the gentle parenting approach? What is the argument for gentle parenting? What are the downsides of gentle parenting? How does "Parenting the A...

Lindsay and Calvin discuss the emotion of anger, it's purpose, and how it can be managed (not done away-with)! The insights of Dr. Paul Rasmussen, who trained both Calvin and Lindsay, loom large in the discussion. Contact us: https://forms.gle/Y9hhTNEhzNx9sdwr6

What is guilt? What is the true meaning of guilt? What is the root of guilt? Lindsay & Calvin discuss the purpose of the guilt emotion, how it can be helpful, and how it can hurt us. If you have any questions about this episode, let us know: https://forms.gle/SBzwCQEbnicNEzW39

Lindsay and Calvin discuss the (somewhat) awkward situation of seeing clients in public. For many counselors, this can be a nerve-wracking experience, filled with catastrophic fears of losing their license. This conversation should put some of these fears to rest, and also remind us all of the central importance of mutual respect and an ongoing informed consent process. If you have any questions a...

"I had a terrible childhood...am I screwed?" Lots of psychotherapies are quietly deterministic in how they understand the relationship between the past and the present. "X event happened, so therefore I am this way." While of course the past is important in shaping who we are, a telelogical, goal-oriented, future-focused way of understanding human behavior can be more encouraging, empowering, and...

People (us too!) often act as if "I feel ________, and therefore you/I must _________." We say things like "I yelled because I was angry," or "I am upset when you offer criticism, so you must not criticize me." This is problematic, because it assumes that feelings are demands. Feelings are not demands, they are just feelings! This episode will address: How do you feel your feelings without letting...

A good rule for mental health is "Don't make things worse!" One way in which we do this is by making uncharitable assumptions of malice about those who hurt us. This conversation explores a (goofy) metaphor that shows us how these assumptions unnecessarily worsen our experience of life, making us more frightened and isolated from others. Ask us anything, make suggestions, or just let us know you'r...

Get excited! Picayune Conversations is back for another season of chats about humankind, business, and culture. This preview will give you a quick look ahead so you know what will be the same, what will be different, and what (specifically) to expect. Thanks for listening! Ask us anything, make suggestions, or just let us know you're listening/watching! Contact us: https://forms.gle/Y9hhTNEhzNx9sd...