Love and Abuse

Simple incompatibilities are common in relationships, but what happens when they lead to emotionally abusive behavior? In this episode, I talk about the potential for hurtful and controlling behavior from someone who may not be able to accept your incompatibilities. They don't want you to be you, they want you to be an extension of them. Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workb...

Every now and then someone you care about makes a mistake and says or does something to make you feel bad. These one-offs are forgivable. They could be having a bad day or perhaps they just had a lot of pent up energy they needed to release and you were just an unlucky target. But what about when bad behaviors are repeated over and over again? You could be looking at an emotionally abusive relatio...

What happens when you create a show about abusive behavior? You hear from people that aren't happy that they are being called out on that behavior. On today's episode, I read a letter from someone that thinks I'm dangerous and should find other things to do with my time. This is a special episode for both the abuser and the victim. For more episodes, visit https://loveandabuse.com

When the toxic relationship has worn you down and taken away your ability to even think clearly, let alone chiseled away at any confidence and mental strength you had left, it's time to pivot your trajectory to rebuild yourself and make healthy decisions. Visit loveandabuse.com for more episodes

We can spend so much time hoping the other person will change so that our life will be better, but we end up missing out on a lot of time that could be spent doing what we need to do for ourselves. In this episode, I talk about the elements that make up the emotionally abusive relationship and how knowing both sides, the victim and the abuser, can be helpful to determine the path you need to take...

There is a direct cause and effect when you are exposed to manipulative and controlling behavior. It can take a physical toll on you and cause you to believe things about yourself that simply aren't true. In this episode, I read a message from someone who got out of a twenty-year emotionally abusive marriage to discover his health and well-being suddenly increase. Visit https://loveandabuse.com/ f...

If someone hurt you, abused you, or wronged you in some way and you're still holding on to upset or anger toward them, how can you let it go and heal? There are some people in the world that we don't want to forgive, but we also don't want to hold on to anger or pain because of what they did. That is the topic of today's episode. Visit https://loveandabuse.com/ for more episodes and The M.E.A.N. W...

Sometimes emotional abuse in adult relationships is the result of childhood trauma, neglect or abuse. Sometimes it's the result of the other person being abusive toward you so in order to get your needs met, you might have to become controlling and manipulative yourself. No matter how it happens, this episodes is about how to learn about and stop the behavior. Love and Abuse is the official podcas...

Do boundaries work with emotional abusers? I received this question from someone who has tried almost everything to work with her emotionally abusive partner but is running out of options. In this episodes, I analyze the behavior she points out in the email she sent me, and also discuss why therapy sometimes doesn't work with manipulative people (and how to do therapy that does work). Love and abu...

Sometimes you just can't figure out if perhaps what you're experiencing is abusive or manipulative behavior. You may even think perhaps you're overreacting or seeing things wrong. In this episode, I analyze an email I received and pick out the specific behaviors that I would call emotional abuse. Love and abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook at loveandabuse.com

Why does it always seem like you have to constantly explain or defend yourself with certain people? Are you just not coming through clearly? Do they have trouble understanding? Or is there really something a deceptive going on to keep you under control? Learn the Turn-Around game and how it keeps you from ever gaining ground with controlling and manipulative people.

When the trust breaks and there is no love left in the relationship, but the emotional abuse stops, is there a chance for it to heal and can the trust be re-earned? I read an email from someone who has healed from being the abusive one and wants my thoughts if the marriage will survive or if it's too late. Love and abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook at loveandabuse.com

If you've never gotten triggered by someone's post on social media, you may be one of the lucky few. It's those times you can't help but give your opinion to someone you know is wrong or completely ignorant. What can happen nowadays, especially in a heated political climate, is friends are lost, hearts are broken, and stress and upset reign supreme. In this episode, I compare the Facebook conversa...

Why don't hurtful people stop hurting? Can the emotional abuser or controlling / manipulative person change? Can your relationship with them be saved? It's an important question I get all too often. Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook on manipulation and emotional abuse.

Manipulation originates with the desire to have something and doing anything you can to get it. I explore that topic in today's episode. Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook on emotional abuse at loveandabuse.com

There's something that family, coworkers, friends, and even romantic partners can all have a common: They can sometimes be difficult to talk to. Some have opposing beliefs and values. Others simply want to control you and be right no matter what. Whatever the case is for you, this episode talks about some ins and outs of dealing with challenging people.

Emotional abuse and controlling, manipulative behavior have no place in a relationship. Whether it's romantic or with a family member or friend, the toxicity of hurtful behavior simply destroys what could be good relationships. There's much insecurity in the emotional abuser, and in this episode I talk about that a lot of other components of emotional abuse. Love and abuse is the official podcast...

Should you love more, do more, be more for another person that never seems to be happy? One method of control is to make sure you're always trying harder to please but never pleasing. When someone keeps you in that state of mind, you start to lose your mind and your power. Love and abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook at loveandabuse.com

Some people have a clever way of making you feel bad about yourself by complimenting you and using positive, supportive words that make it seem like they really care. However, the dark underbelly of their comments may contain the seed of guilt and shame. If you want to know more about this unique phenomenon, listen to this episode. Love and abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook at...

If you've ever wondered why you felt a connection with someone that turned out to be controlling and manipulative, you were probably manipulated from day one. And it's possible that person didn't even know they were doing it. In this special episode, I talk about how Robert Cialdini's six principles of influence can apply to the emotionally abusive relationship. Love and abuse is the official podc...

When you hurt someone you love, you let them know that they are not that important in your life. If you believe you are the emotionally abusive one and you want to heal and evolve from that behavior, this episode is a good start. In a relationship, control is the opposite of love. The more you control, the more love you lose. Love and abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook at lovea...

When someone shows you every single red flag you need to determine there is lying, control, and manipulation going on, at what point do you tell yourself you're not going to take it anymore? In today's episode, I read an email from someone who went through an emotionally abusive relationship. As I read it, I break down each and every bad behavior so that you know how to identify it in your life. L...

After months or years of being emotionally abused, you may find yourself doing behavior that resembles the same type of behavior you're a victim to. If that's the case, you can end up thinking you are also abusive, and may start believing that you perhaps you are just as bad as them, or worse.   Love and abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook at loveandabuse.com

The smear campaign is a card often played by narcissists, sociopaths, and other emotional abusers to make you look like the bad guy. If you're hurt and miserable, they are happy. When you're defensive and upset, they use that against you by telling everyone just how irrational you are. Handle this the wrong way, and you'll walk away defeated and unsupported by almost everyone that believes the lie...

A suicide threat is the ultimate way to control an empathetic, caring person. When you're in a relationship with someone that threatens to kill themselves if you leave, you need to follow very specific steps so that 1. You aren't stuck in that relationship forever, and 2. If they're truly serious about taking their own life, you figure out a way to help them not follow through with it.