Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

So, if you were to ask me to overly generalise and boil down the types of experiences that guests on this show have had when first accessing a queer space I'd say they neatly fit in to two categories: 1) there are those who feel instantly at home and like they've arrived. 2) there are those who feel like an outsider, or a 'tourist' in the space. Sometimes that feeling of being an o...

We seem to have, in the last few months, had a lot of religious guests, and through that we've had a lot of conversations about how religiosity can be in direct conflict with queerness, and all the issues that that can create. But what we haven't really talked about are the similarities between religion and queerness. And, to be fair, there probably aren't that many, but what stuck out for me in t...

Can you really call yourself queer if you don't have a weird love/hate relationship with your home town? Because even if you love the place that you're from and you had an idyllic childhood there's still that reckoning that you need to have with all of those feelings of isolation and anticipation judgement and scorn when you came to terms with your identity... and, sometimes even exper...

How much of yourself do you bring to the spaces that you spend time in? How much of the different sides of yourself do you bring out when you are at work? At dinner with friends? Spending time with your family? Hanging out at the club? Do you dial back your queerness, do you push down your beliefs or censor your thoughts? Or, are you one of those people who is just 100% themselves no matter where...

There's one question that gets asked in this week's episode that’s really stuck with me and that I continued to ponder even after we'd said our goodbyes and turned our microphones off... And that question is: how do you know when you have become the person that you’re supposed to be? By that I mean - at what point do you say 'yes this is the person I was supposed to be' rather...

Have you ever shown up at the tail-end of a really exciting party just as everything was ending, and you get that overwhelming feeling of having had missed out on something big? Well, that's kinda what happened to illustrator and cartoonist Eric Kostiuk Williams. He had moved to Toronto in 2008, and took a few years to discover the corner of the scene that felt right for him - in his word , th...

So, it's well documented on this show that queer spaces are good for many things - they're for dancing, socialising, drinking, falling down, getting back up, losing yourself, finding yourself in the arms of some strange men at 2am in the morning... BUT, they are also for organising and activism, and I think that's something we don't talk about enough on this show. That's all ab...

I know there's always the risk with this show of completely romanticising queer spaces as these glistening oasis' of tolerance and acceptance. But, that's really not the case - despite how wonderful and freeing they can be, they can also be a bit shitty and exclusionary. And I was reminded of that this week when I sat down to talk to talk to Andrew Gurza, who is a disability awareness...

I have a fairly straightforward relationship with religion in that... well, I don't have one. I wasn't brought up religious, I've never dabbled in religiousity, and it's never seemed to be something that particularly drew me in. Where it's a bit more fuzzy for me is when talking about the intersection between queerness and religiousness. It'll come as no surprise to you whe...

We talk in this episode a little about Lamya's new memoir, Hijab Butch Blues. If you're interested in snagging yourself a copy why not take a look at my Bookshop store? https://uk.bookshop.org/a/13642/9781785788499 Books! Is there anything more inviting and accepting than a good book - one that seems to know you better than you know yourself? Books were my best friend when I was growing up...

It's time to put on your skinny jeans, dig out your studded belt, and apply about a week's worth of black eyeliner, because this week.... we're going emo! Now, if you’re listening to this episode 300 years from now and you’re like ‘what the heck is emo’ let me break it down for you... According to dictionary.com emo is 'a style of rock music resembling punk but having more complex...

So it's fairly well established that I think queer spaces are really significant and an important way to explore your identity and dip your big toe into the queer lake of fabulosity. But, what we don't talk a lot about on this show is the importance of queer performance spaces, where people who are just starting out - singers, comedians, jugglers - have the chance to perform in front of an...

Now, you might want to sit down or take a deep breath before you read this episode description, but.... it's possible that I've managed to find someone wracked with more self-doubt than me! Now, i hope you haven’t spit out your coffee or come over all faint, but I can confirm it is absolutely true. And who is that person? Well, it’s host of The Winning Side podcast Jord Hailwood, who joine...

On this week's show I'm starting to question whether I should be getting in to the world of kink or not. And, who is enticing me over to the kinky side? Why, it's podcaster and well-known kinkster Auntie Vice, who tells me all about what drew her to the world of kink, as well as what was so special about her lost space, Wicked Grounds in San Francisco, USA.  Find out more about Auntie...

More new podcast recommendations this week! This week I'm sharing an episode of The Queer Family Podcast, a show all about queer families. Every episode is a chat between host Jaimie and different guests who have been through the process of starting their own family, and I've learnt so much from listening about how varied everyone's journey is. This particular episode is a chat with Ri...

Ahoy! I'm taking a few weeks off over the festive period to recharge (and eat too many mince pies). But, rather than leaving you languishing out there in podcast land without any fresh content I thought I would share some of my favourite episodes from past guests' own podcasts. And, the first show that I'm sharing is..... This Queer Book Saved My Life! This show is hosted by JP Der Bog...

Sometimes on this show we talk about spaces that my guest went to religiously, and they have stories from years of partying and socialising. And sometimes, like with this episode, we go to spaces that my guest only went to once. Despite that, it was still hugely influential to them. And, so, although we don't know the name of this week's bar, or exactly what town it was in, we DO know that...

What do you do when Malcolm McLaren, that hugely influential promoter and manager for punk rock bands like Sex Pistols, Adam and the Ants, and Bow Wow Wow, tells you that he thinks you should move to New York City? Well, you pack your bags and get moving! That’s exactly what this week’s guest did, packing his bags and moving with his best friend Lauren after the two got talking to Mr McLaren at a...

What do you do when you're a drag queen who wants to get more gigs? Well, that's simple - you create you own night! Easy, right? But we're not talking about just any old drag queen. We are talking about someone who, dare I say, loves a checklist almost as much as I do (I know, can you believe it?). Zelda Moon is the co-host of the Death to Everyone podcast (and we've already met he...

Who doesn't love a bit of competition? I'm rarely happier than when there are dreams to crush, plans to thwart and hearts to break. But, enough about me. Instead, let's talk about this week's guest, Australian drag queen and co-host of the Death to Everyone podcast, Lazy Susan, who found herself getting a bit competitive herself taking part in a drag competition at the Melbourne drag bar The Greyh...

So, if you are a long time listener of this show you will probably know that I am on a bit of a quest to stamp out the use of the word 'normal', because it find it is just a really unhelpful descriptor, and it's so subjective - like, what's normal for me may not be normal for you. Anyway, I say all of this because I need to formally apologise to this week's guest for telling hi...

Picture it. It's an evening sometime in 2012. You've met up with a guy from one of the apps (Grindr or Scruff or something). He takes you to dinner, and then he takes you to a bar, and then in that bar you have your very first kiss. How does that feel? Well, we're going to find out from writer/director/filmmaker Corey Sherman, who got a little smoochy at lost LA space Faultline. And, t...

Sometimes being in a new location, surrounded by strangers and new-ness, is just the thing that you need to give you the bravery to embrace new things... And, that's exactly what happened for singer/songwriter Mya Byrne, who moved to San Francisco in 2015 to give herself a change of scenery. Along the way threw herself head first in to exciting new things (which we'll find out more about i...

I recognise that it's a total romanticisation, but I have a really soft spot for small-town gay bars. I love that they are inclusive (even if it is by necessity rather than design) and I love what they represent - a safe haven nestled in to a place that may not feel all that safe otherwise... This week we're headed to the lost small town gay bar Rumours, which was found in upstate New York...

If you've ever wondered what 90s New York City was like, then today's episode is the one for you. Before mass gentrification, before eye-watering rent hikes, and before all the personality was stamped out of it, queer night clubbing in the Big Apple was anarchic, unhinged, and magical. And the person that told me this is this week's guest, Sherry Vine - drag superstar, singer-songwrite...