Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

So, if we were to say that clubbing is a religion, then the club is the place of worship, the music is the hymn, and the DJ takes on the role of the Priest. But what about the go-go dancer? Where do they fit into this clunky, overused metaphor? Well, according to former go-go dancer, and current author and porn actor, Manuel Skye, the role of the go-go dancer is more than just eye candy—they’re th...

I think that I might have met my match. For the last few years I've been feeling as though I'm the person who talks the most about lost queer spaces, but journalist David Kennerley might actually be ahead of me. He loves queer nightlife so much that he's gone and written a whole book about the long-lost gay scene of '90s New York City. The book, Getting In: NYC Club Flyers from the...

This week it's time to talk about love... Now, I know what you're thinking. Who am I to talk about love when all I seem to be interested in are firey, passionate, fleeting moments on a dancefloor? Well, yeah, you've probably got a point there.... So, it's a good job that this is a conversation podcast and I have a guest to show me the way! And who is that guest? Why it is the autho...

We get assigned a lot of roles in life depending on how we look, how tall we are, which family we're born in to... Sometimes living up to these roles can be a total breeze, but other times can be an incredibly daunting, terrifying task, and overcoming these isn't in any way straightforward. And so it's always really affirming when I get the chance to sit down and talk to someone who is...

What do you do if you think the scene isn't a welcoming place for you? If you don't feel particularly excited to be in spaces that are pumping out Top 40 chart hits and offering jell-o shots for £1 a go? Well, you roll your sleeves up and you make your own night. And that's precisely what this week's guest did (with the help of some friends, of course). Before they were a 'self...

I sometimes rail against this notion of 'chosen family', and I always assumed that the reason I did this was because somewhere in the back of my head I was just jealous of other people who happened to find that and make that happen for themselves because that's not been my experience. But, I had a bit of a moment of realisation in this week's conversation. I think the reason that t...

We’re going to get really cheesy this week... You probably already know that I love me some cheesy, poetic imagery. And this week I may have stumbled upon the cheesiest thing that you ever did hear. Now, we've talked about the importance of the dancefloor in finding community and being oneself, but we haven't ever spoken to someone who attributes the dancefloor as THE place where the queer...

So, I will readily admit that I was a bit naive when it came to the world of leather pageantry. Obviously I knew that these leather competitions existed, and that they were loosely modelled on beauty pageants, but I kind of assumed that they weren't all that serious. I just thought that people showed up, had a bit of a laugh, took a few pictures and then went home. But, I was wrong. And, I qui...

The lyric to that very famous 80s TV theme song is 'sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name'. Whilst I think that's true I also think there are times where you want to go where nobody knows your name and where there's absolutely no risk of running in to anybody that you even vaguely know. It's that type of space that gave this week's guest - scholar, therap...

Are you one of those people that has a crystal clear memory of where they were and how they reacted when they found out about momentous moments in history? For instance, do you remember where you were on September 11? When you first heard of the Covid-19 outbreak? Most importantly, do you remember the first time you heard Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ being played in the club? Well, if that final mome...

I was gutted, understandably, when I found out earlier this year that my favourite queer bar, The Glory, was going to close. But I also had a bunch of questions, as it wasn't closing for the same reason that so many others do (£££). In fact, the owners opened a brand new venue, The Divine, within days of The Glory closing its door. So I needed to find out more... Luckily, I got to sit down wit...

If you were trying to seduce someone in the audience when you were performing at a piano bar or at karaoke... what song would you sing? I imagine you'd go for something slinky and sexy, right? Or maybe something bombastic and exuding confidence? Well, not, it turns out, if you are this week's guest, the singer and story teller Richard Skipper, who went a decidedly different route... But, I...

One of the things that I get asked a lot when people find out that I do this show is 'well, why are queer spaces important? bars and clubs close all the time, why should we care about them just because they're queer?'. And there are lots of answers to that, but the one that I keep coming back to is that they aren't just businesses - they're community hubs, they're late-nigh...

It's time to talk all about the fine art of ho-ing. And who is going to guide us through this very important lesson? Why, it's Mehgan Sapphire, host of the Sapphire's Earplay podcast. Mehgan joined me to talk about her lost space, The Lexington, a San Franciscan lesbian bar that she went to when she was just a little baby gay in her college days. Along the way we discuss late night hoo...

San Francisco in the 80s. If you know anything about queer history then you may already know that that wasn't the most joyous of times. And, yet, despite that... despite all that was happening in the world - heightened homophobia, and the really real fear of contracting HIV - people got on with their lives and they found and made joy. And that is exactly what happened for promoter and party pr...

One of the constant gifts of doing this show is the reminder of how privileged those of us who get to grow old are.  It’s easy to forget this in a world saturated with messages glorifying youth, but youth isn't always that great (sure, I still have crippling social anxiety, but I'm MUCH better at masking it now!).  So, getting the chance to talk to people who say, "I'm so glad I'm not the person I...

I don't know about you, but I really like the idea of being referred to as a gay elder at some point in the future. The only part about it that worries me is that I hope I'm not expected to suddenly be wise or level-headed or clever or anything... And though this week's guest, Eric Marcus from the Making Gay History podcast, might not like being referred to as a gay elder, he's certainly got the c...

I think what's so magical about a place like London is the promise of what the city represents rather than what it can actually meaningfully offer people... And, that might sound like a strange distinction, but for me London was always the place that I was going to run away to in order to become the person that I was meant to be. And it was here that I was going to live out my dreams and have ever...

I love the kind of people that can go through a whole bunch of bullying, a whole bunch of othering, a whole bunch of shit in their life and still come out the other end and be like 'this is who I am, take it or leave it, I'm not changing for anyone'... And those are exactly the vibes that this week's guest, singer/songwriter Van Hechter, was putting down when we got together to tal...

One of my favourite things about queer people is that they make shit happen.  Ok, ok, so that's a massive generalisation. And here's another one...   Straight people (apologies to any that are reading this) are not forced to put themselves out there and meet people and make new connections in the same way that queer people are. So they don't have to go through all the effort of pluckin...

So, this week we’re doing something a little different. Rather than visit a lost space we’re setting out to answer the question ‘is the ancient art of cruising about to be lost?’. I know that's a fairly dramatic question, but there are a number of factors - like hook up apps and the over-gentrification of our cities - that seem to threaten these little discreet woodlands or private beaches fro...

LA. Los Angeles. City of Angels. It's not really known to be the easiest of towns to live in. But, i think that's part of what makes it so exciting, right? Not to completely plagiarise a popular song, but if you can make it there then... you know the rest... And this is what brought Karl Dunn, who has just released his first book How To Burn A Rainbow: My Gay Marriage Didn't Make Me Wh...

So, if you're reading these show notes I'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that you know about the Pulse nightclub shooting that happened in Orlando in 2016. And I'm also going to assume that you've heard some of the stories from survivors and families of victims about the impact of that night. But, now that we're a few years on and people's attention has moved el...

I've been thinking a lot lately about how your life can just happen to you. And, if you're not careful you can wake up one day wondering how you ended up there. But then, there are times when we take the bull by the horns and throw caution to the wind (and all the other cliches that you can think of), even if we know we might fail. Anyway, I had a wonderful reminder of that strength and co...

I love hearing people's stories of places that are close to their hearts - places where they spent tonnes of time, met lots of wonderful people, and figured out things about themselves. But, you know what else I love? When people want to talk about places that they HATED! And hate is maybe too strong a word for this week's guest's experience, but I still enjoyed hearing about how the s...