Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

Have you ever heard of the concept of a “gay age” ? If not, here's the gist: the idea goes that we each have a gay age , which starts from the moment we come out. So, that means if I came out yesterday, I’d be zero. If you came out a decade ago you’re ten years old in gay years. It’s a really fascinating concept, but the more I sit with it, the more I find it to be a little problematic. But I...

Sometimes when you live in a small close-knit community there is nowhere to hide. No where to disappear to. It can feel like you're always on guard, always wearing the false smile and maintaining the pretence for everyone else around you. So, what would happen if you found somewhere that you knew no one else was going to be? Somewhere that you could totally relax, and just be yourself for an h...

We talk a lot about — and when I say 'we,' I mean the wider queer community — how upsetting it is that queer bars and clubs are closing at an accelerated rate. But I think the bigger tragedy is the disappearance of queer cafés. And maybe it’s wrong to pit them against each other, but queer cafés offer that beautiful intermediate step. They’re not as full-on or intimidating as a bar or a cl...

I've always struggled with the word community, because it's something that I've desperately wanted - I've wanted to belong, and I've wanted to feel a part of something bigger than myself. But, at the same time, how do you measure those things? How do you know that you belong? What does that feel like, and how do you measure it? And, I think someone who has had a similar experie...

There's a reason that the theme song to the Golden Girls hits so hard for me. And, I think it's because I've always valued friendships over all other types of relationships. There’s just something magical about having that person who eggs you on, pushes you out of your comfort zone, and encourages you to be bolder than you ever thought possible. So, I loved hearing about Norwegian drag...

So, usually we talk about a bar or a club or a coffee shop… or some kind of building, at least. But this week we're doing something a little bit different. We're talking about a set of steps. Yes, you heard that correctly. But, these weren’t just any set of steps. They were the legendary, and imaginatively titled, Steps that were found in Toronto's gay village. And to tell us all about...

Coming out can be both thrilling and exhilarating… but also kind of dangerous. There’s something about that first rush of freedom that makes you feel invincible—like you can throw yourself into any and every experience, consequences be damned. Which brings us to this week’s guest—Brad Shreve. Now, you might already know Brad as an author and the host of multiple podcasts, including Going Hollywood...

Ugh, I can't believe that it's been almost five whole years since the Covid-19 pandemic came along and turned all of our lives upside down. Five. whole. years. Doesn't that make you feel old? I still don’t know if the pandemic changed my life for better or worse, but for this week’s guest, it was the unexpected catalyst that kick-started their drag career. This week, I’m joined by bear...

This week's episode could very well be titled 'The Many Lovers of Frank Akinsete', because we somehow manage to cover off about half a dozen love affairs during our conversation! And if you’re a longtime listener of Lost Spaces you already know that we love a good detour here. Honestly, I think those are the best episodes, where we get to truly know a person and trace their many, many...

So, Mormonism doesn't have the best reputation on this show. And honestly, given their policies toward queer people, that's not exactly surprising. But, there are some people working within the religion trying to make it more inclusive and open-minded. One of these groups is Understanding Sexuality, Gender, and Allyship - or USGA - a support group that gave queer students at Brigham Young...

So, we're over 250 episodes in to this show, and on some days when I'm feeling particularly cocky I'm like 'oh, yeah, I think I've learnt everything there is to know about being queer', and then on other days I'm like 'actually, I know nothing about the human spirit and the resilience of queerness despite the odds.' (Ok, that was a little dramatic, but I think y...

So if I were to tell you that this week's guest had just published a new book titled ' Disco: Music, Movies, and Mania Under the Mirror Ball '* you'd be expecting some spectacular stories of glamour and debauchery, right? Well, I'm pleased to say that author Frank DeCaro did not disappoint! We caught up to chat about the lost legendary Chicago space Dugan’s Bistro, a gay discot...

Sign up for the Queer Word Newsletter⁠⁠⁠ We are back to our regular programming next week! But, for our final pod-swap I am sharing the conversation I had with Tim Lagman (registered sexologist, don't you know!) on his show Sex Ed With Tim . Tim was also a guest on Lost Spaces all the way back in 2021, and that conversation can be found ⁠⁠⁠ here⁠⁠⁠ Can't wait to get back to regular Lost Sp...

Sign up for the Queer Word Newsletter⁠⁠ This week we have ⁠Dennis Anyone⁠ , hosted by Dennis Hensley, as our special podcast-swap episode! Dennis was also a guest on Lost Spaces all the way back in 2022, and that conversation is can be found ⁠⁠ here⁠⁠ Follow me Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod Facebook:  ⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod Sup...

Sign up for the Queer Word Newsletter⁠ Share your 2025 plans/resolutions with me: k@lostspacespodcast.com Over the holidays I'm going to share episodes from other podcasts that I've guested on throughout 2024, talking about lost spaces, queerness, and the weirdness of life. This week we have The Queer Family Podcast , hosted by Jaimie Kelton! Jaimie was also a guest on Lost Spaces, and tha...

Sign up for the Queer Word Newsletter Over the holidays I'm going to share episodes from other podcasts that I've guested on throughout 2024, talking about lost spaces, queerness, and the weirdness of life. First up we have Gender Identity Weekly , hosted by Amethysta Herrick. Amethysta was also a guest on Lost Spaces this year. If you want to go and listen to that conversation is can be f...

Lately I keep thinking about that phrase "the past is a foreign country", and how sometimes a space doesn’t have to disappear to feel lost to us. And I know that sounds like a bit of mumbo jumbo, but stay with me! Queer spaces are always evolving and changing, and if we don't evolve and change with them, or if we're not there at the time they are evolving, then we risk being left...

I've been getting increasingly sappy with you recently, and I'm not sure whether that's because I'm just getting softer in my older years, or if there's just an accumulation of gratitude that's bubbling to the surface, but... well, either way, just giving you the heads up that this intro is a bit sappy! So, what am I sappy about? Well, I just love the network of stories tha...

Sometimes when I'm putting this show together I like to imagine that someone has somehow found this show in 50 years time and are having a good ol' giggle at how quaint and ol'timey the things we are talking about are. And if you are one of these people from the future it's probably worth me telling you about a little thing called the Covid-19 pandemic. This was (hopefully) a once-...

Although I can appreciate a lot of the things about getting older I wouldn't say that I'm totally super enthusiastic about it (especially the creaking joints!). So, it was kind of nice to talk to singer/songwriter D'orjay and get a different perspective on getting on in years. And, in fact, everything about this week conversation is just lovely. It's one of those looking-back-at-te...

Not many people can say they owe their entire career to their local gay bar, but for comedian Sam See, that’s exactly the case! His first brush with comedy happened while prepping for a talent show at Play Club in Singapore. Performing in front of a queer audience gave him the spark to pursue comedy full-time. We dug into what it was like growing up queer in Singapore, how his queerness shapes his...

I would never wish the years of uncertainty, overthinking, and isolation on anyone navigating their queerness. But, there's something magical about the person who comes out at the other end of all that. And one of the best parts of Lost Spaces is getting to speak with people who have reached that place of self-assuredness, and who are so confident in who they are and the path they’re meant to...

I've just realised that, for a podcast that is for mostly about queer clubbing and nightlife, we don't actually talk all that much about drugs, drug-taking and the impact of that. That's not a good or a bad thing, per se. It's just a little odd. Which isn't to say that that is a huge part of this week's chat, but it struck me because, for this week’s guest, drugs were a key...

When I first moved to London I had this friend who I would go to bars and clubs with. And, he was totally, 100% a friend of convenience. In fact, the only reason we spent any time together is because neither of us had any other friends. But I always look back on that friendship with a great deal of affection — and I think that one of the gifts of being queer is that you end up making friends with...

You may have had some wild clubbing nights in your life, but were any ever as wild as obliviously walking around with a shit-stained t-shirt thinking that you were fabulous? No, probably not. But, that's exactly what this week's guest, Santana Sexmachine, managed to get up to in her lost space, Berlin's Greece-muller. (i hope I said that correctly. Sorry if you are German and I just sl...