Live IFS

🔸 Self directed play. 2️⃣ Inadequate vs pick yourself up 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: First call is post-news of Derek Scott’s death. And I'm on day 2 of an epic argument with someone close to me. But IFS makes me feel better. After the first session, Mio emailed to say she needs more frequent sessions and made arrangements with a therapist. The calls were recorded a few months apa...

🔸 Sold. Down the dark hall, the door I haven’t tried… 🔹 Parts: P trying not to be needy, you’re the most needy P now you’ll have to confess, pay for all of your sins E feels not worthy, sold over and over again. "prostitute, if she gave enough of herself.” Been told what to do, how to act, what not to say. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Been reviewing Dick Schwartz calls again! 1....

🔸Boulder of suffering. I don't have instructions for this. 2️⃣ Helpless Bob, and a part that needed me to be fine. 📌 Christine followed up (re #1): you had asked what selfs answer might be to this parts repeated question of “what do i do with the Boulder? All this pain and suffering, wtf do i do?” Self had responded “IFS” as a possible answer.  As I sat more in that response; It felt like it...

🔸 What does a powerful doer do when the system is a safer place to be? 🔹 Parts: P: the imposter, puffed out chest, chameleon. This chronic feeling that I wasn’t living my real life, hyper vigilant of others, do whatever needed to keep mother happy. works in tandem with: P: Sally, top manager. Achievement oriented . “Sally won’t allow the little one to touch her” E: the little one under the bed -...

🔸 Step 2: "Feel towards" 🔹 Parts: P: “The manager is cognitive, trying to explain the feelings, not allowing me to connect” trying to fix others is how to show love. How is that done to myself? A lot of screaming, not a lot of learning. Very static childhood. Wants to achieve stature, power. P: 12 year old “Im not like you anymore, I don’t throw tantrums” E: keeps going back to that pl...

🔸 Grief overshadowing. Another death. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: Itunes YouTube How to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Barreling through v Getting it right 🔹 Parts: Overwhelm, time scarcity Bulldozing, barreling through Getting it right, not starting, not putting on paper 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Tech problems destroy my focus because I don't know what causes it. If it's on my end, super frustrating, I've put so much time and energy into making it work right, and now here I am, unabl...

🔸 Christine's first time ever recording her practitionering! *Recorded after some Christine-as-client calls that are still waiting to be published 📌 James followed up (the next day): Woke up at 5, went through the points we agreed on, back to sleep : ) And after a week, still significantly better. 🎓 What Christine would like to do differently: Still finding my rhythm and pace with guiding o...

🔸 Daughter: she has to show love to herself. 🔹 Parts: P: daughter manages everything and wants to get some self for herself. She thinks they’re her parts. Worried she is selfish, not comfy saying “I love myself” so she can’t love other parts unconditionally. “Good enough by self standards but not by my own”. Or else: P: body part continues squirming E: suffocating, drowning, what if I get trappe...

🔸 Camouflaged, a ripple in negative space. 🔹 Parts: P: smooth it out, neutral, wants to stop me knowing too much. It likes “weird laugh” as camouflage. Other parts don’t know about it, doesn’t want to be seen by other parts. Angry after noticing loneliness P: be efficient, make progress E: little angry me, fighting siblings, awful to little sister 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Hard to...

🔸 People quietly walking away. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: One of those days, racing home, have just a minute to catch my breath before getting on a call. But having the convo was just what my parts & I needed. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or c...

🔸 A keyhole. Easy is scary. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: A lot of this felt familiar, I believe we had already done some witnessing here, so I wanted to see if we could take some shortcuts ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: Itunes YouTube...

🔸 Sit down, shut up, hold on! 2️⃣Pod boppins. We’re allowed to have concerns? 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Must remember to stretch before calls w Clare! We haven't done IFS in ~6 months, so when "This way, not that way" parts show up, I don’t feel like I have much room to challenge them. But I do wonder “how much of this part's role is diversionary?” Is the future/gi...

🔸 Step 1: Who’s here? 🔹 Parts: P: Sleepy v judgemental P: Frustrated, an intensity “the universe is coming down on me” P: Holding it together. "I don’t want to be emoting during those challenging time" 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I could be wrong! I had parts on edge, this being a first time caller, parts saying “jump in now! No now!” Others saying I should just observe for...

🔸 Teenage angst, impossible heaviness. She didn't think I'd get this far. 2️⃣ Rageful truth of the body. These social games feel like shit. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: 1️⃣ Low energy today, but it felt right to hit the gas. We don’t meet often, it’s been maybe 2.5 months, and nothing else booked, so that’s another reason I go faster, especially when spacey was getting involved...

🔸 A block around remembering my dreams 🔹 Parts: 4yo is afraid to go to sleep. And confused about why others brush it off. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: My non-responses weren’t always cuz I thought that would be ideal, just not at full power, long day. I could have called attention to the mom-defender, maybe I just didn't have the language, or thought it might pull us off track. --...

🔸 Gambling; the game of life. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: It's been about a year since we talked, and the only intention we set was to chat, not do IFS. So I took this call while walking, and didn't prep much. Presenting with what he called his most significant trauma, at beginning of call I was wanting to offer detours, not make the mistake of going too fast. But I'm not...

🔸 We don’t live there anymore 2️⃣ Left out of the family picture 🔹 Parts: P: get it perfect or you’ll disappear. tired, wishes someone else was In charge. Works so hard for chance to rest. P: it’s too dangerous to look inside: “Are you crazy? He’ll kill us all”, story has been told, not felt. wants death certificates E: waiting to be seen, in so much pain P: healing is a battle 2️⃣ P: the judge....

🔸 Collapse. There’s a lot riding on this. 🔹 Parts: Rage: you never want to work w me Urgency has to be there because motivation and drive are not. Collapse is overwhelm + distraction (the 2) Grief from how time was spent in 20s. Lost, unhappy, alone. Wanted somebody to get her. 21 year old by the river. Wants me to write. The one who wants to hide from responsibility, career 🎓 What I'd like...

🔸 “I have to be good at this” 2️⃣ Triangles and check-in tips 🔹 Parts: P “The rehearser” narrates everything. P Jittery, won’t let me go deep, everything gets suspended. And *you’re not gonna follow through*. Don’t even start. P “on the spot” Anxious about it being there. P Agenda, figure it out. How will I know? P Frustrated about “don’t even start” P “I have to be good at this” protecting: E v...

🔸 My dad was a good gardener… 🔹 Parts: P: Shit, might have to go somewhere I've been avoiding  P: Until you do this, you’re just pissing around the edges P: “He wasn’t doing anything to me”. I was the problem.  P: Self-like part thinks I'm under 10. Needs the proof E: Shock and hugeness. Frustration. Not being understood, heard, seen. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I’m doing too...

🔸 The cost of youthfulness; making sense of “You’re ugly” 2️⃣ The precious house, where the little girl was almost strangled to death. 🔹 Parts: P Everything is my fault, im a monster, im selfish. P Afraid of change, the new relationship, having someone say he loves me P ”I'm able to make somebody feel good??” Afraid I will soar too high P/E? I’ll go under if someone leaves (and if i'm no...

🔸 Getting to matter 🔹 Parts: P: Realist, tired of the rollercoaster P: Enthusiasm & Inspiration P: We've done this before E: Dismissible. Gymnast. Just wanted her mom to care. Not allowed to have reaction to being told no. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating,...

🔸 1️⃣ Beyond committed. The art and science of figuring out your entire self 2️⃣ Deep down bad parts. It’s crazy the way kids are treated. 📌 1️⃣ Olivia Followed up: i will say-- i actually wish i talked more about this on the pod but the mdma aftermath isn't always a treat, there are actually some big feelings of turmoil afterwards, you kind of feel like your life is a mess for a couple week...

🔸 What are the consequences of being vulnerable? Of trusting men? An experiment. 🔹 Parts: Ps: Put it all out there v. hold back E: 14 responsible, get a job, romantic partners E: love and acceptance from male role models 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Do differently: prepare better for midday calls, I'm often a little slow out of the gate. Grateful for Christine's leadership, wh...