Live IFS

🔸 “How many parts are there? When are we going to be done?” A protector wants Jo to just get over it. We spend half our time with him and the other half with the related exile, a fearful 4-year-old. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): Exile: 4 year old, don’t let anybody in, even you. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I think Ive been studying IFS too much recently. Sometimes...

🔸 Romance, Demons, invisible walls and black magic. Laughter, tears, revenge. Fear of rejection, worthlessness, overwhelm. Distrust of self. And a toddler. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I'm celebrating! I vowed to figure out whatever was causing a chronic ailment of mine, which had a major impact on my ability to access Self, and I think I succeeded. Today is day one. It would have persiste...

🔸 Rachel is happy! Is that a part? Is anyone getting left behind? ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: Itunes YouTube How to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre

🔸 Frauke is about to receive an award, but a part doesn't want it. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): In chest, hot Concerned about not being understood. Deeper concerns point to teenage part, pain of not belonging, not being enough. Rather relax Needs to be able to witness from a distance, and to find some authentic feedback. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I was surprise...

🔸 It's good. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): "Too much me, too much need." Badness. Yearning for heartfelt connection. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I think I pulled us off-track at least a couple times. Maybe I was having too much fun! ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more...

🔸 Layers. A part shows up as two. The 25 year old and the 3 year old. 3 year old tells us more fears, we witness more than ever before. Guilt of “you’re making this up”, shame of “it felt good”, and “neighbor girl being sexual”. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I'm on half-power today. Poor sleep, a hectic morning. Thankfully Jo picked up a lot of my slack. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to J...

🔸 After negotiating with multiple protectors, Daniel makes contact with the exile. My prediction from last time seems to be bearing out. I believe he's well-calibrated, so I stay quiet to avoid pulling him off course. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): The Loving & Strict Father says "you ARE worthy, don't waste you're time validating those feelings of worthlessness" The F...

🔸 "She had everything she needed... except love". We revisit the part from last time, or one related; a possessive part, not wanting to share (friends).  Lots of contact and receiving images, but story-telling, judgement, & numbing are standing gaurd. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): Teen Throat Thinks she's in high school or 20 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: M...

🔸 The migraines went away! Then came back... We go to the exile behind this angry protector, and to that disastrous night it all started. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): The exile, the 8 year old. Sad, lonely, confused, panicking. Needs someone to talk to her parents and teachers. Needs what they all need. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I got a little stuck on "how to...

🔸 “Are you gonna take care of me?” The heavy, responsible part holds everything up by holding others down. We find an infant and get to unburdening. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): Heavy responsible Head, neck, shoulders Fears abandonment Rather be outwardly energetic, productive The exile is less than 2 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I heard a lot of “I thinks” and wa...

🔸 The room full of babies, we dive straight in and do some unburdening. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Time will tell ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: Itunes YouTube How to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page que...

🔸 Daniel is all in. He's developed the habit of regular parts work, is cataloging them all, deciding who to go to next. I'm deadweight! ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: Itunes YouTube How to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this...

🔸 That exile is still happy! (Though a part wants to feed her answers). We do half an unburdening with the lonely tween. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): The lonely tween, boy trouble. "Not worth knowing" and "feeling sorry for myself" 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Im encouraged by this success and Rachel’s pace. She has been doing 2 sessions per week with me, so I'm h...

🔸 Work with the overachiever seems to have paid off. Now we meet the cause of the migraines.  **Aandraya texted me 5 days after our call: migraine-free ever since! *** Sorry about the audio. Both recording devices malfunctioned! 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): The angry part Head, neck shoulders Afraid of being pushed around, of being absent from personality Thinks she...

🔸 Anne plans to coach using IFS and is ready to work with the big issue threatening her marriage. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): You're not worth it. They'd be better off if you weren't here. The wall on the chest, the cell Afraid of heart break Rather be loving everyone Thinks Anne is 8 Calm, and for her to work with Pride, and for a mother-daughter date possibly involvin...

🔸 A different approach leads us to the overwhelmed woman and the people pleaser. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): Overwhelmed, too much to do Afraid of being hurt if not busy Thinks she’s 15 Needs Jo to establish boundaries, not invite the wrong people in The people pleaser also thinks she’s 15 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Again inspired by Derek Scott recently, I dec...

🔸 "I never felt like anyone was there for me because I never felt like I was there for myself" Daniel followed up with me after the call saying “... seems like the blank paper as an intermediary works very well now, I'm connecting with parts with enough of distance to not get overwhelmed when I'm doing it alone. Kinda like a safety barrier"" ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form...

🔸 Exile #2: "The sling and everything"  (Rachel was exhausted after our last call. Turned out to be covid.) 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): Anxiety and fear want to keep things in order The 5 year old 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I'm feeling more confident in going to exiles now with Rachel. I have parts saying both "too fast" and "too slow"... so... just right?...

🔸 Protectors on hiatus. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): The infant. Less than one year old Infant can't say what she needs, but Rosie has some ideas. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Who can really understand what an infant wants? Maybe no one. And every one. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Famil...

🔸 Aandraya's "wonder woman" part is losing hope; after 25 years of migraines, and 10 years of Lyme disease, the anxious-avoidant "just stay sick / in bed" part is taking over. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): The high performing, high achieving, problem solving part Head, tension in face Fear: never enough, not worthy Thinks she 8 12 Needs patience. Baby steps. 🎓 What I'd l...

🔸 A room full of babies, and a critic we've met, but haven't quite helped. I'm driving and somewhat scattered, fortunately we combine self energy. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): The New York / Italian manager / critic Rather be sailing 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Sorry Jo and listeners, I was dealing with technical and scheduling and climate difficulties. ----- 🗳 S...

🔸 Putting others first brings out feelings of victimhood. We also spot "against forgiving myself" / "the underdog", "the emperor", and the exile behind them all.  FYI when I say "we've talked for almost an hour", I'm not lying; I cut the pre-session chat out of most calls. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Get more sleep. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat...

🔸 It's time to bring that little girl home from the hospital. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): Protector: You shouldn't be that way Throat Fear of being seen as stupid, and of being left along 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I could have talked less. She liked being reassured that her responses were normal, so I took those opportunities. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback t...

🔸 Zach's been in therapy since age 16 and just left his Level 3 IFS practitioner after 6-7 sessions. We spend less than half the call doing parts work. The rest is questions and guesses. I use all the analogies. Lots of skeptical parts. Lots of parts wanting to jump in. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach...

🔸 Hanna believes she is neurodivergent, but getting a diagnosis in her country is extra challenging, so without a diagnosis she prefers to stick to this general label. We talk to parts in the system related to being organized, daily functioning, and so-called "adulting", otherwise known as EF (executive functioning) deficits, which I know well in myself. From my understanding of it, her experienc...