Live IFS

🔸 The fear of sex & intimacy; too painful & shameful to explore for the protector-protector. 🔹 Parts: The wall, the fortress. Protecting from the hoard of hurtful voices (including mother's), they cause panic and helplessness. Rather be relaxing, having tea, reading a book Thinks she's 30 and thinks she thinks she's 30! Needs assurance that Mio will go to parts with compassio...

🔸 Unburdening an exile behind "Quitting weed and alcohol will make me boring." 🔹 Parts: PvP: Be structured vs be fun. Concerns about how sobriety will affect friendship. And if you take away something fun, you have to add something else... but that takes planning. P: "Oh god here we go again with the emotions". Exposure. People will judge. E: Lonely, The trembling child with...

🔸 Anxiety, “no time for self care”, from a part we haven't met before? 🔹 Parts: Anxious, buzzy productive Afraid of loneliness that leads to worthlessness Rather be relaxing or dancing Age 25! 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: A different energy today, not sure what to attribute that to, I think I was in a decent place, had time to prepare, and Jo also mentioned feeling relatively good...

🔸 Frustration takes credit for all important work. The exiles must wait. 🔹 Parts: E1: Panic when "they're not even trying to understand me" (also triggered in our last convo) E2: Sullen and shut down when nothing is good enough Ps: The parade of anxious ones. "Don't know how to give space" P: Perhaps the biggest boss(?), Frustration, who pushes past anxious parts when...

🔸 Can we alleviate this headache with IFS? And unkept promises; the thinking part has resentment. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): The headache. Not sure we ever figured out what it was protecting. I texted immediately after call to ask about headache. Response: "... less tight and constricted. A definite easing" The big protectors: Thinking part, is always around,...

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🔸 "You're ugly, you're nothing." Pretty/ugly, anorexia, and parts with secrets. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): E: The <5yo with the eye patch E: 7-8yo with glasses, "everyone else is pretty" E: 14-17yo Anorexic, mom screaming (to keep up appearances). Dark. Desperate. P: By labeling me as ugly it helped push down the unbearable feeling of bei...

🔸 Simple, but not easy. When parts try to do IFS. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): Task master. Angry, intimidating. Tired. Adrenaline, vibrating through body, jumping out of skin Afraid of getting in trouble, moral judgement, thinks she's 8. Demanding mother, parent separating, chaos. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I could sense it, but didn't put words to...

🔸 Yearning for romance vs Stop trying. Eyerolling wants patience. We glimpse multiple exiles? *Theresa has ADHD, is into body-work and has listened to lots of LiveIFS 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): We had to stop listening to music, become an adult. No space or time for those emotions Despair Dramatic, hard to manage, enthusiasm is inconvenient Inconvenient child = too muc...

🔸 "You can't handle what I have to say... Who are you to even do this?" The cringe, the doubt, the exile. Round 2. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): It didn't realize the 24/7 stuff was unfair "Can never do anything right" 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: The "do that with your therapist" comment is a reference to an unpublished pa...

🔸 “You’re too broken to live in this world” gets between Jo and her work with an exile. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): Wizard of oz Dad gave him this job 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Sick again today! Brain not work good. I promise I’ll figure it out. (Update: March '23 - I figured it out!) ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat...

🔸 Jo forgot what part to check in with, I think that's new. An indication that we are onto something very important? We learn about the stepdad. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): Buzz lightyear and the teen who fights him. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe...

🔸 The part that plays dad! 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I don’t know why we didn’t find this sooner… Maybe we're missing something in the unblending process? I think finding this part is a big deal, and suspect it touches a lot of the others. Getting to know and healing it should have a big impact. However, the conversation is kind of rough. I am quite sick today and I need a nap....

🔸 The comic-book villian, the wicked witch, the judge's judge, and a 3 year old gets a name. Jo had a list of parts, but we went to some new places instead. No bad parts. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I was determined to try new things today, spent an extra 20 mins prepping for this call. New things worked well. I need to listen back to this one. Also testing out a new way to make/r...

🔸 "It has to be 100%": judgmental / insistent on Jo having a particular meditation practice. Afraid if we don’t get it right the monster will come… Leads us to a sleeping baby. And here is Dick Schwartz on Tolle: https://youtu.be/pplRt2OA8N4?t=957 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Why Jo week? Because these calls are 6+ months old, and I also I felt I was not bringing the curiosit...

🔸 "Reveling in her fury", an unburdening. Seems we have (enough) trust from the sharp thinker, the cynic, the fear. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): Exile: "I can't do it". Hopeless, resigned, aching, flat. Age 7-8 "Hard to grow up in my family. Had to stop caring, feeling, expecting." 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Didn't have...

🔸 Making space for the exile. Slow is fast. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): "Don't take it away from me, leave me empty" Needs space and to be seen. Afraid to share true wants, ferocity Almost invisible The black kettle. The bottom of the well. Believes she's not deserving, selfish, not wanted, ugly, untouchable. Suppressing hunger, wants. 🎓 What I'd...

🔸 As many parts, but now one at a time. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): The caretaker Self hate and anger “stand up for yourself” ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: Itunes YouTube How to leave a review - iPhone

🔸 "I'm not ok with me". Rosie shares 2 techniques she's discovered for connecting with exiles. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: We planned to just chat today, maybe not do IFS. Only the "IFS" part of that conversation is being published. I think we both walked away with some disappointment or frustration about the rest of it, and I'm concerned that will inte...

🔸 Productivity, distraction, the burden of being too much, a bullet in the heart. What is fun? What is love? Attention, listening, cringe, the feeling of invasion when a mother is "lovey". And Jerry. Also Olivia has been texting me to check in every day for about 15 days as of this writing. Something new! 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Testing the possibility of connection, hop...

🔸 The familiar knot in the solar-plexus, the binging firefighters, the skeptic "this is all made up, don't trust your intuition", the busy thinking mind, big and sharp, the fear of going too fast to the knot, the fear of the busy thinker, only a child after all, the caretaker (3rd person), guarded and nervous "you'll fuck it up", and overwhelm at the vastness of such a...

🔸 Begin again. A focused conversation, starting with targeting an exile "not good enough". 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): Anger Afraid of being walked on, of "not good enough" of "not having a voice". Thinks Rachel is 12 Needs her to go slow, to be with it constantly (not wait till it's triggered), to hold its hand, and to listen to a lot...

🔸 The caretaker and associates have been pushed to their limits. We finish what we started with that exile. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): The exile age 6 & 9 & 13 & 17... Torn between the longing to be taken care of, and the fear that if it falls into that softness, it will lose everything and be judged. Shame, pain, loneliness, desperation, fury, and being mi...

🔸 Parts we may have bypassed: The caretaker, keeping other feelings from being overwhelmed. "When I allowed it to express it anger, it got much more honest" 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Sorry dear listener, I didn't mean fuck *you*, I meant fuck the *concept* that there is an audience to please. I was just trying to make a point to Daniel's "need to entertain&quo...

🔸 Going direct with "Afraid he's right". We also talk grief, forgiveness, and accountability. 🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs): The Un-deserver, a 14 y.o. moralist. "If you're guilty, you're the worst person ever. Accept it" Doubts IFS will help you feel better, and "feeling better" means excusing wrong. "I know I could have done...