Live IFS

🔸 Co-parts-working for ADHD. 🔹 Parts: P: The pusher/rusher. Uses clinching anxiety to get it all done, to the point of not being able to enjoy Lunch, etc. E: Not ok to mess up, to drop the ball, to not show up w people, to disappoint. (Maybe not the main driver of this protector) 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Must.. resists.. adhd.. coaching! Maybe I should make a separate podcast. : p...

🔸 "A different way of looking at sadness" 🔹 Parts: E: 8yo. The guilt pushes down the rage and mourning. Loss of dad, grandmother and more. Needs: Stop thinking so much. Just accept my pain. Don't make suggestions. Trust. Pay attention to the one who wants to help, to take me to the mountains. Wants to turn what she mourns into lights, not to forget them 🎓 What I'd like to do d...

🔸 "This wasn't in the plan and nothing has worked". When Self doesn't know what to do. 📍 Context: You're joining us after 45 mins of our chat, but you're not missing any of the parts work. 🔹 Parts: Skeptics & Spiritual parts. "What do I really need? The healing trauma track?" Self doubt, need authority, permission Age 23, 24 "I lost my footing"...

🔸 The tangled battle for effortless calm. Fun conscious blending, Self plays hide-and-seek. 🔹 Parts: The task manager is at the surface, maybe always? Feels like "it is me!" And afraid of what it might mean if that weren't true. Intensifies the exile by "having me do things" (to be a better person, be normal, acceptable, healthy, etc). Wants to fix everything but realizes...

🔸 "Everything is so much easier" - a view from the other side(?) 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Processing so many new perspectives and terminology, and not knowing which I was interpreting right, shook my confidence. We hadn't talked in months, so I didn't know if this call would be "I'm doing better than ever" or "I hit rock bottom". Call me si...

🔸 Not all exiles are young. 🔹 Parts: P: Don't do creative stuff, Throat, Afraid of going off deep end, suicide, and pain of rejection. Rather be at the beach. Thinks she's 25 (significant) E: hurt by rejection, depressed. Needs boundaries around others, and to focus on the process. Age 41 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: The initial targeting. I don't know if that was just a h...

🔸 IFS 101: (a.) Meeting a protector. (b.) Q&A, glimpses of most welcome parts. Jovan is new to IFS, but not the landscape. Diagnosed w ADHD and suspects Autism. 🔹 Parts: P: Don't show interest. Shut up. Keep it to yourself. Or else: E: I'd be seen. Judged & overwhelmed. Age 9? Protector thinks he's 17, stressful time. In tension with "Put yourself out there!" protec...

🔸 The whirlwind wants to play, a pushy part gets in the way. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: Itunes YouTube How to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 IFS for headaches. What is this crazy magic? 🔹 Parts: P: The headache. Blocks out the emotional pain of: E: Failing to relate. People aren't safe, can't be trusted. Not being seen. Not safe/allowed to be my emotional self (sad/angry). Memories of life in London flat. Needs the listening circle. Start with attention. P: Find the answers, or else you won't do it right. You can't...

🔸 "I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm bad for rejecting my mother." Another exile? 🔹 Parts: E: Guilt for rejecting mother. Obscured by something dark and wooly. Below the naval. P: Run away from that feeling! Run away, and also run towards Dad P: Judging this exile, the cocreators of the guilt, necessary to keep the rage from getting destructive. Afraid she might hurt herself. 🎓 What I...

🔸 "Nothing will make anything right." The biggest scariest exile and the stressed-out captain. 🔹 Parts: E: 9yo. Anxiety, dread. "Can't handle anything", "Nothing is worth whatever pain I'm in". P: Fear if this part overwhelms, Olivia becomes suicidal. "Dont get too close" "Nobody else can help", "You have no idea", "If you...

🔸 "You will not receive love, just give up" on romance. 🔹 Parts: P: "Just give up" is persistent but not dramatic. In the head, arms crossed, cold, afraid of wasting time and the disappointment from: E: Wants more love than she gets, feels dismissed, outside, an inconvenience. Too little, too boring, has to do everything herself. Was this the 4yo? E: 7 Year old, similar. 🎓 W...

🔸 Direct access of the Reacher. After listening back to this (about 3 months and sessions later) Rosie followed up: "...noticed this reaching part coming up as I was sitting in an audience starting to anticipate my cameo appearance, and was able to turn towards, right there in the audience, and relax it. The performance had other technical issues, but I was much more grounded in myself. ‘Twa...

🔸 “I’m a mess” The feral 7-year-old in me says: no describe. 🔹 Parts: Avoidant 7yo on the edge of the forest (two parts?). "Just move on". Wants us to avoid the: The Depressor (23-24 yo, drugs, in hospital). “You left me here” Avoidant's communication gets blocked by the people pleaser, nice guy. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord...

🔸 IFS is hard! Full body fear and anxiety. Who is it? 🔹 Parts: Fear and anxiety, a monster, "my inner fire, power", yellow. Not allowed, must contain fullness, bigness. Has to stay small. "I don't matter, not worthy, not important". Bound. Age 4? But showed a picture of 7-9 yo. Protectors fear what she might say, and fear the backlash. 🎓 What I'd like to do different...

🔸 "Cursed, untouchable, incredibly lonely, and desperate... she rejected her mother because of the way she was touching her." 🔹 Parts: The exile from last call, on a knife point, longing to let go but terrified of what would happen if she did. Believes it's her fault for rejecting her mother 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Thanks to Ivan's edits, you don't hear the...

🔸 "Don't do dumb stuff!" Don't give people false hopes. All seems straightforward, and exile-less. I suggest we keep searching. 🔹 Parts: Eyerolling skeptic. Forceful, serious. The Not fun one Embarrassment, integrity Rather be at the beach Needs Theresa to study thoroughly and well. By making time and space to do so. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Theresa was patient w...

🔸 Picking up where we left off, hopelessness for itself and all the hurt children out there. 🔹 Parts: Jobee, age 3 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I have been reluctant to "give the part a name", concerned about putting people on the spot to be "creative", or unfairly crystalizing something amorphous, or crossing a line with skeptical parts. Just like I wouldn't a...

🔸 "I can't just be alone" an exile unburdened. Implicit direct access. 🔹 Parts: P: Figure it out, get the secret information, and you'll feel fine. P: Task master P: Eager to move, do, explore E: 10 year old with a broken leg. Lonely, wanting attention. Not trusting of parents. Mom so busy. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: This is me at the edge of my comfort/confidence,...

🔸 Judgement and the parts stifling it. “Relaxing into love with somebody is too dangerous”, “no man can be trusted”* *Justine says I may have edited-out more detail than necessary on this one, including these quotes that reveal the topic. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Audio-only is most challenging when I provoke exiles. Face-to-face, I tend to get quiet, rely on facial expressions to d...

🔸 The youngest part, a baby frozen in fear. Can Mio help without knowing the history? 🔹 Parts: The world is not safe, nobody will come to help, I have to do it myself, taking-in is dangerous, they’ll take it all away from me Can't stop crying Yearns to relax, be warm, be held. ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form 😀Come chat with us: Discord 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family S...

🔸 Influence, "going along with things I didn't want to do." "I didn't think those other things had anything to do with this..." 🔹 Parts: P: The wall. No is the answer. Rigid. I dont need anything except you to listen. Integrity, protecting others. Gut, cramps(?), clenched jaw. E: Dragged and trampled. 17 first shitty boyfriend. Age 12 "first real boyfriend",...

🔸 Body image, attractiveness, weight, exiles, and the joy of sadness. 🔹 Parts: Manager, fears it can't do its job with conflicting info Panic about panicking Not wanting to grieve E: 15-17yo "filling out", clothes dont fit E: 8/9-11yo Don't want to be like mom, dread "when's it going to happen". Nonperson if not attractive. Invisible. Terrifying no control over de...

🔸 Two calls in one: 1. Not really an IFS call, just an update on how Daniel's doing. 2. Going with the flow didnt work, The Control Nazi defending from chaos, the survival shit show, but afraid of judgement. 🔹 Parts: P: Control nazi, structure, rather be empire building. Thinks he’s in late teens. The judge of many parts, of structure: why aren’t we further along? The people pleaser The exil...

🔸 "You're making this up!" Head-to-head with the cynical skeptic. 🔹 Parts: The skeptic. Repeats "you're making it up", a mask of cruelty. Afraid of "going in". "It will be too much." Thinks she's 7. Alone, not seen, not got. Wants to be touched, wants Justine to stay in Self, not to push, one step at a time. 🎓 What I'd like to do different...