Let's Therapize That Shit!!!

The skill of validation can be both incredibly useful AND really challenging to use interpersonally and with ourselves. My sister Ruth joins me for a conversation about what challenges she's encountered in practicing validation. We discuss some of the beliefs we grew up with around validation and problem-solve ways to remove those roadblocks. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references: DB...

WARNING: If you or someone you care about is experiencing a mental health crisis and/or suicidal ideation, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available via call, text, chat, and with resources for Deaf/HoH folks. Please use discretion in listening to this episode. I currently do want to live AND there are times when I don't. I know that in those times, most of the things that people say in an atte...

Interested in DBT and want to hear about it from the patient's side instead of the therapist's side? You're in luck! I've done a variety of DBT skills groups and individual therapy, and have finally created an episode all about: what DBT is, who created it, what various DBT programs are like, and an overview of what skills are covered in the skills training manual. I also go over what I love about...

My sister Ruth joins me for the second part of our conversation around accepting that she hurts others and others hurt her. We identified where she’s out of acceptance in episode 49, so in this episode we’re practicing acceptance of those things, step by step. It’s a lengthy process but we get faster as we go and she moves closer to accepting by the end of the episode! Helpful resources from this...

My sister Ruth joins me to drill down to what she's not accepting around how she impacts others. Because she's not accepting that she hurts others, she's unable to repair relationship effectively. It takes quite a bit of testing various ideas to land on what lies at the root of her fear that she might hurt other people. But we find it! Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references: DBT Skill...

The second half of my conversation with my sister Anne about the end of a decades-long friendship. This half focuses on validation - I validate her and she validates herself. We also uncover some delightful analogies to explain her experience. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version; DBT Skills Training Handouts and Work...

My sister joins me for a conversation about friendship loss that’s just dripping with judgements. I validate her experience then practice turning her judgements into non-judgmental language with a heavy dose of laughter. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version; DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets  –  bu...

I’m getting ready to enter a PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program) after my time in a psych hospital, and I have some anxiety. And shame. And judgements. So, use a lite version of Cope Ahead for how to manage my anxiety, and then do some self-validation by way of comparing where I am now to where I was 4 years ago. A little bit of Check the Facts squeezes it’s way in there too. Helpful resources f...

Fresh off a 12-day psychiatric hospitalization, I’ve got stories to tell and stereotypes to dispel. I discuss how I came to voluntarily admit myself, getting covid and being quarantined for 8 days, medical gaslighting, and self-harming to avoid discharge. I also share what hope I’ve been able to find since getting out and where my focus is as I’m adjusting to being home again. Helpful resources fr...

Are we noticing a trend? I'm noticing a trend. Acceptance continues to be the most useful skill while also being the one I'm least reliable to use. Here we are again with another opportunity to practice: while I'm having an episode of extreme pain after a treatment that was supposed to stop the extreme pain from happening. Judgements, feelings, and urges ABOUND. Helpful resources from this episode...

Note: a version of this episode was uploaded on Aug 14, 2025 (1 hr, 8 minutes long). I have deleted that recording and replaced it with this one (1 hr, 1 minute long). You'll hear why in this episode. I’m back from a 2-year hiatus and (wouldn't you know it) shame is still kicking around. I give a “summary” of all that’s gone on since last I’ve posted. I’ve got updates on the remodel, searching for...

Recorded on Oct 18, 2023 This is a deviation from my normal content, but a genocide warrants it. Part 4 of a 4-part series, this episode focuses on what is and isn't antisemitism, shares the perspective of some Jewish folks, and ends with the most important voices in the room: Palestinians in Gaza. Rather than me talking about therapy skills (or even talking all that much period), I've collected v...

Recorded on Oct 17, 2023 This is a deviation from my normal content, but a genocide warrants it. Part 3 of a 4-part series, this episode focuses on white supremacy and the United States' complicity in the Israeli genocide against Palestinians. Rather than me talking about therapy skills (or even talking all that much period), I've collected videos, posts, websites from dozens of Instagram accounts...

Recorded on Oct 17, 2023 This is a deviation from my normal content, but a genocide warrants it. Part 2 of a 4-part series, this episode focuses on propaganda and how to identify misinformation. Rather than me talking about therapy skills (or even talking all that much period), I've collected videos, posts, websites from dozens of Instagram accounts, TikTok accounts, news outlets, non-profits, etc...

Recorded on Oct 16, 2023 This is a deviation from my normal content, but a genocide warrants it. Part 1 of a 4-part series, this episode focuses on the historical context of Israel's colonialization of historic Palestine. Rather than me talking about therapy skills (or even talking all that much period), I've collected videos, posts, websites from dozens of Instagram accounts, TikTok accounts, new...

During this episode, I’m pretty annoyed at the experience of doing therapy and I’m not shy about showing it. So I observe and describe what it feels like to do exposure therapy. In listening back to the main recording, I have an epiphany: part of what makes exposure so painful is that I’m judging my own thoughts as I’m having them. And like a bull in a China shop, I wreak a lot of havoc on myself...

It’s post-exposure processing time while climbing stairs! After doing exposure to traumatic invalidation, I know enough to know that I need to practice acceptance to something, but I’m not sure what that something is. It takes some venting and meandering to home in on the facts – which include my feelings. I also come up with a coping thought to use in the future. Helpful resources from this episo...

I'm observing some surprising behavior from a couple former partners and feeling absolutely ill over it. I practice some observe and describe to figure out what I'm feeling, chat with my wise mind a bit, and ultimately practice opposite action to the guilt that comes up when I'm communicating boundaries. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Workshee...

Wanna hear what intellectualizing emotions sounds like? The recording featured in the middle of this episode has a bunch of that. As part of my exposure therapy homework, I'm doing exposure to job hunting and intellectualizing the shit out of my feelings of hopelessness and despair. It's not effective. However, I do end the episode by trying out a new skill: Mindfulness of Current Emotions, specif...

A couple episodes ago, I was dealing with anger about my autism diagnosis. This episode, it’s time for sadness! I’m hopping right on the “it’s hopeless” thought train, heading for a cliff, so I reign myself in with the Distract skill, specifically using comparisons. I also talk about using diary cards and competency tiers to remind me of where I’m skillful. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT...

One of the skills that helps build a life that's worth living in the long-term is identifying one's values. And I hate doing it. Ergo why it's this week's exposure therapy assignment. I go through a couple questions designed to help me imagine what my life might look like when I'm acting from my values. I grumble about it, but I do it anyway. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references: DB...

Fresh off my autism assessment and with official diagnosis in tow, I’m angry as hell. I have a ton of anger come up over past invalidation from my parents, and walk through the pros and cons of telling them and not telling them. I take a step back and observe and describe how my anger feels in my body, and I practice nonjudgement towards my parents. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT referen...

Six weeks into exposure therapy and I’m feeling INCREDIBLY low. I know enough to know judging myself isn't going to help, so I bring out the big guns: the validation skill. Self-validation freaks me the fuck out, so only after doing a bunch of distress tolerance was I able to practice the validation skill on myself re: feeling isolated, angry, abandoned, and hopeless. Helpful resources from this e...

We dive into another therapy session with my therapist during my 6th week of doing exposure to traumatic invalidation. I process a lot of feelings including sadness, rage, and isolation. And my therapist points out how I use non-judgment to invalidate myself. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version; DBT Skills Training H...

I have my first guest!! My sister Ruth joins me to talk about why we get so annoyed when a skill actually works to help us regulate and/or be more effective. We practice some observe and describe with each other, and rant about the Puritans and capitalism. As one does. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version; DBT Skills...