Let's Therapize That Shit!!!

This episode features the first time I’m including a therapy session! I share my 5th week of doing exposure to traumatic invalidation. Listen as my therapist and I go over my homework from the previous week, dive deep into a memory of invalidation, and then process what came up for me. The big skills I practice are observing and describing, and we get some tears in there too. Helpful resources fro...

Four weeks into exposure therapy and I’m feeling pretty low. So given that I’m doing exposure to traumatic invalidation, I try my hand at practicing self-validation. I go over what validation is (and isn’t), and then practice validation step-by-step. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version; DBT Skills Training Handouts a...

Continued from the previous episode: I go through the process of determining how to process shame that came up during my autism assessment. I Check the Facts and determine my shame is NOT justified, which leads me to practicing Opposite Action to shame. And before the shame goes down, ohhhh boy does it ever go up. One of the key steps of Opposite Action is repeating the action over and over again...

While answering a questionnaire for my autism assessment, I have a TON of distress come up. Is it fear? Is it disgust? Is it sadness? I practice some observe and describe to determine that HEY! it's unjustified shame! I do a deep dive into the triggers of shame, how it feels in my body, how I express it, and how it lingers. Check out part 2 (Ep 26) to hear me process my shame. Helpful resources fr...

While doing this week’s exposure assignment (reading my parents’ prayer newsletters), I have a ton of disgust come up.  I feel nauseated and generally ill as I practice radical acceptance to all the body sensations, emotions, and thoughts that come up.  It's a roller coaster of judgements, stomach gurgles, and a fair amount of repetition.  Acceptance isn’t a one-and-done proposition...

Huffing & puffing on the stairs brings up some pretty intense concerns around invalidation: notably potential invalidation around an autism diagnosis and potential invalidation from my dad. I start off doing some mindfulness of current thoughts and then meander into identifying what I need to practice accepting. Spoiler: my feelings about being invalidated are part of what I need to practice a...

I've got some strong self-destruction urges going on in this episode. My old behavioral patterns of self-harm and dissociated sex are screaming for attention and emotion mind is angling for the steering wheel. What's a human to do? I dig out some wise mind and practice some visualization exercises. And I also practice the fuck out of nonjudgement cause I am determined not to go into a shame spiral...

After a rescheduled therapy session is cancelled, I have a very hard day. I have all kinds of thoughts about not being able to get the help I need, and spiral pretty intensely into despair. I practice observing (and describing, cause hey, it's a podcast), and mindfulness to current thoughts. And I judge the fuck out of myself until I understand that my feelings and thoughts are part of the facts o...

Fresh off a 3-month break, I jump right into feeling like absolute shit. I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and have no idea what the deal is. I practice observing and describing my body sensations and my thoughts, and share what I've learned re: the impact of being invalidated. Oh and I get super judgmental too, so I practice some non-judgement and a bit of self-validation as well. Helpful re...

Normally, I use a lot of skills to keep the metaphorical glass of water from falling off the table. This episode, I practice a skill so I can catch the glass of water before it crashes to the ground. Turning the Mind is annoyingly simple and annoyingly effective. It takes me a while to observe where I'm at, AND once I've done that, the rest happens annoyingly fast. I'm generally annoyed. Helpful r...

I THINK this will be my last episode about the breakup for a good long while. After a 2-hour long phone call with my former partner, I practice the Mindfulness of Current Thoughts skill and create a mountain of Kleenex. I sit with a lot of thoughts that bring up deep sadness, and while I start off pretty despondent and despairing, I don't stay there, ending on a hopeful note. Helpful resources fro...

I finally got around to feeling angry about my breakup. My former partner dropped off the last of my stuff and I process ALL the feelings. Well, really, just two: sadness & SO MUCH anger. There's some blame, there's some judgement, there's so much crying. It's shocking, I know, but I end up practicing acceptance too. Go figure. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references: DBT Skills Tr...

We made it! The final part of my trauma anniversary trilogy. I describe how the anniversaries feel in my body (including my self-harm urges), read a couple old Facebook posts that double as journal entries, and then get into the meat: acceptance. Acceptance of how my trauma anniversaries have gone so far, and acceptance of my judgements about it. Oh and I'm super annoyed about it too. Helpful reso...

Here's some more traumaversary content for you! I've got some serious librarian voice going on this episode, recording while recovering from a cold. I use the Pros and Cons skill to address my self-harm urges. But this isn't your mother's pros & cons list - listen to learn more! Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf versio...

January is my traumaversary month (4 trauma events in the course of 2 weeks), so in anticipation of having strong self-harm urges, I use the Cope Ahead skill! I imagine what sort of emotions and urges I anticipate having, and create a plan for what skill I want to use when in distress. Spoiler: it's Wise Mind! I also drop in some The Office & High School Musical references for a little extra s...

Where are my burnout buddies at? We've really got to stop meeting like this. I'm on a mission to identify the cause of my persistent burnout in every job I've ever had. I use a chain analysis (spoiler, that's NOT the effective skill here), switch over to a missing-link analysis (spoiler, that IS the effective skill here), and dive into my shame around setting boundaries. This is a very messy episo...

My kingdom for a tissue! I made the bulk of this episode's recording sitting in my car in the gym parking lot, crying. A lot. Sadness hit me like a ton of bricks, so I focus on observing and describing my emotions, validating myself, and looking for both/ands rather than BUTs. I go over the skill of Mindfulness of Current Thoughts as a way of getting some space between my emotions and my thoughts....

With this many interpretations going on, I could get a job at the United Nations. After a conversation with my former partner, I talk about my interpretations (i.e. thoughts), realizing that I was relating to those interpretations as if they were REALITY, and the impact that that realization has on me. There's a lot of sadness, regret, remorse, and grief that comes up. Then, I practice radical acc...

You know there aren't any great idioms or quotes to be had about urges, which makes writing a podcast description challenging. This episode, I process some some self-destructive urges via a bit of self-inquiry. I ask the urges what they're trying to do for me, I sit with some shame that comes up, use the urge-surfing skill, and finish it up by going over a TIP skill to get rid of the nervous energ...

Butterflies in the stomach, sweat on the palms, and terror on the mind!! I launch the podcast and am instantly flooded with a hurricane of anxiety. I go over the justified causes of my fear and label the interpretations, body sensations, and urges I have as a result. And then I check the hell out of all the facts and walk you through that process. I start off all jittery and nervous, and by the en...

Listen to me go from playing varsity to little league as I tackle an emotion I'm not at all skilled at: disgust. Never fear, if you've got a weak stomach, you're totally fine cause in this case, my disgust is prompted by hypocrisy. I am incredibly ineffective at unpacking my disgust and realize I totally forgot to actually OBSERVE how I got there. So I add some of that in at the end. Let's be disg...

Hey look, a break from the breakup! Today I'm practicing acceptance around being invalidated. I go through acceptance step by step, do a lot of deep breathing, and have a remarkable amount of indigestion as I go. A kinda nifty outcome: practicing acceptance about my parents' validation skill level allowed me to see what boundaries I could put in place with them! Helpful resources from this episode...

My new therapist and I discover I'm struggling with distressing thoughts about abandonment. The more distressed I get, the less I'm able to problem solve. So, this week, I focus on how to bring that distress down with the IMPROVE skill. I practice some imagery, some relaxation, and more! Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf ve...

I know, I know, but hear me out! Typically I LOATHE affirmations. I often find them trite, obnoxiously positive, and invalidating. AND there are some thoughts and phrases I use in order to cope when I'm experiencing intense emotions. I go over examples of affirmations that I don't find helpful and juxtapose them with coping thoughts that I DO find helpful. Helpful resources from this episode: DBT...

You won't like me when I'm angry! Listen as I jump back and forth between me hulking out in the past and me providing commentary in the present. I give a short introduction to Emotion Mind, and practice non-judgement and radical acceptance. And somehow, I end on a positive note! Helpful resources from this episode: DBT references DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets – online pdf version DBT...