Intimate Covenant Podcast

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn look at a few more myths that were encouraged by the Purity Culture Movement which still persist in many conservative religious circles. For example: “If I save myself for marriage, my sex life will be amazing.”  “If I marry a Christian, my marriage will be happy.” “Marriage is the solution to your sex problem (lust, porn) and your loneliness probl...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge your definition of "purity" and tackle some myths propagated by the Sexual Purity Movement. Purity means that your whole being is filled and directed by one thing: God.  Sexual purity is not merely about what we are doing or not doing with our genitals! It is dangerous theology when we come to believe and teach that sex is evil,...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode Matt & Jenn answer another handful of listener questions, including: How to handle daily excuses for not having sex. How to find a qualified godly therapist. Recommendations for couples bible study. Dealing with sensitive topics As you consider these questions and our answers, take note of the important issues and dynamics in your own relationship. Be willing t...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn dig into the mail bag for a potpourri of topics including: Can scheduling sex still be romantic? How to prioritize your marriage when facing the challenges of raising a special needs child? Have we ever been met with resistance by church leaders for talking about marriage and sex? Do you have any advice for planning a romantic vacation? As you cons...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the challenges of rebuilding your sexual relationship and the challenges of maintaining intimacy AFTER the baby comes. If you are blessed by the birth of children, your sex life and relational intimacy will change, especially in the immediate postpartum timeframe. You must each acknowledge the physical and emotional challenges of this time...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode Matt & Jenn speak to the challenges of maintaining a sexual relationship and all other realms of connection during pregnancy. In almost all situations, sex during pregnancy is safe. If you are unsure, ask your health care provider and be sure that you ask specific questions about what’s allowed or not. Pregnancy will change many things about a woman’s body and...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss period sex -- is it biblical? is it healthy? why would I want to? are there ways to make it easier? If you both are interested, sex during her period is safe, scriptural, and maybe even beneficial. It just may have to look different than at other times. No, a wife is NOT obligated to perform sexual favors during her period in order to keep he...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the oft quoted Bible passage 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 and whether this scripture gives a spouse the right to demand sex from his/her spouse. Overall, 1 Corinthians 7 teaches that I am obligated to meet the sexual needs of my spouse. But this passage does NOT give me authority to demand sex from my spouse. Demanding or offering sex out of obligat...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the concept of a husband helping with household chores to win sexual favors from his wife, a.k.a. "choreplay." Is this a fun, win-win idea? What are the dangers of this transactional approach to sex? There is certainly some truth in the idea that a wife will be more inclined toward sex if a husband is willing to help with the endl...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share their method of critically assessing the state of their own marital intimacy and some tips on how to have the conversation about setting goals for better connection.  For real progress in your marriage, it’s important to critically evaluate the past and to set goals for the future. A thorough evaluation of your marriage should include assessm...

Send us Fan Mail This episode includes segments of a live Q&A session from a recent seminar held in Columbus, Indiana. Matt & Jenn tackle the following questions: "How do you overcome lack of sexual desire because of physical limitations?" "Are all forms of sex ok? Are any types of sex with my spouse sinful?" "I have been wanting to enhance our sexual connections t...

Send us Fan Mail This episode includes segments of a live Q&A session from a recent seminar held in Columbus, Indiana. Matt & Jenn tackle the following questions: My husband agreed to get a vasectomy over a year ago, but he still hasn't initiated the process. Our contraception methods are unreliable and this is causing a great deal of anxiety.  "How can I let him know we are a te...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge you to "embrace conflict" and offer some ground rules on "fighting fair" in your marriage. Learn to embrace conflict recognizing that conflict is an opportunity to learn more about your spouse. Your job is not to “win” or even eliminate every conflict. Rather your goal is to use conflict to learn to face problems toget...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice for sexual pursuers and responders when giving and receiving sexy gifts.  Consider starting a sexy Christmas tradition. This is a great time to gift your sexual relationship by exchanging sexy presents and/or by making time for a Christmas Eve quickie. If you are a sexual pursuer, be sure that you are primarily considering what is best...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode (#69), Matt and Jenn discuss sex positions (for no obvious reason). Is it important to learn new things in bed? What meanings do different positions have? Couples that have many ways to enjoy each other have insurance against monotony, aging, and health-related sexual challenges. Different sexual styles and positions bring different meanings and points of enjoyment...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how to keep your relationship and your sex life from freezing over during the busy holiday season. Protect your spouse. Make sure they know that you’ve got their back. Approach your extended families with an “us vs. them” mentality. Prioritize your spouse and your relationship. You absolutely MUST make time to continue to connect with your...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share an excerpt from a session of the 2021 Retreat, titled, "Submitting to one another -- do I know what my spouse really needs?" Learn new moves to help transform conflict into opportunities for growth and connection. Real change starts by seeing my spouse more clearly -- empathy. See their circumstances, their struggles and their desir...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn continue last week's discussion about encouraging husbands to be leaders by specifically addressing spiritual leadership in the home. Husbands are given the responsibility of overseeing the spiritual growth of the home and this responsibility is often shirked by many men. Many wives longingly desire to see their husbands grow into a strong spi...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer a listener question from a wife who wants to know how she can encourage her husband to be a better leader and more engaged in the relationship. Sometimes, our disappointment with leadership is because we have unrealistic expectations. However, clearly many husbands are negligent in their role as head of their household. If you are a wife, yo...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn answer a listener question about making eye contact during sex. We'll also discuss ways to use eye contact to enhance emotional and sexual pleasure using eye contact. Eye contact requires vulnerability, but increasing eye contact in your relationship - in and out of the bedroom - can improve emotional and sexual connection. There may be reasons...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share segments from the 2021 Annual Marriage Retreat Q&A session, recorded with a live audience. We tackle topics including sexy hygiene, dealing with aversion to the sex act, overcoming sexual trauma, and how to "keep striving" without pressuring. We also want to recognize our Retreat sponsors again. THANK YOU! Married Dance — marrie...

Send us Fan Mail This episode is an excerpt from a LIVE recording at the 2021 Intimate Covenant Annual Marriage Retreat in Houston, TX. Matt & Jenn field questions about recommendations for sex toys, using Skype sex when couples are apart and how to begin the journey to healing after betrayal by pornography addiction. Thank you to these incredible companies that supported our 2021 Retreat: Mar...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode Matt & Jenn complete their series on overcoming common barriers to sex with discussion about work, travel (physical separation) and separate bedtimes. Learning to identify and eliminate barriers to sex in our relationships requires honest introspection and humility. This process will improve our married sex lives, but also benefit every other aspect of your rel...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss overcoming some more barriers to sex -- health, aging, screens and humor. Learning to identify and eliminate barriers to sex in our relationships requires honest introspection and humility. This process will improve our married sex lives, but also benefit every other aspect of your relationship. Since sex is so much more than joining genitals...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss how to deal with one of the most challenging barriers to sex ...kids.  Daily life often seems to get in the way, creating barriers that hinder our ability to enjoy the sexual connection we would like to have with one another. Have an action plan to combat the barriers that interfere with your sex life! Learn to name your barriers, asking your...