Intimate Covenant Podcast

Send us Fan Mail Warning: We cover necessary and important topics about the marriage relationship and sex. We use frank language without being crude or crass. Our approach is biblical and wholesome, but not intended for singles — especially not for children. We're starting a series to lay the groundwork for reading the Song of Songs with clarity. In this episode we discuss the title, authorsh...

Send us Fan Mail We explore  findings from three recent scientific studies that show how flexible expectations, strong relationships, and emotional meaning shape a lifetime of sexual satisfaction in marriage.  Bouchard KN, Cormier M, Huberman JS, Rosen NO. Sexual script flexibility and sexual well-being in long-term couples. Journal of Sexual Medicine. 2023.  Tavares IM, Rosen NO, Heiman JR, Nobre...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we share a few more segments from our live Q&A at the 2025 Annual Retreat; all of these had to do with the pursuer-responder dynamic. Specifically, we covered questions about: What is God teaching me through the pursuer-responder dynamic? Is compromise the answer to sexual desire discrepancy? What if, despite the sterotype, the husband doesn’t want sex? How sh...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when a room full of couples asks the questions most people are afraid to say out loud? We lean into the hard stuff: purity culture hangovers, what “counts” as sex, how to tell the truth without breaking trust, and how aging bodies can still enjoy rich, connected intimacy. Recorded live at our Intimate Covenant Marriage Retreat, this candid Q&A blends biblical wisd...

Send us Fan Mail Today we’re sharing some excerpts from our live Q&A session during a recent Marriage Day in Illinois. Listen to our responses to questions about: How to find unity of spiritual purpose when we have different passions? As a wife, how do I avoid nagging in my role to be a helpmeet? How can we create a community for porn recovery and support for betrayed spouses? Practically spea...

Send us Fan Mail We trace how Darwin and Freud shaped cultural ideas about sex and how these philosophies have infiltrated even modern religion. Darwin and Freud both rejected a divine order of the universe or a spiritual guide for moral and ethical living. Their influences profoundly shape the course of modern philosophy and our current society. Many modern Christians have unwittingly adopted inf...

Send us Fan Mail Augustine and subsequent Medieval sexual theology have profoundly influenced modern Christian teachings on sexuality, often causing unnecessary shame and restrictions that aren't biblically based. During the Middle Ages, the influence of Augustine, with echoes of Greek philosophy, intensified into even more unnecessarily restrictive laws and unbiblical teachings about sex. Co...

Send us Fan Mail Matt and Jenn explore how ancient Greek philosophy has shaped modern Christian attitudes toward sexuality, creating an unbiblical culture of shame and stigma around sexual desire. • Plato's dualism in the 4th century BC separated body and soul, viewing bodily desires as inferior to spiritual pursuits • Stoicism further emphasized suppression of passions, teaching that sex was...

Send us Fan Mail Matt and Jenn use a cooking analogy to explore how great married sex requires more than just "spices" – it needs solid foundational ingredients of spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical connection. • Adding more spice to bad ingredients doesn't make a dish better; it likely makes it worse. • In struggling marriages, focusing solely on sexual excitement without a...

Send us Fan Mail Warning: We cover necessary and important topics about the marriage relationship and sex. We use frank language without being crude or crass. Our approach is biblical and wholesome, but not intended for singles — especially not for children. Difficult conversations are at the heart of successful marriages, yet many struggle with vulnerability and emotional expression. We explore p...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn tackle the concept of "organic sex" and whether truly spontaneous intimacy is even possible in a long-term marriage. The myth that good sex should just naturally happen without planning or effort has damaged many marriages and created unrealistic expectations. • Sex is natural but not naturally perfect - it requires intentional cultivatio...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share an encore episode about reassessing your expectations for your marriage and moving the trajectory of your relationship through personal investment. Mature past the selfish motivations of relationship and begin to see the true fulfillment of covenant love built on self-sacrifice — in your marriage and in your relationship to God. Instead of as...

Send us Fan Mail In this "Christmas Q&A Potpourri" episode, Matt & Jenn are sharing segments from previous live Q&A sessions. We're answering the following questions: Should I sacrifice my desire for sexual intimacy if my spouse does not desire sex? What are your favorite topics of conversation for rejuvenation and reconnection? How do I handle my spouse being defensive...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer the following listener questions: What advice do you have for couples that have great sex but struggle talking about sex? We’ve tried conversation starters but the answers are always brief. I’m ashamed how much value I place on my spouses physical appearance. Self-improvement is a good virtue, but how do I ensure my motives are not immoral o...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share another set of clips from the Q&A session at our recent Annual Marriage Retreat. We cover the following questions: What ways can I warm my spouse up to more public displays of affection?   Discuss navigating, in different seasons, sexual pursuer/responder roles switching. It's not a smooth transition and can be confusing. What if you...

Send us Fan Mail This episode is an excerpt from the live Q&A session at the 2024 Annual Marriage Retreat. We’re sharing our response to the following question: “Can you go into further detail on how the act of sex can glorify God?” We’re also sharing our responses to questions about sex toys, solo masturbation, modeling a healthy sexual relationship for your kids, and when to talk to your kid...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the complaint, "My spouse never initiates sex." So, whose job is it, anyway? How can I get my spouse to initiate more often? Whether it’s sexual connection or any other aspect of your relationship, if you sense a lack of it in your relationship, it’s up to you to initiate what is missing. If you feel like you are the only one init...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn compare the sexual relationship to a hurricane. Sex, like a hurricane, is a powerful, God-given force. While we can’t direct the path of a hurricane, quiet the gale-force winds, or suppress the rising waters, we do have control over the effects of sex in our own marriages. The forces of a hurricane are mostly destructive. But the power of sexual de...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a listener's email from a wife who is feeling rejected because her husband, the usual sexual pursuer, has stopped initiating. We'll explore some of the reasons this might be happening and what she can do about it. Plus, we give some personal updates and exciting announcements about the future of Intimate Covenant. Sexual pursue...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some of the latest TikTok relationship tests and whether there is something we can learn about our marriages from these viral trends.  If you really want to test your relationship, pick up a mirror rather than a microscope. Only you can change you.  “Turn towards” rather than “turning away” from your spouse by making and receiving bids for...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the resurging popularity of sleeping in separate bedrooms. We'll consider the  reasons why a couple might choose this option and whether it might be wise for your marriage. In addition, we'll discuss some of the consequences of spouses who have separate bedtimes. Every step we take away from our spouses, especially physically, has i...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some experiences from their recent trip to China and some life-changing lessons they are bringing back. We think these lessons will impact your marriage too! It’s easy to lose focus on eternal priorities and purpose. Revisit this conversation with your spouse frequently. Changing your circumstances will not change your marriage. To improve yo...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share excerpts from several different live Q&A sessions recorded at previous live events. - How do you differentiate between responsive sexual desire and a medical problem resulting in a lack of sex drive? - How can I keep striving for spiritual and emotional intimacy when my spouse is reluctant to do so? - How can I overcome shame in my physic...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some important news and updates, including a fun blooper reel. There are multiple ways to help support Xander Moody and his family. GiveSendGo ( https://www.givesendgo.com/supportxander ) - This is a crowdfunding site launched by Xander's baseball team organization.  Blessings Overflow: Mail checks (avoid transaction fees) with “Xander M...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share segments from the live Q&A session at the Tampa Marriage Day on March 2nd, including: How to connect sexually, even during periods of conflict How to learn contentment when I desire a certain sex act, but my spouse doesn’t How to avoid complacency when things seem “good” How to navigate different preferences for sexual frequency How to en...