Intimate Covenant Podcast

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share a recorded portion from the Q&A session at the Marriage Day in Bowling Green, KY on August 27. We covered topics like: Surviving Kids Scheduling Sex, #trashnight Afterglow Lost attraction Challenges of aging, childbirth, and other hormone changes Inviting pursuit after long-term rejection To purchase the full video series AWAKEN!-- explor...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how to shift your mindset toward healthy growth in your marriage. My attitude towards the challenges, conflicts, and obstacles in my relationship will determine the depth of fulfillment and connection that I can attain in my marriage. A fixed mindset limits my potential by focusing on fear, shame, and pride.  A growth mindset pursues a deep...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice about how to use quickie sex to improve your sexual relationship. Not every sexual experience has to require the same level of energy and preparation. Define the types of sex that you are having in your marriage. A quickie is a great way to maintain sexual connection even when you or your spouse don’t have the time and energy for somet...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn talk about the importance of direct and vulnerable communication for sexual pursuers. Sexual pursuers often struggle to be direct enough to express their sexual desires and expectations in a way that is clearly understood, but not pressuring. Sexual responders may find it difficult to lean into uncomfortable conversations. The most intimate and mut...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer an email from a wife questioning whether she should be "dressing up" in a provocative way for her husband. The suggestion from a sexual pursuer to dress in provocative way often meets resistance from a sexual responder. But, the conflict is often much deeper than just style or fashion differences. A sexual responder must be willing...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some thoughts about what it means to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. We hope you are encouraged and inspired by this conversation. Some things you should be aware of: Dating Divas Marriage Bundle 2022 -- For more information and to get our unique discount:  www.intimatecovenant.com/marriage-bundle Balancing the Christian Life Digital...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn encourage a more careful and biblical approach to how we teach our girls about "modesty" and how to dress.  For centuries, women have been taught that they must diligently cover their bodies in order to prevent men from sinning. But is this idea even found in Scripture? Is this the message of “modesty” passages?  Teaching women to shamefu...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the popular advice that Christian men ought to "bounce their eyes" to avoid lusting after women. A popular method of dealing with the problem of lust is to teach men to “bounce their eyes” and avoid any possible exposure to sexual stimuli. But is this helpful advice, or even scriptural? Rather than avoiding women or suggesting tha...

Send us Fan Mail In this milestone episode (number 100!!!), Matt & Jenn discuss how to maintain a vibrant and growing sex life even into old age. We're sharing opinions, perspectives, and advice from some older couples whom we respect, admire, and love. You should absolutely expect that you can have a vibrant and growing sexual relationship for as long as you are alive and married. When w...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss how to add prayer to your sex life. Both prayer and sex can feel awkward because, if done right, each require vulnerability.  But prayer is a powerful way to build intimacy and, therefore, passion in your marriage and your marriage bed. Consider adding regular prayer for your sexual relationship and during your sex for deeper spiritual and se...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss below-the-belt grooming and hygiene -- pros, cons and reasons why you (or your spouse) might want to do it. Genital grooming and hygiene can be a sensitive topic of conversation because it may trigger feelings of deep shame or rejection. There are many benefits of genital grooming and hygiene including improved experiences giving and receiv...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the challenges when your spouse is OK with being just OK. We describe our personal journey toward growing together and some principles to guide your breakthrough toward deeper intimacy. Every marriage has gridlock issues where one spouse is quite content to maintain status quo and the other spouse desires growth and novelty. Fear is the fun...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice and encouragement for sexual responders to learn to initiate sex sometimes. It can be a daunting proposition for a sexual responder to initiate a sexual gift for their pursuer spouse. Their anxiety can come from a number of places including a fear of their own sexuality, fear of their spouse’s sexuality, or a general fear of being inad...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn offer advice to a listener about talking to children about the awkward topic of masturbation.  Understandably, as parents, it is confusing and challenging for us to know how to guide our kids when it comes to teaching them about their sexuality and, specifically, about masturbation.  To be clear, the Bible does not speak specifically about solo mastu...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn offer advice to a wife (and the rest of us) who is suffering from performance anxiety in the bedroom and having a hard time letting go of her embarrassment and awkwardness. Private, selfish masturbation habits, even those that started before marriage, will have a negative impact on your married sex life. It might be time for you to acknowledge and co...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn consider a question from a husband whose wife desires more "non-sexual touch." What's the difference between sexual and non-sexual touch? Is there a difference between sexual and non-sexual touch? Why might this wife be asking for this? When considering conflict in your relationship, understand that there are always two layers: the fir...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share a live Q&A session from our recent seminar in Tampa, FL. We covered questions like: Is masturbation OK? How do I handle when I get distracted or lose my momentum during sex? How do we compromise if my spouse doesn't want to do a specific sexual activity? Dealing with lack of sexual performance What if intercourse if painful? How do w...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer a handful of mailbag questions about sex and spirituality. You can change the culture of fear and shame surrounding sex in your own corner of God’s Kingdom. Start by reshaping your understanding of your own sexuality through the lens of God’s word. Then, use your influence in your community to spread God’s word about holy sexuality and intim...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer listener questions about some of the nuances of the sexual pursuer/responder dynamic. In all marriages there is a sexual pursuer and a sexual responder. But these roles are not static. In various circumstances and seasons these roles may change in your relationship One example is when a pusher is constantly rejected. It is common for this pu...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the power of sexual fantasy and how to harness this magic for more powerful sex and deeper connection. Fantasy is a story you tell yourself to tap into emotional and sexual arousal. It’s how you choose to be present in your sexual relationship. It’s how you awaken your body to seek and to receive connection. Effective fantasy is dwelling on...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss factors and tips to improve the sensation, the strength, and the frequency of orgasm -- especially for wives. Orgasm, while not the goal of sex, is an intensely pleasurable point of connection and may be elusive for some, especially wives. Changing the sensation or strengthening the intensity of orgasm can add novelty and improve sexual pleas...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn help us understand the details of orgasm -- including gender physiology differences, health and relational benefits, spiritual parallels and the overall purpose for orgasm. Orgasm, while not the goal of sex, is an intensely pleasurable point of connection with a multitude of relational, emotional, and physical health benefits. There are a number of...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the the "orgasm gap." What is the orgasm gap? Does it exist in your marriage? Is the orgasm gap a problem? The “orgasm gap” refers to the fact that men tend to orgasm with sex at much higher frequency than women. The significance of the orgasm gap in your marriage depends on many factors and may or may not be problem for your rela...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share recorded excerpts from the live Q&A session at our recent Louisville, KY seminar (shout out to all of our new friends!!!) We covered topics such as: I have unwanted sexual thoughts and memories when I try to orgasm? What do I do with these fantasies? My bids for connection are unnoticed and ignored. How can I get my spouse to acknowledge...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss anal sex in marriage -- is it biblical? what are the benefits? risks? and motivations? The bible does not specifically promote nor prohibit anal sex or anal play by a married couple. Anal play, including prostate massage, may be enjoyable for some. While some do, most women do not enjoy anal intercourse which carries significant risk. As with...