Intimate Covenant Podcast

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the pitfalls of expecting our spouse to be a mind-reader and how to avoid the fight over sexual rejection. Neither of you is a mind-reader. Each must be clear about sexual desires and expectations. Foster intimate conversation on all levels in your relationship. Sexual rejection doesn’t have to result in a fight. Grace, empathy, and compassio...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn recommend sparking some fun and romance in your marriage by flirting! Flirting with your spouse is important to your relationship because it reinforces your commitment to one another in a playful, fun, and romantic way. Flirting lets your spouse know that they are special to you and worth the extra effort. Take some time to consider how you can rei...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the importance of creating a master bedroom that is a haven for you and your beloved. Also, we'll share crucial details to consider when choosing the best mattress for sex. Prioritize your master bedroom. It should be a place of solace and escape with your beloved. Invest the time and effort into making it just that! Your bedroom is yo...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the special way that wives are asked to be submissive to their husbands. Specifically, we consider what this looks like in the sexual relationship. Like we talked about last week, all are to be “submissive to one another,” yet, there is a special way in which wives are to be submissive to their husbands. Submission must be defined and pract...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss what it means for a husband to be "head of the wife." And, how does this concept extend to the bedroom? Before attempting to understand headship, I must first recognize my obligation to submit to all. Mutual submission is essential to every human relationship and crucially important between a husband and wife. Headship is defined...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how a wife can learn to balance her roles as both caregiver (Mom Mode) and lover (Lover Girl). Most wives struggle to find balance between their roles as a caregiver and lover. But, a wife can learn to be both, at the same time. Wives can access “Lover-Girl” more easily when they begin actively looking for sexual cues, learn to harness thei...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge you to bring your heart, soul, strength, and mind to the marriage bed. Plus, get a sneak peak at the theme and topics for the 2021 Marriage Retreat! The focus of the 2021 Intimate Covenant Retreat is to renew our view of marriage as a spiritual endeavor and elevate our purpose beyond the day-to-day obligations of running a household.  Sex...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how the betrayer can help in healing and restoration of the relationship. If you have betrayed your spouse, you must humbly demonstrate that you feel the pain you have caused AND be willing to drastically change your behavior because of it.  Rebuilding a relationship after betrayal will require time and vulnerability on the part of the betr...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some research and statistics about how normal couples have sex. Most married couples have sex between twice a month to twice a week, depending on which data you look at. Sexual frequency does decline with age, but older couples still have fairly frequent sex. Nearly all couples have intercourse. Many also engage in oral sex and partnered ma...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss moving past the pain of betrayal towards restoration and healing in your marriage. The first step to overcoming betrayal is to admit your feelings of hurt, anger, resentment or grief and confront your spouse with your feelings. Talk about it in the right way and in the right setting. Know when you need help. Believe in the power of healing...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge and encourage us to put in the hard work necessary to grow and expand our sexual relationship. Believing that great sex just occurs spontaneously and effortlessly is actually preventing us from achieving good sex. Great sex, like any other mastery, is the product of consistent, intentional work over time. Take responsibility for your part...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn consider guidelines that honor God and our spouses when talking to our friends about sex. It is important for God’s people to be talking about sex in a positive and holy way. There is power in a community of believers sharing the beauty of God’s plan. But, sharing intimate details about your personal sex life with anyone other than your spouse is a...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some of their favorite marriage and sex book recommendations. Find good resources that encourage your marriage and share these with you spouse. If you have trouble in your marriage, seek help from those capable of helping — spiritual mentors, church elders, and professional therapists. If you are a leader, especially in your local congregatio...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer questions about using private masturbation as a way to help deal with sexual desire and arousal differences between spouses. Any two individuals in a marriage will be quite different when it comes to sexual desire and motivations for sex. Our challenge is to recognize these differences and turn toward each other with empathy, humility, and s...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn tackle a listener's email question, "Should we tell our kids about the sexual sins of our past? How much should we share?" Talking to your kids about sex must be an ongoing conversation so that they feel comfortable about the topic and that they see you as experts for sex and relationship advice. Sharing your failings with your kids...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn share their personal struggles with marriage and sex. You won't want to miss this touching and vulnerable episode. We want you to know that you’re not alone. We know brokenness. But we also know redemption, restoration and unity through the power of the gospel and God’s plan for marriage and sex. We’re here to share that with you and to build...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge you to carefully evaluate whether your sex routines are really the best way to promote connection. Every couple has a sexual routine or script that they follow for most sexual encounters. But is your routine promoting the best sex and most connection for your marriage? Start by busting the myth that sex starts with intercourse and ends wi...

Send us Fan Mail In this final episode in the series on Date Night, Matt & Jenn give advice on how to transition the energy from Date Night into the bedroom. Date Night is critical for the spiritual, emotional, romantic, and sexual health of your relationship. Make it a priority in your marriage! How you do Date Night is also critical to maximizing the benefit to your marriage and promoting on...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn continue the discussion about Date Night by offering  5 tips to make for a great date night. Date Night is critical for the spiritual, emotional, romantic, and sexual health of your relationship. Make it a priority in your marriage! How you do Date Night is also critical to maximizing the benefit to your marriage and promoting oneness. Here’s 5 tip...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn begin a series devoted to Date Night - one of their favorite topics.  Date Night is critical for the spiritual, emotional, romantic, and sexual health of your relationship. Make it a priority in your marriage. Date night should be about building connection, not just for your entertainment. Prioritize Date Night by scheduling and planning ahead. Put...

Send us Fan Mail Matt & Jenn continue the discussion challenging wives to consider why they might be resistant to hot, holy sex in their marriage bed. A wife may be resistant to sex because she is morally conflicted or is carrying shame from sexual sin or trauma. The answer is to allow your mind, body, heart and soul to be transformed by the blood of Jesus. Get the help that you need from God’...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn begin a discussion challenging wives' reasons for avoiding sex. There are many good reasons that a wife may be resistant to sex in her marriage. But, a wife must recognize that the quality of your sex life will impact the quality of the rest of your marriage, and vice versa. If you are saying no to sex because you are emotionally disconnected,...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss reasons why a husband's sexual invitations may be rejected and what that might teach us about ourselves and our relationship. Before protesting that you are being unfairly rejected, ask yourself, “Would I want to have sex with someone like me?” Have I met my wife’s needs before expecting her to meet mine? Have I made it easy for her to...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the differences in how we access and express sexual desire. How do we handle it when one spouse seemingly wants sex more than the other? In general, a man’s sexual desire is like a microwave (spontaneous) and a woman’s sexual desire is like a crockpot (responsive). Neither is right or wrong and neither is better or worse. Empathize with your...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Matt & Jenn  discuss principles to guide the difficult conversation with your spouse about your sinful sexual history. Healing begins with confession (James 5:16). If you want true intimacy, you must reveal yourself. Your intimacy is only as deep as your honesty. Use great discretion about what facts or details you share with each other. This process is often...