Hops and Box Office Flops

Necessary Roughness  is very much just Major League on the gridiron, featuring a ragtag group of footballers who must rise to the occasion in the face of great adversity. And it's 100% a 90s gem. Necessary Roughness is sort of the sequel to The Program we never got. In it, the Texas State Armadillos are mired in scandals. As a result, their team has all had their scholarships revoked, leaving the...

Written by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Tony Scott,  True Romance  is everything we love about the lawless ass 90s. It's unapologetically profane and violent, more than a bit dated, but also utterly rewatchable. This is due in large part to its incredible cast. From Gary Oldman as Rastafarian pimp Drexl, to a pre-Sopranos James Gandolfini as mafia heavy Virgil, to Brad Pitt as stoner Floyd, t...

Jason X  was probably ahead of its time. In that, it deviates from the series traditionally serious horror roots, replacing traditional scares with unchecked campiness. When it was released in 2001, people were not pleased. Critics didn't know what to make of it either, slicing it down to a paltry 19% on Rotten Tomatoes. With a $14 million budget, a series high at the time, its $17.1 million gross...

Critters 4 is was the second film in the franchise to go straight to video. And it continued the trend of shrinking the scale of the story being told. Like Critters 3, which was set in an apartment building, Critters 4 confines its characters to a claustrophobic space station and gives them very few Crites to deal with. There are literally only two titular Critters in the movie. That feisty alien...

Leprechaun 4 : In Space is about as low budget as a horror movie sequel can get. Released straight to video in 1997 and produced for a whopping $3 million, it gives most local theater productions a run for their money in terms of set design and costumes. But, should we really expect anything else? Leprechaun 4 is the second of the sequels to be banished directly to video store shelves, and it furt...

Hellraiser IV: Bloodline is a typical late 80s/early 90s horror sequel; as in, it's a cash grab. Sure, it takes Pinhead and his Cenobite minions to space (sort of), but it has nothing truly unique to offer to the series' lore. And the space element, which was so popular amongst fledgling horror franchises that we're dedicating an entire month to it, isn't even present the majority of the film. Hel...

Death to Smoochy is a black comedy about the ills of child television programming and its clear exploitation of kids for monetary gain. The concept is ripe for the picking. Sadly, Death to Smoochy's execution of it is lacking. Neither funny, nor particularly compelling, its a movie devoid of all the essential ingredients of a good comedy. The characters—played at least with enthusiasm by Robin Wil...

47 Ronin is a Hollywood-sized retelling of a famous Japanese legend. It's full of mystical CGI beasts and absurd witchcraft. Why? Who the hell really knows, but apparently the executives wanted something in the vein of the Hobbit movies. Yes, a recurring theme on this pod is that too often the people running the studio let their bad ideas seep into the product. 47 Ronin did not need a monstrous bu...

Disney's Prince of Persia was a bold endeavor. With a $185 million price tag, it shattered the ceiling for video game adaptation budgets. The House of Mouse made a bet, and it was a big one. Unfortunately, it was also a bad one. The Prince of Persia franchise is popular, but general audiences have rarely flocked to movies based on games. Thus, despite it being the most successful of the bunch—gros...

Gangster Squad  never equals the sum of its parts. Featuring a stacked cast—Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, and Emma Stone, to name a few—it's never more than a middling mob flick. And that's a problem. Why? Well, there are dozens of films in this genre, many of which capitalize on their premise far more than this does. Gangster Squad is essentially a 21st Century Untouchables without any of...

Prey reignites the Predator franchise in the best ways possible. It's more contained—focusing on the story and characters, rather than feeling the need to go bigger. It's the hit the series desperately needed. After a slew of middling to outright mediocre sequels (and sidequels), Prey optimizes the formula for the alien hunter's antics. It takes the creature back in time—the northwest plains in 17...

Predators  is the ideal set up for a sequel to the 1987 original. It includes a cast of eclectic mercenaries being pursued by the titular create. Only this time, there are three of them, and it's on their home turf. Yes, Predators takes us back to lush jungles, which, honestly, are a much more interesting backdrop for the hunt than either LA or a small town. Yet, the setting is not the only good i...

Fans of the franchise, like us, now doubt had high hopes for Shane Black's The Predator . Black, who'd appeared in the original as Hawkins and even served as a script doctor on set, is a legend of action movie scriptwriting. The Predator, unfortunately, fails in almost every way. The humor is overwritten and overstuffed; the characters are thin and generally unlikeable; the plot makes no sense; an...

Predator 2  isn't a bad movie; it's just a disappointing one. That's mainly because it pales in comparison to its predecessor, failing to up the ante in any meaningful way. Sure, there is more gore and curse words, but the narrative is a mess. Predator 2 is just an amalgamation of better movies from the genre with the adversarial alien added to the mix. That works just enough for it not to be a to...

The Alamo , directed by John Lee Hancock, is a historical look at the tragic storming of the mission turned fort in 1836 Texas. Though the film boasts incredible sets, well shot historical action, and a wonderful ensemble, it was a box office dud. In fact, it is one of the biggest bombs in history, losing an estimated $146 million. That's nearly 10 Louisiana Purchases. Critics didn't help its pros...

Ridley Scott's   The Last Duel depicts the final trial by combat in 14th Century France. The titular duel involved Knight Jean de Carrouges (Matt Damon) and Squire Jacques le Gris (Adam Driver), battling over le Gris' alleged rape of Carrouges' wife Marguerite (Jodie Comer). Yes, folks, this is a heavy movie, but it is also a very good one. The sets, the costumes, the acting—which includes a wonde...

Almost Heroes  is the final leading role of comedy legend Chris Farley. Five months prior to its release, he tragically died of an overdose. With that dark cloud hanging over the film, it's not altogether surprising it suffered at the box office. On a budget of $30 million, it grossed just $6.1 million. Its 5% rating on Rotten Tomatoes probably didn't help either. For fans of Farley's work, though...

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword is a dramatic reimagining of the Arthurian legend. It is also evokes much of its director's hallmark traits. This is Guy Ritchie's take on King Arthur, for better and for worse. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword was a gamble. Budgeted at $175 million and with five sequels planned, WB had franchise desires in mind for it. With that much at stake, it's odd they would...

Dracula Dead and Loving It is a typical Mel Brooks movie. It's a spoof of Bram Stoker's Dracula that's light on plot, but full of goofy gags and childish humor. Unfortunately, it lacks the biting wit of most Brooks films. Despite the unending charms of comedy legend Leslie Nielsen, who portrays the titular Count, too many of the jokes simply do not land. Critics tend to agree. At 11% on Rotten Tom...

Morbius  is perhaps the most needless comic book movie ever made. Centered around a D-level Spider-Man villain, it lacks several crucial ingredients. First and foremost, Spider-Man is not in Morbius. In fact, contrary to what the trailers will have you believe, he's barely even mentioned. Thus, it's just a film about an anti-hero who's uninteresting. That would be fine if the plot, script, acting,...

Vampire in Brooklyn is the antithesis of funny. Worse, it's not at all scary either. When assessing who was involved in its production, neither of those statements should be true. Directed by horror master Wes Craven and principally written by Eddie Murphy (the film's star), the pedigree was there for it to be a comedic-scare fest. Instead, it's a muddled and confused mess that too often borders o...

Gallow Walkers  is wild west Blade, only if Blade was terrible and went straight to DVD. With a $17 million budget, that probably wasn't the plan. But, shit happens and Gallow Walkers is indeed that unsavory term. It's sort of a shame because the movie isn't devoid of interesting ideas. It just executes them poorly, is stuffed with an insane amount of backstory for a 90-minute film, and boasts cos...

The Sorcerer's Apprentice  is an ode to Disney's 1940 film Fantasia. Born from an idea Nicolas Cage had, it builds an entire mythos from that brief section of the aforementioned film. Balthazar Blake, Cage, is a sorcerer searching for the rightful heir to Merlin—his former master. He was given a ring by the legendary wizard as he lie dying. That ring will signal the chosen one, who happens to be a...

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent is an absolute joy bomb for fans of Nicolas Cage. Playing a fictionalized version of himself, Cage delivers a top-tier performance. It should remind everyone that, to summarize his character in the film, he never really went anywhere. This is as thoughtful and well written an ode to the long, winding career of Cage could be. He's able to channel his younger...

Mandy is an absolutely bonkers, psychedelic acid trip loaded with blood, violence, and raw nerve. It's a tragic film—one where a man witnesses his beloved be burned alive by a religious cult. This action, of course, leaves him no other option than revenge. The brutality, though visually striking, is only a small portion of the movie's brilliance. Directed by Panos Cosmatos—son of famed director Ge...