Hops and Box Office Flops

Real Genius  was Val Kilmer's second big screen appearance. His first,  Top Secret! , we also covered on this podcast. Like that one, Real Genius is a tremendous showcase for his immense acting talents. This is a truly great 80s comedy, propelled by the infinite charisma of Kilmer as brilliant slacker Chris Knight. It doesn't hurt that William Atherton plays his despicable foil Professor Jerry Hat...

2024's  Road House  is surprisingly watchable, even if it pales in comparison to the original. Jake Gyllenhaal does a serviceable job as Elwood Dalton—the bouncer with a penchant for violence but a heart of gold. And the general premise of a man who busts up bar fights for a living is still wildly entertaining. Where this one stumbles is the odd use of CGI to make the fights appear more "brutal."...

The Crow for a long time was considered a property that was untouchable. The tragedy of Brandon Lee's passing during the making of the 1994 film immortalized his portrayal for fans. Although there was zero interest in the property being formally rebooted—there were three sequels and a TV show—the studio soldiered on. They even ignored all the signs that it probably wasn't meant to be. The Crow's p...

2012's Total Recall lacks the bizarre charm of Paul Verhoeven's 1990 film. Substituting Mars for dystopian earth, the movie ultimately feels like just any other action movie. Whereas the 1990 version was full of oddities, one-liners, and gore galore, this Total Recall is just a bland, PG-13 wannabe. What it lacks in personality and style, though, it does make up for with a few kinetic action scene...

The 2015 remake of Point Break is all style and no substance. It's an extreme sports highlight video that flourishes when the stunts are on display, but fizzles whenever the cast has to act. Ultimately, there is just too much going on, and as we bound from place to place and stunt to stunt, very little in the way of plot or character depth is ever established. Sure, having the radical Robin Hoods...

Captain America: Brave New World carries on the distressing trend of underachieving and subpar MCU movies. Worse, like much of Phase 4 and 5, there still seems to be no clear direction for what is coming next or why. Brave New World is not a terrible film, but it is one that is clearly stitched together. Plagued by behind-the-scenes drama and frequent reshoots, the whole is clearly made from dispa...

When Tremors was released in 1990, Kevin Bacon—who starred as Valentine McKee—thought it would kill his career. Like all great cult classics, though, Tremors has come to be one of the actor's most beloved films. And that's not a mistake. Tremors is a ton of fun. With an interesting new creature that burrows under the surface and terrorizes a small town, it does exactly what a monster movie should...

Army of Darkness, the finale of Sam Raimi's iconic Evil Dead series, is truly a cult classic. A minor departure from the series more comedic/horror roots, it is a film that revels in its absurdity, taking the protagonist, Ash, back through time to the 14th century. Though it is goofier, it is no less fun than the first two. And its one-liners—frequent throughout—remain infinitely quotable to this...

Empire Records poses the important question: What do a bunch of pre-20s slackers do at work all day? Well, they have random sex with has been celebrities, eat weed brownies, argue over mundane things, and thoroughly explore the existential crises they're all experiencing. To no one's surprise, very little work is actually done amidst all the melodrama. Now, that may not sound all that great, but E...

Based on a William Gibson story of the same name, Johnny Mnemonic centers on the titular data courier as he embarks on his latest assignment, transporting 320 gigabytes of corporate secrets. That intel is quite sensitive, and its owner, Pharmakom, will stop at nothing to get it back, employing the Yakuza to track down Johnny. Like most of Gibson's work, the world in which Johnny lives is a cyberpu...

Transformers: The Last Knight is the fifth film directed by Michael Bay about the storied toy line. The prior four were of varying quality, but The Last Knight stands out as by far the worst. A convoluted mess, it rewrites the legend of King Arthur, infusing the Autobots into the tale. This, of course, leads to a whole bunch of other nonsense, including Merlin's magical staff being of Cybertron or...

The Last Jedi , despite being a massive financial success, has been highly divisive since its release in December 2017. Sure, there are those who love and defend it, especially for its willingness to subvert expectations. Its detractors, though, often cite The Last Jedi's nonsensical plot and less than favorable depiction of beloved Star Wars hero Luke Skywalker for why they hate it. The pod tends...

By feeling more like optional homework than obligatory viewing, The Marvels falls into a familiar trap of the Phase 4 and 5 MCU films. And it fails to up the ante for its main heroine from her first solo outing. There is certainly more to juggle here—adding in both Ms. Marvel and Monica Rambeau—but The Marvels fails to find the right balance. The titular three are charming and have decent chemistr...

In 2019, Todd Phillips' Joker, though divisive, received heaps of praise and a box office shattering $1 billion+ take. Joker: Folie à Deux , however, received none of that acclaim or success. That is for good reason. Joker: Folie à Deux is a meandering mess of a film — one that features impromptu musical segments. Those songs, shockingly, are not at all the issue. Instead of carrying on Arthur Fle...

Kraven The Hunter, Marvel's most dangerous huntsman, has always been linked with perhaps their most famed hero, Spider-Man. Yet, for his big screen debut, there is a distinct lack of the web-head. Yes, folks, this is another of Sony's moronic attempts to build a shared universe out of the wall crawlers villains. And, like all those that came before it— Madame Web , Morbius , and the trilogy of Ven...

Red One is a big budget Christmas action film with an array of stars to make it shine; it is also a mindless hunk of studio schlock. In it, Santa Claus has been kidnapped by a malevolent holiday witch. It is up to the Rock's Callum Drift (yes, that is his name) to get him back in time for the big day. What follows is a paint-by-numbers blockbuster that is crammed with enough CGI and bad one-liners...

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire  directly proceeds the events of 2021's Afterlife, following the Spengler gang as they begin their exploits in the Big Apple. Wider in scope and scale than its predecessor, Frozen Empire features plenty of ghoulish fun for fans of the franchise. However, it's also poorly paced and overstuffed with characters and sub-plots—some of which work far better than others. That...

Based on a 1980s television show of the same name, The Fall Guy seemed to be on course to be the summer season’s first hit. Screening more than a month before its release at South by Southwest, the buzz (reviews included) for the Ryan Gosling/Emily Blunt film was strong. And with Gosling—who plays the titular character Colt Seavers—coming off of Barbie, his movie star bonafides had never been stro...

Borderlands is yet another vapid video game adaptation that fails to capture what made the games it's based on so great—a colorful explosion full of nonsensical plot points and weak action. Not surprisingly, it couldn't ignite the box office or earn the adoration of fans and critics. Now, sit back, fuel your anarchy with a Oberon Eclipse from Bell's Brewery, and roll up the damn windows! The Thund...

Loosely based on the daring exploits of a ragtag group of soldiers during World War II, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is a tale of heroism with a Guy Ritchie spin. The film chronicles Operation Postmaster—in which a battalion led by Gus March-Phillips (Henry Cavill) is sent on an off the books mission to disrupt, ideally destroy, the Nazis U-Boat resupply operation. March-Phillips, played...

Sting is a nasty little creature feature that came and went to little notice. Released on under 1,000 screens, this tale of a cosmic spider running amok is sure to make the hairs of any arachnophobe stand up. It's lean; it's mean; and it's got enough gross gore to unsettle even the least squeamish of us. It's like Alien—if the Xenomorph was an eight-legged freak who enjoyed dining on birds, babies...

Oddity , a small Irish film, is one of the better horror movies of 2024. It centers on Darcy, whose twin sister Dani was brutally murdered alone in the remote house she was renovating with her husband. Darcy, who is blind, is a medium. When she touches an object, she can peer into its experiences. She, still unsure of what truly happened to her sister, takes it upon herself to unravel the mystery...

In a Violent Nature is an art house version of Friday the 13th. It's minimalist, lacking a score, and generally follows the killer Johnny around as he tromps through the woods. It's an interesting twist on the classic slasher formula, but its style certainly won't be for everyone. That said, In a Violent Nature deserves credit for daring to be distinct in a genre full of tropes and clones. That al...

Terrifier 2  ups the ante of the first film in nearly every way. It is brutal, shocking, and repugnant. Despite that, it is hard not to appreciate the practical effect work of Damien Leone—the film's writer, director, editor, and producer. This is a carnival of splatter. And Art the Clown, the principal antagonist of the Terrifier franchise, is quite creepy. Where the movie fails is in creating a...

Rebel Moon – Part Two Director's Cut: Curse of Forgiveness is the ultimate payoff to our team of rebels coming together. Essentially, it all culminates in one massive battle scene, where each of our heroes gets their due. It is a visual feast of explosions, violence, and destruction. And, quite frankly, it is awesome. In the PG-13 cut, The Scargiver, the majority of the battle scenes were in tact;...