Handing the Shame Back

Body Boundaries This is linked to Cathy Studer's interviews held earlier this week, and listed on the channel. Because of the sexual abuse we endured, our boundaries were shattered, which can leave us with issues around this when people want to touch us. Someone may want to give you a kiss or hug, and if you don't feel comfortable, its ok for you to step away, or say 'I'm not a...

Meet Cathy Studer Award winning author and CSA Prevention advocate. Between the ages of 6 - 12 Cathy was abused by stepfather tricked her into believing her mum knew but didn't care. When she was 12, a note was found which changed everything. She was instantly believed by her mother and removed from the situation that night . She believes that gratitude and self compassion helped her enormous...

Meet Cathy Studer Award winning author and CSA Prevention advocate. Between the ages of 6 - 12 Cathy was abused by stepfather who told her her mum knew, but did not want to discuss it with her. He also made her write what he was doing to her from the age of 10, and the abuse finally stopped once her mother found the notebook when she was 12.  You can find her books and reach Cathy at www.cathystud...

Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. This week on our YT Channel is Cathy Studer, who  from 6 - 12 was abused by stepfather who told her her mum knew -but didn't want to talk about it.  He also made her write what he was doing to her from the age of 10, and the abuse finally stopped once her mother found the notebook when she was 12.  The associated  survivor tip is on...

Validation This is linked to Frank Rogers interviews held earlier this week, and listed on the channel. We need validation because, as survivors,  we have been shut down and disbelieved.  Validation helps honour who we are and supports our truth.  We can find this through movies, documentaries, listening to other survivors, and podcasts. Anything that supports you is considered to be validation. G...

Meet Frank Rogers Survivor. Teacher. Author. Frank experienced intergenerational abuse in several ways: he was sexually abused by his mother from infancy throughout his childhood and raped by his step grandfather twice. He was also abused by a priest at 7 years old, who wanted to play sex games.  He lost his sister to suicide because she couldn’t cope with her own abuse memories.  He has done lots...

Meet Frank Rogers Survivor. Teacher. Author. Frank experienced intergenerational abuse in several ways: he was sexually abused by his mother from infancy throughout his childhood and raped by his step grandfather twice. He was also abused by a priest qt 7 years old, who wanted to play sex games. He suppressed it all till his son was born, then just erupted when he saw his mother touching his son....

Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. This week on our YT Channel is the amazing Frank Rogers who was abused by mother from birth,  abused by grandfather a few times throughout his childhood, and then asked to play sex games by a catholic priest at age 7. The associated  survivor tip is on validation and can be found on all our social media platforms @handingtheshameback as w...

Having Someone If you're reading this - that someone is probably you. Please know how important you actually are. Let me explain: Because the abuse occurred in secrecy and silence and they were alone, this meant they were isolated and couldn't share, they were too scared.  Having you means they now can. Be available so you can hear what is uppermost in their minds, and gently support the...

Survivors,  Having someone who stands by you and supports you is gold. The feeling it evokes when that person has your back, is almost indescribable.  For some of us it happens easily, for others it can take us years to find that right person, because of the trust. Trust is huge for us - trusting anyone will be an issue, breaking that silence is difficult, as it is so much more than just words; it...

Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. This week on our YT Channel is my blog on Having Someone. This is so important for us as survivors - support, not being the least of it. We also have tips for supporting survivors for those who support survivors, Don't miss this!. These can all be found on our website and all other social media platforms including YouTube,  handingth...

Grooming As adult survivors, did you know we could still be carrying remnants of that into adult lives today? We were groomed through threats, bribery and treats, and could still be feeling responsible or guilty for what they did to us, today! Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.ha...

Meet April Giauque Ghostwriter. Author. Podcaster. She was abused the summer she was 7 by a senior in high school. To deal with the trauma she worked at being pleasing, a perfectionist and quality performer in all things. Eventually she realised these became the poison she would swallow. She also learned that self forgiveness is not 'one and done.' Find her on: https://www.facebook.com/a...

Meet April Giauque Ghostwriter. Author. Podcaster. She was abused the summer she was 7 by a senior in high school. The manipulation and grooming was calculated and effective, he knew exactly who he was targeting.  She feels her father, her writing and her light have really helped her to heal. You can find April on https://www.facebook.com/april.giauque https://www.facebook.com/apriltribegiauqueaut...

Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. This week on our YT Channel is survivor April Giauque. She was abused one summer by a senior from high school. The manipulation and grooming was calculated and effective. He knew exactly who he was targeting.. Grooming is our survivor tip for the week and can be found on our website and all other social media platforms: handingtheshamebac...

Having Someone Is crucial for us as survivors.  What started our abuse was the secrecy, silence and shame. It was hidden as was our voice. Having someone, among other things helps us to vocalise and share our experiences in safe settings with support from people who love us. (Among other things) Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for c...

Meet Angela Williams - Part 2 Survivor. Advocate. Author. 00:52 Angela's Story continued 05.39 A Hot mess 11.49 No Adults helped her 20:52 Summary She was abused by her stepfather from age 3 - 17, and at times tortured. Her mother did not help. She considers what helped her recovery and healing from this abuse, was her resilience, and that survivors unwittingly have so much of this. You can r...

Meet Angela Williams - Part 1 Survivor. Advocate. Author. 01:05 Angela's Story 07.09 Child Humiliation 14.24 Snapped at 16 23:11 Summary She was abused by her stepfather from age 3 - 17, and the physical, sexual and emotional abuse she experienced, makes it miraculous she survived. She considers what helped her recovery and healing from this abuse, was her resilience, the support of her husba...

Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. This week on our YT Channel our survivor is Angela Williams She was abused by her stepfather from age 3 - 17, how she survived and what she experienced was a nightmare beyond all proportions. Eventually, Having someone helped her recover and heal. That becomes our survivor tip for the week and can be found on our website and all other soc...

Repressed memories This is a very common for us as survivors.  It simply means the mind buried what happened, because the events were too traumatic for us to deal with at the time,  in other words the mind was trying to protect us. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingthesham...

Meet Gigi Kilroe Part 2 Survivor. Advocate. Author and Speaker.   Quick recap:  Gigi was abused by  her half brother 13 years older than her from the age of 4, while her mother lay dying of cancer in the bedroom next door.  You wont want to miss her remarkable story.  You can reach out to Gigi on  https://www.facebook.com/gigi.kilroe?mibextid=9R9pXO Her book is called From Within: My Path of Hope...

Meet Gigi Kilroe Survivor. Advocate. Author and Speaker.  For ease of viewing go to: 01:22 Gigi's Story  07.11 The photo revealing all  14.34 Noticing children the age you were abused Gigi was 4 years old when her half brother 13 years older began abusing her while her mother lay in the bedroom dying of cancer. You wont want to miss her remarkable story. You can reach out to Gigi on  https://...

Weekly updates on the channel delivered fresh to your door. Survivor Interviews are published on the channel each week. All Survivor tips, blogs and Tips for Supporting survivors are on all our other social media platforms and our website handingtheshameback.org we are on: FB, IG, Twitter, TikTok and LinkedIn. #handingtheshameback  #handsign4kids  #survivors  We are on all social media platforms:...

Survivors and self sabotage This shows itself in us refusing to ask for help, or not completing a deadline in time,  It may be that we start picking fights or continually setting goals that are too high. Doing any of these are damaging and considered self sabotage, which is considered one of the hallmarks of child sexual abuse. For some tips have a listen, it may just surprise you. Go to our websi...

Nathan Spiteri - Part 2 of his story 00:00 Introduction & Recap 01:16 Impacts and navigating healing 23:22 Summary Nathan is a Survivor. Advocate. Writer. Actor  He was targeted and groomed by a stranger at the local pools. He was raped from the age of  8 until he was 13 years old, and he ended up being a Stockholm relationship. He feels that what helped him was saying the words, it’s not my f...