Good Girls Talk About Sex

Yami opens up about a variety of common though not-commonly-talked-about subjects: sexual assault by a family member, and navigating polyamory. Yami is a 23-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as bisexual and heteroromantic, in a relationship and exploring opening up with her partner. She describes her body shape as "a few extra pounds." Compersion is feeling pleasure when your partne...

Many of us miss pleasure that's available to us during oral sex because we're afraid of how we smell or taste. You can say no at any point, even when you're in the middle of it. Leah talks about how to do this in real life. Men are socialized to feel entitled to an ending once the sex has started. A chorus of voices share their thoughts about whether they worry about smell or taste. Leah answers....

Jocelyn is a full-service sex worker who's seen many aspects of the industry, and who currently specializes in sexual healing and sexual surrogacy. Joslyn is a 37 year old, cisgender female who describes herself as white, pansexual, polyamorous, single and dating, and Canadian.  She grew up in a Protestant Christian home.  She describes her body as athletic with curves. Sex work can be a bridge to...

Leah talks about a consent violation she experienced during medical care last year, and also shares her insights into her own fear around exercising. Leah begins by sharing about her quarantine weight gain, which led her to confront a lifetime's worth of avoidance issues around exercise — and an insight into how that mirrors the effects a negative body image had on safety in her sex Leah shares a...

Lynn shares her trauma history, and then opens up on a deep and detailed level about hiring a sex worker to save her marriage.  Because no one in her family talked about sex or bodies, for much of her early life, she believed that her vagina was a fatal birth defect. Lynn is a 49-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as white, NOT straight, mostly monogamous, married, and peri-menopaus...

Receiving oral sex isn't just about a tongue on a clit – it's about all the emotional and mental conversation happening at the same time. A chorus of voices answer "Do you enjoy receiving oral sex?" Leah answers. She opens up about the relationship dynamics in which her first experience of receiving oral took place, and how that impacted subsequent relationships. Leah suggests a new technique to h...

Jade opens up about the tension and difficulties in her past marriage, and the sexual dynamics of subtle pressure and coercion she experienced in the marriage and in her earlier dating. Maturity and emotional safety are at the core of her current partnership and it revolutionizes her sex life. She's now in love with her girl parts! Jade is a 51-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as...

We follow the oral sex question with a deep dive into swallowing ejaculate (or *not*.) We hear a wide variety of yes/no answers, but also yes/no conditions. Then Leah share her personal experience with blowjobs and the journey she took to make sure it was as good for her as it was for him. Little boys get just as much bad messaging as little girls do. Learning how to openly and safely communicate...

This week, 72-year-old Paulette gives us a window into growing up in a conservative time and culture, and how those tight-lipped and sexually discouraging tropes impacted her lifelong ability to experience pleasure. Paulette is a cisgender female. She describes herself as mixed Black/Latinx, heterosexual, monogamous, and post-menopausal. She describes her body as "thick." Paulette shares her first...

A variety of women answer whether or not they enjoy giving oral sex; host Leah goes more in-depth about her own personal experiences and preferences, and about how to engage in, negotiate, and enjoy the act. Then, the discussion turns to navigating a polyamorous relationship for someone new to the practice. Beware of performative standards (what you see in porn), and always feel free to negotiate...

Mel had plenty of boyfriends but had trouble being faithful. She has chosen ethical non-monogamy as a way of meeting her variety of relational and physical attractions and needs. If you think monogamy is the vanilla prison for which there is no safe word, or find yourself cheating yet again to get your needs met, it may be time to think outside the box. Relationships—both romantic and play—can acc...

Leah asks the women's she's interviewed about their relationship status with their pubic hair. Then she shares her own story of growing up with a combination of a genetically inherited bountiful mound and a learned lady-like horror of the same. Chorus of voices answering the question "Do you have hair down there, or are you bare? Leah answers, including seeing her mother's body naked with full pub...

Heather grew up assuming she would marry a man and have children.  So she did.  But sex was never a good experience. Then she had sex with a woman for the first time, and her life was changed forever. Today she lives with her female partner and co-parents her four daughters with her former husband.  She opens up about her early sexual journey through the lens of parenthood, and what she wants for...

Leah tackles the hierarchy of orgasms—and getting there at all. This week women respond to whether they prefer clit or vaginal stimulation, which opens up a penetrating (see what we did there?!) discussion about preferences. Sex Ed For Adults: "You are the only one who knows what's right for your genitals." As long as what's under consideration is consensual, pretty much everything else falls on a...

Stacey grew up aware of and comfortable with her own pleasure from an early age. She has a daughter and is twice divorced. She's had a rich sex life, and now finds happiness, satisfaction, and opportunity for personal growth in open relationships.   Stacey is a 45-year-old, cis-gender female, who describes herself as Black, heterosexual, and non-monogamous. She is currently single and open to expl...

Leah has asked many of her interviewees how many sexual partners they've had. The answers, in their surprisingly wide variety, show that there is no "normal." This also opens up a discussion about what "counts" as sex. Your sexual desires don't always overlap with your romantic relationship preferences, and that's common and totally okay. Chorus of voices answering "How many people have you had se...

Jessica is one of so many women who have been told, "You have such a pretty face, if you could only lose 50 pounds…" During her teenage years, she allowed that to define her perception of herself.  Then, at the end of high school, she discovered that there were cute clothes that fit her body and she could show off her curves and get attention. And that's just the beginning of the story! Jessica is...

In this episode, Leah begins answering the Lowdown questions – with a twist! To date, she has done well over 60 interviews, most of which have included an in-depth Q&A. As she answers each Lowdown question, you'll hear a chorus of voices answering the same question. The goal is to remind you, once again, that no matter what your answer is, you are completely normal and you are not alone. In the se...

Melissa experienced childhood sexual abuse and is dealing with its long-term impacts. She has a complicated pleasure response and is working on reframing how she views sex after abuse. After childhood sexual abuse, Melissa is determined to keep unpacking her experiences and shaping a sex life that feels like actual fun. She knows she is blessed with a good partner. She's sought therapy, and pays a...

This week we put aside the regular episode to feature the stories and voices of women and non-binary folx of color. The first half of the show calls back to clips from previous Good Girls Talk About Sex interviews: Jazz from the episode " Vibrators changed my life " Tenisha from the episode " I had to get drunk to have sex " Shana from the episode " It was never: I'm ready, let's do this " Maya fr...

Maya was born in the Sudan and came to the United States at age 6. She shares the frustrations she's had around religion and how it affected her sexuality, the way she used sex in her early life to fill an emotional void, and the pleasure she has finally found with her husband.  Maya is a 30-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as mixed race (black and white), heteroflexible, married,...

In part 4 of my conversation with Jessi Kneeland, we talk about how I ended up doing a six month solo road trip around the country in my car, and talk about the sexual healing I never expected to find while on the road. In "Am I normal?" we talk about female lubrication – is there such a thing as too much? Thanks to Jessi for interviewing ME! She is an amazing body image coach and I highly recomme...

Lois carried shame into her adulthood due to childhood sexual abuse. As an adult, she found healing and had wonderful sex with her current husband, which has dwindled as they've gotten older.  She talks about her how the abuse affected her relationship with her body and sex, participating in "free love" during the 60s, and her relationship with sex as she has gotten older. Lois is a 70-year-old, c...

In part 3 of my conversation with Jessi Kneeland, we talk about how I learned the difference between sensual and sexual touch, learning how to determine and voice my boundaries, and my ongoing battle with body image issues. Thanks to Jessi for interviewing ME!  She is an amazing body image coach and I highly recommend following her on Instagram and signing up for her weekly #TransparentTuesday ema...

As a child, Cathy experienced extended molestation, which caused her to dissociate from her body and feel huge shame about her body. As she grew older, she also gained weight, which left her feeling like no one would ever want her. In this interview we talk about those early experiences, plus the healing she has done and why she now feels passionate about helping others know that they are lovable...