Gal Talk

it's the spooky season folks! we've got goblins and ghouls scampering about, waiting to reveal themselves in scantily clad clothes, showing off their big beautiful goblin breasts and their stinky butt cheeks. it'd be cool to have sex with a ghost, because i've always been into older women, plus you get to watch the spread of your bust in her hollow body, and who doesn't love a...

didn't make that pun during the show, so i thought i'd save us by making it the title. needless to say, we've got a magical episode for you here, so all you nerds can finally hear our hot takes on fantasy fiction. do we think it's gay? depends on how far that wand fits up my butthole, now doesn't it? let's just say that old wizard staff better have ridges on it

that's right folks, we had to do it again. why? because the novel coronavirus, that's why. oh, you didn't think it was still a thing? me neither, i thought i got vaxed enough times by that hallway doctor, with the stinky hands, told me i could get the vax or free if i gave him a kiss in the right place. can you guess where the right place was? let me pull up this doll, go ahead and poi...

we're broke, we're sick, but we're here to broadcast. needn't you worry, darling, we aren't gone just yet. we have but more to say before the curtain draws. you ever been... you ever been so poor that the zoom recorder breaks and you have to wait until payday to buy a new one? well then you might be a redneck! you ever been... you ever been so broke you get erectile dysfunction...

sorry for the delay, folks, our podtrak p4 finally frigging totally crapped out on us. that's what you get, i suppose. gotta spend money to make money. gotta, sorta, you know broke money ain't fixin... spent money ain't broke... making money ain't spending if you broke don't fix it money. we all know that classic saying. money ain't broke so don't fix spending if you wa...

come with me, and you'll see, that i have a tiny wiener. right? did you sing it, in your head? try singing it in your head, then come back to me with your hot takes. what about, what about cold takes? where your opinion of something is like, kinda really chill. what did you think of the movie Contact? my cold take is that it's pretty alright. honestly, i feel like you could put that movie...

i'm too young to die, but i'm also too old to be living this way. is that a country song? garth brooks, maybe. something about how i'm sitting on the horse backwards, staring at the butt-end, looking towards the horizon as the sun goes down and my majestic horse drops a fat load on the ground. hey pal, what the hell did you eat? that smells horrendous.

what's your favorite movie? is it the barbie movie? well it g*ddamn better be, pal. this ain't a democracy no more, pumpkin. we watching barbie movie and we drinking finnish long drink. that's right. no more voting, no more news, no more politics. from now on we are getting f*cked up and rewatching barbie movie. that's what everyone wants, right? baby movies and low calorie seltzer...

welcome to gal talk! yay! woo! we're all so happy, and barbie, and feminism! look, it's basically the same show, we're just making some aesthetic changes, and trying to be more inclusive to women, because we love women, we love the way they... we love how... they're very good at things, and we encourage... we support... black lives matter

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: starting next week, don't be scared, don't be alarmed, but we will be changing the name of the show - after much discussion, we realized that the '39th Parallel" isn't the most googlable name in the world - so we will soon become "Gal Talk", a hip new show that is exactly the same as the old show. EPISODE NOTES: we love the barbie, don't w...

i would like to deliver a balls to my ass, if you know what i'm saying.

we're back, baby. the kind of content you're about to receive... oh my god, it's going to fill you up so good. so many carbs! so much red meat! hot red sweaty meat (like your father's balls) just hanging there... the most perfect of punching bags.

welcome to the schizophrenic hour. and look, i mean we've certainly done episodes to "fill the time", but this has got to be the peak example of "getting through the hour". we will return to regular programming next week, once my cohost unsucks himself from all the bare-back he so deviously enjoys.

sorry the episode was late, some scheduling issues arose. you see, i am on the international board of bustin, and this month we had A LOT of data to sort through, mostly from public contributions (thanks as always) but, as a side note, some of you guys need to get your sh*t checked out. it is not supposed to be green, grey, or black. after rigorous argument, mostly on my part, we do now accept deh...

well the cats outta the bag, and my balls are, subsequently, out of the cat's mouth. prerecorded episodes are done. my regular cohost, my main man, is out of the office this week. he told me he was traveling for work, but you and i both know the d*ck sucking convention rolled into town last week, and he couldn't keep his dirty mouth out of that tent for more than five minutes. i bet he&#39...

nuclear war... we've all heard of it: boom boom, bang bang: the end of everything... but isn't that... now isn't that quite a lot like my penis and balls? a decimation of all life, if you will? a sterile cleansing? a lot of women... perhaps too many women, all of them doctors, have described my balls as a russian nuclear alliance with the chinese. what are we to make of that? perhaps m...

boom boom motherfu*kers. check out the latest episode of this super cool hip podcast. and we, we appeal to youngsters and... and also NPR listeners. if you listen far enough along, i'm sure we talk about like, memoirs no one has read, or cool critters with interesting facts, and trump is bad, and january 6th... ooh so crazy... i haven't... i haven't listened to NPR in a long time. i do...

let's start a band. something akin to Tenacious D, but like, without getting wildly overweight. and also without the references to music we liked whenever we were kids- provided that we were "kids" in the 70's- and... and also, now that i think of it, other than "School of Rock", and "Bernie", what has Jack Black ever done that warrants any respect? Nacho Libr...

i got a memorial for you right here, bucko. it's got two balls and a pair of reindeer horns, a big spiky spike coming out of my... of my... butt? of my butt. go ahead and check it out. look deep. what do you see? that's right, it's a roadmap. but where does it lead to? not your favorite local cocktail bar. oh no, no. you're going to find yourself waist deep in dreamland. your broth...

i'd like to dedicate a month of celebration to the male body. we've already got women's month (weirdly overlapping with black history month). so i say it's high time we have a month dedicated to that moment, as a guy, when you've got an erection at inconvenient time, in a weird place, and you gotta do one of those 'squeeze your toes to redirect blood flow while thinking of...

yeah, i didn't go to college, so i'm not hip to what kids are calling "research", but i did smoke a couple doobies in a parking lot beside a college dorm. so... you could say i received a community college education on history... middle aged as*holes are scared of chatgpt, but i gotta tell you a little secret: (nobody writes college papers). just google it. like our forefathers d...

how come corn is yellow? hows come corn do be yellow like that? cause you look at corn, right? you're looking at an ear of corn, and it's all yellow! how come it don't be lots of different kinds of colors? like red and purple and sh*t like that? what did they do to the corn? what did they do to the native americans? is there a connection there? pilgrims? shut the f*ck up.

we live in a world, maybe you've noticed, where everything is pretend. there isn't a structure to hold all of this upright, and yet we still act as though what we do is pertinent, it has meaning we have yet to uncover, so long as we continue to suffer... toil... eventually we will be rewarded, right? As long as you work hard, give it all you got, invest wisely... something something someth...

what's your favorite fast food snack? i... i don't care. we all eat the same things. there is no favorite fast food, because the whole experience of eating is derived from... do you like your wet meat in a burrito or a bun? fries or fries? soda or beer? depends on the time of day, no it doesn't.

i know the episode is titled after a different movie, but i'm uploading this at midnight after more than my fair share of ranch waters, just completing my fifth rewatch of Paul Thomas Anderson's "The Master", and really, if you take nothing else from our show, you should remember that PTA did approximately two good things in his artistic career, and this movie is one of them. (th...