Gal Talk

at this point, i mean come on, bro. just let the man die. he doesn't know how to do sentences anymore! you remember sentences? you remember learning how to translate the thoughts in your head into complete verbal structures? that's gone, for him. he doesn't have it. god took it from him. and this is the same man enabling a genocide... i mean jesus christ, even i feel bad for him. this...

who's your favorite guy? and why? because my favorite guy has got to be the lord and savior. that's just a fun little quirk about me, is that despite all the other guys available for choosing, i still always go for the lord and savior. because it is very cool, historically speaking, that his name, given or chosen, was jesus christ, and at the time that was just like... some guy's name....

let's imagine you have a son, and he's smoking crack, he's listening to fleet foxes... isn't there a part of you that says "I wish I could have done that, when i was so young and so free, at fifty four years old"

look, we all love to make boom-boom out of our stick holes... but have you considered, rather than, instead of - we take all that pent up energy and overthrow the government? like, if we hold those bad boys in for a couple weeks, maybe forgo sex as an option at all, then maybe we'd finally find a prime directive. has anyone seen Chi-Raq? because i haven't, but i do know what happens in the...

yay, woohoo, everything is okay, i'm not stuck in a perpetual cycle of cynical thoughts perpetrating my everyday experience, thus ruining any opportunity to connect with a higher power, even if that higher power ultimately ends up being the sun or a gentle breeze on a cool day, or the sensation of kissing someone, or the breath of a loved one being snuffed out during the final moments on earth...

y'all ever get fucked in your ass wearing one of them doggo costumes? with the floppy ears? just getting dicked down by a man wearing one of them badger outfits while both of you climax to that there chinese cartoons, whacthu call them? anime? the one where it's like you can't be telling if the girl is a child or not? i hear y'all are real into that stuff, like when a dragon sucks...

sorry this one was uploaded a little late today, i was up late last night rewatching Twin Peaks, because... you know... i don't need to tell you how bad it is outside. it's much better to stay indoors and rewatch Twin Peaks. just go ahead and forgo the idea of community, protest, enacting social changes, just go ahead and flip that Twin Peaks rewatch on full blast. not even for nostalgia p...

i'm trying to think back... does anyone... can anyone name a specific thing that obama did? i know that stuff happened, i remember those eight years, and i'm not trying to say it was insignificant, but can you personally name a specific thing that was different or that happened? we killed bin laden, i guess. single payer healthcare, i guess. he pretended that flint's water was fine? fe...

i'm not a religious man. i prefer to think of myself as a simple country boy incapable of connecting to anything larger than himself, and the thing he's presented with in the mirror, because ultimately his only sentiment in life is that which pursues the pleasure of his immediate necessities. "who needs money and power? you can't take it with you!"that's what they always...

april 28th: 12pm. i'm writing this transcript in the dead of night, sipping on an herbal lemon tea i know, despite it's lack of caffeination, will get me too jazzed up before bedtime. outside my apartment i've just heard two friends parting ways (an obviously gay man and one of those women who has a very close relationship with gay men), and as a way of saying goodnight, they not only...

dude, bro. i know it's no longer 420, that time has passed us by, just as all time passes us by, without warning, in a fast trickle of movements we can't explain, emotions we barely have the space to comprehend and properly categorize, but bro, dude, whenever it's 420 bro, whenever it's 420 i like to get so fucking high i can't stand up to go to the bathroom because it's li...

collective voice, what's the deal? i feel like, of all the voices you can have (and i'm including chinese) the collective one is probably the most effective. or maybe not. maybe collectively chattering about the things we want or need isn't working too good anymore. maybe we need a new voice. a deep sexy voice. we need a james earl jones style of voice. something dark and mystical. ins...

we say we don't like colonization, but have we considered that actually it's actually good to kill thousands and millions of people? because i feel like that goes missing in the conversation. a lot of people will talk about colonialism being bad because of all the bad stuff it produced, but i'm here saying what if... but what if actually it's good to kill an entire nation of people...

coming to you from the twisted minds that brought you... the last episode of this podcast, from last week, where we said similar things but, look, i don't know what happened, but we really drifted from the core of this show, which is me trying to sneak racism into the media space, and i'm sorry for that, i'm trying to grow and do better. from here and out, it's only going to be jokes about like, w...

if you're going to be a musician, and god help you, jesus christ, but if you are going to be a musician, then at the very least you should name yourself with some reference to your cock. at this point drake should rename himself "i have a big penis and you all saw it online". who are you going to see tonight? i'm going to see I Have a Big Penis And You All Saw It Online. IHBPYASO...

i almost forgot to upload the show because i've been staying up too late rewatching Scenes From a Marriage. i don't know why, but it's a good watch, if you're interested in a very depressing perspective on marriage and love. do you guys... y'all ever get interested in acquiring yourself a marriage? what's the consensus on that, these days? it seems like everyone is continui...

OSCAR BUZZ OSCAR BUZZ (i'm trying to trick the algorithm) OSCAR BUZZ sleeper cell OSCAR BUZZ genocide in gaza OSCAR BUZZ the dissolution of the united states for no apparent reason other than the natural evolution of exploitation creating generations of unskilled labor OSCAR BUZZ my penis hasn't gotten hard in months OSCAR BUZZ and i know i should go to a doctor, but what are they going to...

it's 5am, and you simply haven't slept. it's not happening. you tried and failed. every time you check your phone it says a new horrifying time. 3am, 5am, 6am. the sun is almost coming up, you can see the way the darkness parts, splintering under the presence of tomorrows light, and what are you doing? after the hours spent thinking about your job, your relationship, your family, what...

we all do it. let's not, hey, stop it, don't lie to me like you lie to your mother. we all take our pants off and fire up the website, look for our preferred video- sometimes (often) for way too long - and get to wanking on our little junk pile we got stationed between our legs, at the ready, awaiting instructions. please, senior, drain me... make the discomfort go away, allow my sins to a...

if i owe you $20, and six months goes by, are you the type of friend who earnestly tries to collect on that cash? with a slight interest of emotional damages you never tell me about but kind of hold in your heart as a judgement of me? or are you an adult, who decides, hey it's $20, let's just assume that money is gone forever. don't keep tabs on people. this might be the only genuine t...

hey man... you got the 'tism? are you tising right now man? oh yeah, jacob over there working on his model trains, got that sweat dripping out his mouth cause he so excitable. my man over there dribbling like a rottweiler all cause he got the tracks aligned and the lighthouse working. nah man, he cool. ain't going to make much of himself when he get older, but that'a alright.

what do you see when you close your eyes? is it a bunch of meshy black nothingness given definition by outside light? or is it a big sweaty hog looking down at you, begging you for relief, please, please, rock my world baby? it'd be cool to f*ck someone who was into rocks. like a geological type of gal. saying things like "stalagmites". i'm going to suck you until your fossil com...

boom boom, ka-blow! it'd be fun if bombs actually went off like that, like they made the "kablow" sound. i think israel would have a much easier time with their tiktok accounts if they started utilizing cartoon logic during their bombing campaigns. perhaps have a couple coyotes running off a cliff before looking down to see there's no road left with an "uh oh" facial ex...

sorry it's late, i forgot to upload it last night because i was too busy watching "children of men" and thinking about how cool it would be if i had the last successful bust in a post-apocalypse london. can you imagine? you look around at all these infertile inbred pieces of sh*t (because it's london, not because of the apocalypse part) and you just know, i've got the last dr...

aha ha. get it? because it's, because... you know, like the sex position. a position we're just supposed to pretend is a real thing that real people do. but honestly, i mean, they don't even, you don't even see it in porn. that's how you know it ain't real. they can't even find a way to aesthetically film it, and we're talking about an industry that invented incest...