FREAKQUELS Podcast

This week, murder is afoot on Freakquels so the gang calls in Macey Morcom and Becky Henderson to help solve the murder mystery! Within moments they figure out, it was Rory based on the damning evidence and proud, unprompted confession.  Having solved the mystery quicker than any of them could have imagined, the group decides to kill some time by reviewing the slasher franchise's original tril...

Tired of young Vince’s werewolf antics, Rory and EJ race against time to find a cure for his lycanthropia. While none of their exciting trials and tribulations are present in this episode, you can hear them review the classic film, “THE WOLF MAN”, with studly Joe Petitto! That’s something, right? Right???

Returning home from Transylvania, pilot Salvatore Napoli recommends that the gang review the bug-infested flick “Mimic 2” to kill some time during their flight! They are joined by cockroach king, Connor Cashman, who offers them some pocket pizza and tips on how to safely tear someone’s face off so one could mimic them! 

On a very serious episode of Freakquels, Rory loses his battle with Psychosis and goes on a killing spree. Young Vince tells Ej that the only way to calm Rory down is to take in the movie “AMERICAN PSYCHO” and go over their business cards. Rory loves business cards. Will Rory ever break his homicidal ways? Will Young Vince ever stop putting up drywall? Find out now on FREAKQUELS!

On a very emotional episode of FREAKQUELS, Dr. Elle Snow promises Rory and Ej that with months of intense therapy, there is a possibility that young werewolf Vince can be driven away from Dracula and his monsters and return home to them.  Having watched the classic vampire film, “DRACULA”, they decide it would just be easier to stake the vamp, kick some werewolf nards and drag Vince’s werewolf ass...

This week on FREAKQUELS, Strega Carmo councils the gang over their shared trauma of having watched, “HOWLING lll: THE MARSUPIALS!"  They are joined by werewolf actors from the franchise's earlier entries who share their harrowing tales of having to sit back and helplessly watch ravenous marsupials transform their once mighty theatrical franchise into a straight-to-video one!  

On a VERY special episode of FREAKQUELS, the Universal Monsters gather around young Vince before bedtime to read him his favorite nightmare of a book, “The BABADOOK!” Elsewhere, EJ and Rory discuss a film of the same name while eating out of the trash! 

Half insane from the invisibility serum, werewolf Vince has joined up with Dracula’s monstrous crew! Desperate to rescue their baby boy, Rory and EJ turn to Emily Price and Kevin Napoli to form a Monster (cocks a shotgun) Squad in hopes of reminding the hairy scamp of what’s truly important in life…reviewing horror films such as the 1987 (kids movie?), “THE MONSTER SQUAD!”

Due to excessive drinking, the druids mixed up young Vince’s werewolf cure with an invisibility serum! Having promised each other a long time ago that they would never deal with werewolf drama on a Wednesday, EJ and Rory instead discuss the classic Universal monster flick, "THE INVISIBLE MAN", letting werewolf Vince be Thursday’s problem. 

Rory and EJ have successfully traveled through time to a point before a werewolf tore young Vince apart! Although Vince is alive, his werewolf curse remains for some reason, and worst yet, he’s infested with fleas!  In hopes of lifting the curse, the gang visits their DRUID CULT friends, Matthew Renaldi and Adam Farley, in hopes of curing the filthy fleabag with some good old-fashioned dark magic...

Having uploaded his consciousness into the mainframe of their starship, Jason Belack sends EJ and Rory a coded request to discuss the indie horror film, “IT FOLLOWS”, as they travel through time to resurrect the temporarily dead, young Vince.  This is a personal film for Starship Belack’s circuits because it reminds him of the one-night stand he had with a random star cruiser which resulted in Jas...

Having successfully time-traveled to a point before the zombie apocalypse, the FREAKQUELS crew is back on Earth, looking forward to the future under a beautiful FULL MOON. Upon stepping off the ship, the local LYCANTHROPE Marcie Riebe immediately attacked young Vince, tearing him to shreds. With a sigh of deep annoyance, EJ and Rory return to the wormhole hoping to resurrect the lad, reviewing the...

Failing to refuel their ship before entering the wormhole, the FREAKQUELS crew finds themselves stranded in SPAAAACE! While returning from a puzzle box-related expedition, space stud Jon Snow rescues the gang under the condition they’ll review the science fiction horror film “HELLRAISER: BLOODLINE” with him while he solves the mysterious puzzle box!  

While shopping around in space for their dream wormhole to pass through, the FREAKQUELS gang kills time by recounting the weekend when SHANE and LEO PURDY invited them to their lovely summer home at HIGGINS HAVEN to discuss the classic slasher film, “FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART 3”, only to have the young Vince finally admit to being the one who sullied the weekend by inviting the hockey mask wearing man...

After reviewing the mind-bending, horror-adjacent flick, “DONNIE DARKO”, the FREAKQUELS gang decides to do some reckless time-traveling of their own to return to a point before the zombie apocalypse! "Space-time continuum be damned!" - young Vince

After coloring all over the walls of Mike Vinci’s space pub and clogging all the sinks with binkies, young Vince and his supposed POSSESSED HAND are placed in timeout.  Rather than compensate the barkeeper for the damages, Rory and EJ halfheartedly invite Mike to join them in reviewing the horror comedy, “IDLE HANDS!”

After acquiring a space cellphone, the gang calls FREAKQUELS alum Joe Petitto to see if their friends and family survived the zombie apocalypse. He assures them they all did…and then yells, ‘APRIL FOOLS!” into the phone before abruptly hanging up on them.  To distract themselves from their crippling grief, the gang discusses the 1986 (sorta) slasher flick, “APRIL FOOL'S DAY!”

Still, aboard the Event Horizon, the Freakquels gang learns of a zombie outbreak back on Earth! Rather than save their loved ones, they retreat to a small space pub to discuss the horror comedy, “SHAUN OF THE DEAD” until this whole thing blows over. 

High above PLANET SHEQUELS, a mysterious inter-dimensional starship known as the EVENT HORIZON has entered the atmosphere. Desperate to return to their own dimension, the FREAKQUELS crew impulsively boards the vessel and is greeted by the (probably possessed) Captain Adam Farley who teaches them YOU WON’T NEED EYES to review the cult science fiction horror flick, “EVENT HORIZON!”

To escape the murderous Freddy Fazbear mascots, the gang hops a starship and leaves planet Earth again!   Lost in space, their ship gets sucked into a wormhole and then spit into an alternate universe where FREAKQUELS doesn't exist and the 2013 remake of "CARRIE" is being reviewed by the hit podcast, SHEQUELS!

Now that young Vince is cured of his vampirism, the gang celebrates by discussing the 2023 film “FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S” at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza! While stuffing his face with substandard za, young Vince is kidnapped by the shop's mechanical mascots. Led by the heroic security guards, SHANE and LEO PURDY, the gang embarks on a suicide mission to get their baby boy back!

After young Vince is stricken with a nasty bout of SPACE VAMPIRISM, Rory and EJ return to Earth to leave the fanged scamp in the hands of local vampire expert, ELLE SNOW, in hopes of making him her problem so they can dick off and review the 2022 vampire flick, “THE INVITATION.”

After their stunning display of militaristic incompetence during the battle on PLANET P, the FREAKQUELS crew is ordered back to Earth aboard the STARSHIP CARMO where Captain STREGA CARMO orders the gang to study the science fiction film “LIFEFORCE” in preparation for an impending space vampire attack! 

This week, the FREAKQUEL ROUGHNECKS battle the hostile ARACHNIDS on the war-torn PLANET P, led by the fearless Sgt. Casey Clocker and the mighty freedom-fighting ferret, CYRANO! Between all the gooey BUG SPLATTER, the unit discusses the eerie similarities between their war and the one in the science fiction film, “STARSHIP TROOPERS!”

On a VERY special episode of FREAKQUELS, EJ and Rory teach young Vince all about the birds and the bees by having him watch the timeless love story, “BRIDE OF CHUCKY!”