FREAKQUELS Podcast

This week, EJ and Rory are looking to build brand new headquarters for the pod! As luck would have it, a group of horribly annoying influencers has purchased a small town in Texas and are offering up an elderly woman’s home for a low low price! Sure she still lives there, but that’s what throwing her in the dust and stealing her house is for! Anywho, I guess Leatherface has some kind of stupid att...

This week, EJ and Rory are joined by Justin and Briana on an expedition to Antarctica! The problem is, one of these jerks rented their body out as a vacation spot to an alien keen on doing some sightseeing! Not wanting to get eviscerated again, the gang agrees to perform an alien identification test! While awaiting the results, the gang discusses John Carpenter’s FX masterpiece, “THE THING!” By th...

This week on FREAKQUELS, the suspiciously vampiric Bobby Keller has invited EJ and Rory to a podcast convention out in the isolated town of Jerusalem's Lot! Problem is, there’s no signs of an event and the majority of the residents just glare hungrily at EJ and Rory’s neck while licking their lips. They’re either dealing with vampires or filthy perverts, but they don’t have the time to figure that...

This week, the FBI has confiscated all the FREAKQUELS recordings…for reasons to be announced. Anywho, since the man is depriving them their sweet sweet pod cash, EJ and Rory take jobs at a local supermarket where a wildly vicious serial killer is picking off the staff one by one. Knowing that a slain staff equates to some pretty solid job security, survivor Joshua Lizasuain hides away in a stockro...

This week, the jerks over at FREAKQUELS are faced with a film that’s so out there and downright weird that even an inappropriately placed Necronomicon couldn’t give them the power to review it properly. With their backs against the wall, EJ and Rory placed a call to the boys over at REEL CHRONICLES and they answered just in time to help them properly review the blackest of black sheep sequels, “JA...

This week on the hit show FREAKQUELS, powerhouse Jeff Boam joins everyone’s favorite jerks to review the classic Todd Browning effort, “FREAKS!” We accept Jeff, we accept Jeff. One of us, one of us. Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble. 

This week on FREAKQUELS, PROM is in full swing! The only problem is that the dance is Texas Chainsaw Massacre themed and everyone is wearing each other’s face so no one knows where their dates are! Until the confusion is sorted out, Rory, EJ, Greg Caldwell, and Brent Wilson chill at the loser table and discuss one of the weirdest sequels ever made, “THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE NEXT GENERATION...

This week on an extra special PROM episode of FREAKQUELS, the dastardly Elle and Jon Snow have rigged the ballots so that EJ and Rory will be named king and queen of the jerks! Once on stage, the Snows plan to dump pigs blood on Rory and EJ because…ya know...cruelty. To kill time until they execute their nefarious deed, the Snows discuss the Brian De Palma masterpiece, “CARRIE!” EJ and Rory also d...

EJ’s filled with space slugs…again! This normally wouldn’t be an issue, but he’s making it Rory, Greg Caldwell, Jay Salerno, and Megan Elizabeth’s problem by getting them all infested and the like. It has been proven by scientists that slug infested cinephiles love reviewing the movie “NIGHT OF THE CREEPS” so that’s what we’re doing this week, jerks! 

It’s prom night on FREAKQUELS and EJ, Rory, Marnie Azzarelli, and Justin O'Hearn have rented a limo together! Tonight will surely be a magical evening filled with wonderful memories that will last a lifetime. However…there are growing concerns about Rory’s attire. His sparkly black ski mask isn’t traditionally considered formal…nor is the chilling bloodlust in his eyes. To relieve the tension-...

This week on FREAKQUELS, EJ and Rory are stuck inside Freddy Fazbear costumes! How did they get inside them? Couldn’t tell ya. Realizing they will probably die in there , Leo and Shane Purdy review “FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S 2” to distract the duo from the grim reality that they are going to be shredded alive by evil robot suits!

This week on FREAKQUELS, Jay Salerno has joined EJ and Rory in some fun filled highway terrorism! Disturbed by their heinous deeds, Mad Greg Caldwell jumped inside his V8 Interceptor and hunted down the gang to force them to review George Miller’s high-octane masterpiece, “MAD MAX!”

This week on FREAKQUELS, Adam Farley picks the gang up in his Turbo Interceptor so they can drag race while discussing the supernatural revenge tale, “THE WRAITH!” The distracting nature of their discussion resulted in many car accidents, but honestly…who cares? 

This week on FREAKQUELS, world leaders have arranged the first sit-down between the Monster and the Wolf Man since their legendary fallout in, “FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN!” Lucky for the gang, Rory, EJ, and Chris Conforti get to witness it from the bushes. Within minutes of discussing creature politics, the monsters begin brawling again. So much for future monster relations, America!

After Earth crosses the tail of a rogue comet, EJ and Rory’s semi-truck becomes self-aware and decides it would like to see other people. To help them deal with the breakup, David Gonzalez finally takes them up on reviewing the cocaine fueled thrill ride, “MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!” 

Safe inside their semi-truck, Rory and EJ accidentally come across a war between ancient Chinese societies! Now they must make the difficult choice between getting involved to help defeat a dark lord who has ambitions to leave the world in darkness or take the much more cowardly path to stay home and review “BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA” with Marcie Riebe! So without further ado, here’s their crumm...

High on Tannis root, EJ and Rory discuss “ROSEMARY’S BABY” with special guests Jay Salerno and Megan Elizabeth! During this episode, they break down the film, its legacy, and their one-night stand with the dark lord! Quality stuff, folks!

This Friday the 13th, Captains Matthew Renaldi and Greg Caldwell welcome EJ and Rory aboard the S.S. Lazarus to take a luxury cruise from Crystal Lake to Crystal Ocean where they discuss the much maligned slasher entry “FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN!” There were a couple of other guests who were scheduled to record who had some legitimately insightful takes on this film, but Jaso...

After a friendly game of basketball ends with the explosion of Matthew Rinaldi’s head, EJ and Rory quickly review the Wes Craven joint “DEADLY FRIEND” so they can learn the science behind turning their headless friend into a robot. Watch out, America! Here comes Robo Rinaldi! Oh, and Rory turns into a BB for some reason…just like EJ predicted.

After a long night of turning tricks, EJ and Rory wind down for the evening by inviting David Gonzalez and friend of the show Greg Caldwell over to review a love letter to Frankenstein that only Troma could have produced, “FRANKENHOOKER!” Will the gang take what they’ve learned from this film to finally resurrect Young Vince? Probably not….it’s late.

This week, EJ and Rory decide to plummet their listenership by reviewing the mostly forgotten zombie love story, “MY BOYFRIEND’S BACK!” Listen as two grown men attempt to shed a little light on a film they loved back when they were weird zombie loving children!

After reviewing the survival horror film “READY OR NOT”, the gang decides to honor their own dark pact with Satan by hunting guests Jay Salerno and Greg Caldwell! Who will survive? Eh…who cares?

This week, EJ, Rory, and Chris Conforti watch and review the real life story of Ross Jones, “HEART EYES!” To their surprise, Ross breaks out of the slammer to get his review on with the boys. How much of this throwback to ‘90s rom-com/slasher flicks was actually true? According to Ross, “most of it!”

This week on FREAKQUELS, Johnny law has given EJ and Rory the choice between attending Kent academy or jail. Having burned a lot of bridges in the clink, they decide to give the military academy a go. After blowing off formation to review “CHILD’S PLAY 3”, Cadet Lieutenant Colonel Chris Conforti subjects the jerks to brutal punishment, intense training, and multiple rounds of Hide the Soul, which...

Needing to hide from the police…for reasons, EJ and Rory flee to Barrow, Alaska! Problem is, a couple of jerk vamps are taking advantage of the town’s 30 days of darkness policy to feed on Barrow’s peeps. Vampires really have no consideration for people fleeing from the law. Anywho, they called Jon and Elle Snow for backup so they can get out of this carnage-ridden jam. While they await their arri...