FREAKQUELS Podcast

CAMP FREAKQUELS will soon be a tomb for EJ and Rory because they are officially out of food, water, and vitamin hope. With one dwindling bar of cellphone battery remaining, a call is made to film critic Dave Gonzalez to review the wildly misunderstood slasher flick “FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V: A NEW BEGINNING” rather than calling for help. With these kind of priorities, they deserve to die!

This week on CAMP FREAKQUELS, communication from the gang has gone silent so Jon Snow and young Vince are hired to recover the bodies of EJ and Rory from nearby campgrounds. If the morons are found alive, FREAKQUELS CORP demands they review the 80’s sleaze-fest “SLEEPAWAY CAMP” for some sweet sweet content. If the jerks are found dead….eh…it doesn't really matter. FREAKQUELS CORP just want to...

This week, local maniac Ross “Airhorn” Jones crashes CAMP FREAKQUELS to discuss the low-budget slasher flick “BLOODY MURDER” which he claims is loosely based off his life! Will EJ and Rory be added to his rapidly growing body count? Probably.

Welcome to Camp Freakquels! The place EJ and Rory retreat to when the feds start sniffing aroun…I mean…when they want to tell…ghost…stories. Yes, that should stick. Anywho, while sitting before a roaring camp fire, Greg Caldwell emerges from the woods to PROBABLY not murder them. Wanting to get in on some of the sweet sweet blood covered marshmallows he brought, EJ and Rory invite the stranger to...

The FREAKQUENCY has been taken over by alien parasites…and the gang couldn’t be happier with their new space-slug demographic! As a form of gratitude, Ej and Rory invite hive mother Marcie Riebe over to discuss the horror comedy, “SLITHER!” 

Drunken FRAT ALIENS have arrived on Earth and have been leaving butt-shaped crop circles all over the fields of Pennsylvania! Fearful of an invasion…or worst yet…intergalactic beer pong tournaments (which frat aliens call gawaganabo), EJ and Rory turn to Father Patrick Conlin for solace which he can only offer to them in the form of M.Night Shyamalan’s science-fiction classic, “SIGNS.” As a priest...

This week on FREAKQUELS, Rory FINALLY gets the electric chair for his crimes, but has turned into a sand man for some reason. What’s weird is he’s using his incredible powers to be a litter box…which no one asked him to do. Honestly, some of the cats are weirded out by the whole thing. Anywho, while Rory works through…whatever the hell it is that’s going on with him, EJ and Bobby Keller discuss th...

Welcome to PART 2 of our ED WOOD-A-THON! Long distance electrodes have been shot into the pineal and pituitary glands of the recently dead members of the FREAKQUENCY, forcing them to participate in a LIVE COMMENTARY TRACK for one of the worst movies ever made, “PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE! Is this movie's abysmal reputation warranted? Hit play on the film once the gang gives you the cue so you can fol...

This week, the FREAKQUENCY crashes the gang's LIVE commentary track for “BRIDE OF THE MONSTER” during their ED WOOD-A-THON! If you’d like to join the party and follow along with the film, then hit play once that gang gives you the cue! Throw your tentacles in the air and come celebrate one of Hollywood’s original outsiders, Ed Wood! 

This week on FREAKQUELS, Matthew Rinaldi has brought the interactive murder video game BRAINSCAN to show EJ and Rory at their weekly horror club meeting! This game allows you to experience a realistic murder through the eyes of a killer. After letting Rory borrow the game for an evening, murders pop up all over town, but what’s weird is the game is still in its original wrapper. I’m sure it’s noth...

This week on FREAKQUELS, EJ is possessed by PAZUZU and his pals! Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but the LEGION of demons won’t stop talking throughout the gangs review of “THE EXORCIST lll” and it’s more than a little distracting. Rather than subject himself to any rude demons lacking basic self-awareness, Rory calls in father Jeff Boam to perform an exorcism on EJ! Will Rory pay Jeff for his...

This is not a DRILL! Tom Tomeo is having the slumber party of the season, and Rory and EJ are invited over to review “THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE” in their PJs. Sounds like fun, right? Well, the DRILLER KILLER’s invite got “lost in the mail” and he’s a little salty about the whole thing! Will he kill the gang with his trusty drill or will he get too distracted by all the hunky photos of 80’s Stallo...

This week, the gang’s vacation to Twin Peaks has been interrupted by the murder of Laura Palmer…which Rory more than likely committed. I mean, who takes rolls of plastic wrap and a bundle marked “KILL TOOLS” on vacation? After sorting through the damning evidence, Twin Peak’s sheriff Dave Gonzalez was quoted as saying, “Don’t get used to Rory being on this stupid podcast for much longer.” Anyway,...

This week on FREAKQUELS, young Vince has his last dance with Mary Jane as Max Roche and the gang cut in to show the lad the cautionary tale, “REEFER MADNESS: THE MOVIE MUSICAL!” 

In need of rest following their epic battle with the army of darkness, EJ and Rory attend a circus only to discover that murderous space clowns occupy it! I guess it’s true what Abraham Lincoln once said, “There’s no rest for the Cheeto-stained podcaster!”  Anywho, with the murderous killer clowns hot on their trail, the gang turns to officer David Gonzalez for help who has them watch his favorite...

Well, ignoring the pesky vampire has undoubtedly blown up in EJ and Rory’s face because the jerk got his hands on the NECRONOMICON and has raised an army of the dead to take over the world. What a week! On a quest to redeem themselves, the gang enlists Leo and Shane Purdy to battle the army of the dead! Killing time until the battle begins, the four review Sam Raimi’s fantastical horror comedy, “A...

A pesky VAMP is terrorizing FREAKQUELVILLE, so EJ and Rory enlist Elle Snow and Strega Carmo to slay the jerk because…honestly…they don’t wanna. Listen as your pals from FREAKQUELS lazily sit at home, eat Cheetos, and ignore the screams outside so they can review EJ’s favorite cult vampire movie “SUBSPECIES!”

Having accidentally blown young Vince out of the airlock of their space shuttle, Rory, EJ, and Mike Vinci have returned to Earth and are on the run from the police inside their 1970s van! Not being one to turn away a dangerous-looking hitchhiker, the gang picks up Brent Wilson, who invites them to meet his psychotic family and review “THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE” over some homemade BBQ! The gang...

Saint Patrick may have chased the snakes out of Ireland, but FREAKQUELS may chase away their audience by reviewing, “LEPRECHAUN 4: IN SPACE!” Join the gang as Captain Mike Vinci pilots them through space where no one can hear young Vince scream…when a Leprechaun bites his baby toes.  

Movie-themed Murder is afoot at Windsor College, so Detectives Marnie Azzarelli and Justin O’Hearn have invited dirtbag “film reviewers” EJ and Rory to help solve the case! Since Rory’s reasonably sure he’s the culprit, he asks EJ to distract the detectives by inviting them to review one of the best sequels in horror history, “SCREAM 2”, while he blows town.

This week on FREAKQUELS, Adam Farley and Daniel Hanicak invite EJ and Rory to the ol’ Chapel to play a round of Cry Wolf. Unfortunately, Rory failed to understand that this was only a game and that he didn’t actually need to kill people…an honest mistake for sure. Needless to say, the gang will not be invited back for any future game nights. Rather than be bothered with Rory’s growing bloodlust, E...

EJ has risen from the grave…however, some essential parts have fallen off. Bummer! Fear not zombie Leeson, for Rory, Elle Snow, and Meggie Roche are here to recover the pieces of that sweet bod and stick you in a tanning bed to reanimate them so we can all review the living hell out of a future cult classic that nine out of ten zombies called, “moooooaaaaaaaaan”, “LISA FRANKENSTEIN!” 

This week, EJ’s rabies-ridden body needs to be buried inside the BUFFALORA CEMETERY because Rory “accidentally” buried a pickaxe into his head. Elle and Jon Snow have agreed to aid in his burial, but are confused to learn that Rory wasn’t aware of the rabies at the time of the pickaxing. Anywho, this is one of those resurrection cemeteries so the three kill time waiting for EJ to rise from the gra...

This Valentine's Day, EJ Leeson has rabies…or the rage virus! Either way, he has chased Rory, Elle Snow, and Justin O’Hearn into an abandoned coal mine! Hiding inside some old coal miner clothes, the trio decides to kill some time by reviewing the blood-soaked remake, “MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D!” 

Cast away your TRIOXIN, for the Metal Messiah Jon Snow has risen to regale EJ and Rory with a review etched onto stone tablets for the ultimate blood-soaked zombie love story, “RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3!” Testify!