Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn

In renovation shows it is a popular idea to tear out walls and create an open concept floor plan. In this episdoe Vern describes how our compartmentalization (separate rooms) has worked against us in our desire to create a wholistic life of integrity. Today - tear down those walls! If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: b...

How do you know you are making headway in recovery? In this episode Vern explores various ways to determine if you are making progress (beyond just clean time) If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video co...

There is an AA saying - "don't go into your head without adult supervision". In this episode Vern talks about some of our best thinking which actually works against our desire to be free from porn. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or...

When Will Smith slapped Chris Rock in the face at the Oscars everybody freaked out. Makes sense. But when do you do when you see red? What happens when you have a strong flush of emotions that seek to derail your recovery? In this episode Vern talks what we can learn from the slap heard around the world? If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you ca...

What would a professional sex therapist have to say to guys in porn recovery? Monica Cook is a sex therapist from Sydney Australia and in this episode we explore the topic of healthy sexuality and porn. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resourc...

This episode is a thumbnail sketch of the lesson "Saying goodbye to Porn" in the Finding Traction Video Course - if you want to watch a free sample of this course you can go to the website bandofbrothers.care If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery r...

Do you every feel like you are one of those white dry erase board that can't get clean? In this snapshot of one of the lessons in the Finding Traction Course, we talk about how we can return to a since of having a true pristine white board once again. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If...

Sometimes courage is simply choosing to resist in the face of stiff odds. Using the example of the Ukranian resistance to the Russian invasion, Vern explores what it means to resist the incursion of porn into our life and asks the question - what's the alternative? If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.car...

When we engage in porn it supercharages our sexual drive. Over time we actually can end up messing up our sexual drive and arousal process. The messes up the possiblity of a good normal sexual relationship. This episode outlines how that works but ends with the good news is that when we distance ourselves from porn, we can actually begin to return to a normal biological rhthym and a normal sexual...

In this episode Vern cuts to the chase - if you haven't changed anything since the last time you acted out, your next time will look just like the last time! It's that simple. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the...

What is normal to experience in the first year of recovery? In this episode Vern interviews one of his coaching clients and talks about some of the challenges and experiences that one can expect in the first year. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recov...

As we start a new year - it is a good time to ask the question -What would it feel like to have the best year ever and what do you need to do to make that happen? If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video...

A dike or levee is what keeps water back from flooding people's land and homes. In this episode Vern shares about the flooding in his home town - and how this flood is a powerful example that any dike (or porn recovery plan) is only as strong as its weakest links. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care...

Strong emotions, especially negative ones, are triggers for acting out with porn. If you are an avid sports fan, how do you deal with the negative emotions and desire to look at porn when your favorite team loses! Yes that may sounds silly but you real sports fans (like me) know it is a very real thing! If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can...

Porn serves a certain purpose in our life - that's why we hire it! In this episode Vern looks at why we use (or employ) porn and how we can find a better way to get these needs met. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more abou...

In this episode Vern likens our porn urges to a ticking stopwatch. What do we do when the stopwatch starts ticking? Better yet, is there a way to reset our ticking clock without relapsing! If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn mo...

Thee is a lot of talk in recovery circles about having an "accountability buddy" In this episode Vern talks about the lousy form of this (cop accountability) and proposes a better type of accountability relationship that is a lot more effective over time. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.co...

This episode continues from last episode and explores some further tools to get couples back on track who have experienced the crash of a porn discovery. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course F...

For those who have had porn mess up their marriage relationship, how can we begin to restore trust. In this episode Vern gives some ideas on how this can begin to happen and some tools to help us toward this goal. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recov...

Why is it so hard to let go of porn even though we know it only harms us? That vexing question is the one many of us have asked and one Vern explore today. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course...

In this episode Vern explores a simple but effective tool called "pre-commitments" that will keep you from having to exercise willpower over and over again - a willpower that eventually cracks. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or lea...

This episode has nothing to do with recovery - but about the shared NFL passion between Vern and a couple of other recovery coach friends. None of them know what they are talking about but they are passionate about it nontheless! If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out...

Living life in recovery is about dealing with two magnets. The magnet behind you that is seeking to pull you back into old behaviors and the possibility of a new magnet in front of you that pulls you forward into a better life. The relative strength of these two magnets will determine the direction you move in your recovery. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to conne...

It is alway interesting to run into guys who "used" to be in porn recovery groups. When you ask them the question "How You Been?" you get some interesting answers. In this episode we explore some of those responses (and what they may signify) If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want...

What does long term recovery look like? Matt Dobscheutz join Vern Tompke as they explore this question togethr If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video course Finding Traction go to the website: https://...