Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn

An important first step in porn recovery is learing to engineer in your environment to give you better chances of success in your movement away from porn behaviors. In part 2 we will teach you this proccess by addiction - adding things. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to ch...

An important first step in porn recovery is learing to engineer in your environment to give you better chances of success in your movement away from porn behaviors. In part 1 we will teach you this process by subtraction - removing things. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to...

One of the most important tools that gave me momentum towards a recovery tipping point is a powerful device called positive and negative reminders. Check it out - it's hardcore (for the hardcore - and the seriously committed) If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out mor...

It is no surpise that most people look at porn on their smart phones (or is it a dumb phone!) In this episode Vern gives specific advice for how he has turned his IPhone into an ally not an enemy. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or...

I'm not a big New Year's resolution guy but it can be helpful at the begining of a new season (like the start of a new year) to look ahead. Let this episode provide you the motivation to move forward intentionally rather than just continuing to stumble in the dark. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.car...

You may have heard of the porn superhighway - in other getting on the freeway of porn and wondering how to get off. This this episode Vern is joined by his friend John Fort (from Be Broken Ministries) as they discuss porn offramps. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check o...

Holidays can be tough because they throw us off our normal routine and give us all sorts of unplanned and free time. In this episode Vern talks about how to set yourself up for sucess for any coming holiday - in any given year! If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out m...

Rolos are those great individual caramel filled candies you may have tried. In this episode Vern talks about 3 different insights around recovery - a soccer coach that inspired him, an idea he calls "calculated freedom" and a challenging view on the "selfishness" of porn. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbroth...

In the previous episode - Vern (and Jeff) talked about some of the connections between the martial art of Jujitsu and porn recovery. In this podcast Vern continues to pull on what a difference Win/Loss vs Win/Learn has to do with how we deal and learn from our setbacks. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrother...

Vern's friend and pastor Jeff is somebody who is heavily involved in the martial art of Jujitsu. In this episode Vern talks with Jeff about how some of the insights he learned from this martial art can be applied to porn recovery If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out...

Do you notice how you often cycle through the same behaviours over and over without thinking about them? In this episode Vern takes the idea of an addiction cycle and applies it to the metaphor of a ticking stop watch. Getting a better idea of how this cycle works for you can lead to being more effective in early intervention - before it's too late (and you don't want to stop!) If you want to conn...

Many of us get discouraged along the way without our efforts to eliminate porn from our lives. One of the temptations we will face in this discouragement is to make a truce with porn - perhaps I can limit it or create safe acceptable boundaries to continue using it. In this episode Vern shows why this is not only self defeating but a dangerous line of thinking... If you want to connect with Vern d...

Generally it is good to be an optimist rather than a pessimist. After all who wants to be an Eeyore when you can be a Tigger right? But when it comes to recovery - optimism alone is not a workable strategy to effect true change in your life... If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you wan...

There are lot of shows about bad toxic girlfriends and how they continue to wreak havoc on our lives. Using this word picture, Vern explores how and why we continue to allow this toxic relationship to continue when what we really need is a clean break! If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com I...

Of course we are all special and unique - after all isn't that what our mothers told us? But when it comes to recovery - there are actually some common stepping stones that each of us will need to take. In this episode Vern explores some of those common steps and stages we will need to traverse. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email h...

What is the one rule that I tell every new guy starting out with recovery - the one rule that will set you on the right path like no other - listen to find out! If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video c...

One of the most confusing parts of recovery is that you can at times find yourself nostalgic or "missing porn". In this episode Vern explains that mystifying reality - especially when porn has brought so much pain and regret to you! If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check...

Most of us probably don't want to return to being six years old again but in this episode Vern explores some of the things that our six year old self could actually teach us some things when it comes to recovery! If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recove...

We may have heard the advice that it is not good to go shopping without a list - why - because we will probably come home with some things (and a bigger bill) than we intended. In this episode Vern explores that advice as it relates to porn recovery. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If...

Last episode Vern explored the topic of Joy and how it can be so elusive. Today Vern gives practical advice to how to practically invite joy back into your life! If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more porn recovery resources or learn more about the 52 Week Video...

If recovery is about moving towards a better life - one of those things is the return of Joy. In this episode Vern explores a classic book by Archibald Hard "Thrilled to Death" and explains how our recovery can teach us to relate properly to the concept of Joy If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gma...

I get inspiried by lots of things - recently when i was in a local high school teaching I saw an Indigneous Wheel that represented what a healthy and whole life should look like - i thought it had great applications to our recovery journey. Take a listen. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.co...

How does a couple restore their sense of closeness and teamwork - even after a disclosure (or discovery) of the presence of porn. In this episdoe Vern explores how to find a way from being Adversaries to being Allies in this trying time! If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to c...

In the hurt and pain that usually goes with the discovery of a husband's porn use - it is common for a wife to use an ultimatum to try to force change. At one level it makes sense but it can also have unintended consequences. In this episode Vern explores that question - when is an ultimatum helpful and when isn't it? If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with...

Recovery is about much more than avoiding triggers. In fact if that is your sole focus, it seems that more and more triggers appear around you. In this episode Vern outlines a tool called reframing which can change our perspective from seeing everything as a threat to be avoided. If you want to connect with Vern directly (and you know he loves to connect with guys!) you can email him at email: ban...