Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn

When I talk to guys about their journey out of porn they often remember how significant it was the first time they reached out to someone for help.  Today we talk about that experience and I explain how a phone (zoom) call would look and feel like as you take a step like that. If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning plat...

For most guys, the porn recovery journey does not represent a straight line but is more like a series of plateaus and tipping points. In this episode Vern explores why we hit plateaus (resistant points) and how new tipping points can further the sucess we are finding in our recovery. To download a copy of the diagram Vern refers to in this episode signp for the free circle learning app below.  If...

In this episode Vern explores how porn affects our ability to grow older with the wife of our youth.  In case you didn't realize it, you get older every year!  Is porn robbing your ability to grow older and still be contented with your wife who is also growing older? If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Jus...

It is not uncommon to get off to such a great start in our recovery journey but then find ourselves stalling out or "losing traction".  In this episode Vern talks about some ways to get your recovery back on track if that is what you are experiencing. If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the follow...

Today Vern shares an inspiring couple of bible verses that have recently encouraged him on his recovery journey and makes up his own new verse! If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE...

What do you do when you get bored?  What do you do when you want to just "kill some time".  In this episode Vern talks about how being unskillful in this area often leads us to negative results and some ways to "redeem this time" (or at least make it less problematic!) If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  J...

When porn is mentioned in media it is often joked about or minimized.  Now and again a serious article appears that actually describes the tsunami type effects it is having on people.  Today I want to read an article which focuses on these effects - especially in regard to young men. If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learni...

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background) https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9...

Hard to believe its been 200 Episodes of Finding Traction!  In this episode various men share about podcasts and lessons (from the Finding Traction course) that have been helpful in their recovery - here's to the next 200 episodes! If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get star...

Are you able to see images in your mind?  Do you struggle with fantasy as a result of carrying your own porn library betweeen your ears?  In this episode Vern talks about differences between people around these questions and how it effects our strategies of recovery? Here is the link to the TED talk that Vern references https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojttMNOW6zM&t=1s If you want to get access...

Do you ever think you may be a pervert or used that term to describe someone else?  In this episode Vern explores that term particularly in reference to the describe how big of a role sex plays in your thinking and behavior.  A diagram of this talk can be found on the circle learning app under free resources.  To access this diagram use the information below. If you want to get access to a host of...

Many men get into recovery and eventually start asking the question "How did I get here?"  One of the things that begins to crop up are questions around their formative years.  One of the books that has been so helpful for Vern and the men in his alumni groups is the book "From Broken Boy to Mended Man" Today Vern is thrilled to be able to interview the author of that book - Dr. Patrick Morley. He...

In the last episode we talked about the statement that "Arousal is not something that happens to us but something we engage with".  In this episode Vern talks about why that sometimes doesn't feel true and how we need to move from passive mode to active mode when it comes to experiencing arousal If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's C...

Today I lean on a bit of my bible teaching background to share some insights from the book of Romans - in fact two "triplets" which encourage me that this pathway of recovery of porn is good - not in fact it is REALLY good! If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if...

One of my recovery heroes (and recovery friends) is Matt Dobschuetz.  I recently heard a great episode on porn free radio where he spoke about being porn free for 15 years.  I loved it so much I wanted him to come on the podcast and talk a bit more about some of the concepts he shared. Here is the link to the episode on his  podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/365-the-one-thing-that-made...

Recently I heard some interesting information about the benefits of taking drugs like Ozempic and what happens when you stop.  It got me thinking about all sorts of interesting parallels with our recovery journey from embedded porn use. If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get...

What do people like Bill Buckner, Steve Smith, Scott Norwood, Andres Escobar, Steven Gerrard, and Tyler Loop have in common.  They are all professional athletes who made major screwups that cost their team success - in front of millions of people. Most of us won't have that level of public screwups but the question is how do we learn from our mistakes - our screwups - our relapses - in this episdo...

As you head into 2026 - rather than looking at the whole year why don’t you start with one day - one day at a time! The following is a simple exercise you can do daily to be proactive in your day and set yourself up for the best day possible! To download the worksheet for this episode follow the instructions for the learning platform circle below.  (the worksheet will be found under "Free Resource...

There are a number of challenging seasons of life where porn can re- emerge from the corners of our life.  One of these seasons is the season of midlife where we begin to re-evaluate (often negatively) some of the decisions we have made and the places we find ourselfs.  In this episode Vern talks about his own experience in this season and gives pointers on how to navigate through this seasn and c...

When a lot of us started out on this porn recovery journey we had a very limited view of what it was to be porn free?  In this episode Vern talks about the expanding understanding that he underwent and that a lot of guys go through as they move toward greater freedom in their life. If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning...

Passion is good - purpose is better.  In this episode Vern talks about a change he has made to how people checkin their weeks and why connecting people with their purpose is a better metric than helping (often unsuccessfully) men find something they are passionate about. If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. ...

In this episode, Vern is joined by his Australian buddy Matt who talks about inside out recovery. In a desire for a wholistic model of behavior change, it is necessary to recognize that the most sustainable version of change comes from a deep sense of belonging which informs our beliefs.  Out of that core, comes deep lasting change that can stand the test of time. If you want to get access to a ho...

There is a lot written these days about the role of dopamine in our addictive struggle with porn.  One of the books "Dopamnine Nation" talks a lot about dopamine and seems to give some fairly straightword system to hack the system of recovery.  In this episode we talk about how this book and a pure "dopamine approach" can be helpful in our recovery and where it presents an incomplete picture in re...

Last week we popped the baloon that said that the recovery journey is simple or quick.  We spoke about how long it takes to break a habit in a sustained way.  Today we talk about some of the highlights we will experience on a guided tour away from porn.  This guided tour explains the roadblocks we need to overcome, what are the challenges we face, and what are the benefits we will experience along...

There are a lot of claims on the internet about helping you quite porn in just a few weeks.  Sounds great - right?  In this episode Vern takes a bit of a deeper dive into the real issues (and the amount of time) that is usually needed to quit a compulsive embedded behavior such as porn. If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle lea...