Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn

Many guys express that they have noticed that their acting out tends to be cyclical and regular.  They often feel that they come up to a wall that they cannot get over in terms of days clean.  in this episode Vern talks about how to ovecome these embedded walls that have tripped us up. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmai...

Most peoople who struggle with porn actually believe some version of the mistaken belief "I'll die without sex"  In this episode Vern explores how that belief may be closer to home than you care to admit. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course...

In this episode Vern shares a useful tool to be more strategic in how you handle this coming summer.  If you want a copy of this weekly planning tool - as well as a number of other helpful resources  you can access this by joining the bandofbrothers.care learning community. Create an account using the following link.  If privacy is of concern to you, feel free to use an alias or just your initials...

One of the biggest strategic challenges in our recovery is dealing with the many transitions we face.  In this episode I look at the challenges of these transitions - both big and small. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course as well as a month...

Do you ever feel like the enemy is seeking to push past your borders and take ground that should be rightfully yours.  Today we use the example of the war in Ukraine as an example of the steps we need to take to regain lost territory in our life. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding tract...

My favorite recovery practise is actually an ancient spiritual practise that helps me throughout the day ... it actually was best taught by a Catholic dishwasher hundreds of years ago - take a listen... If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course as...

When most of us started recovery we thought we needed to just tweak a few things so that stopped our problematic porn patterns.  What we soon find, however, is that recovery is a window into the disfynctional way we have been doing our lives and a springboard into a whole new set into new life patterns! If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandof...

Is our porn drive the same as our sex drive?  In this episode Vern explores the differences between the two and how returning to our normal sex drive is the goal of our porn recovery. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course as well as a monthly...

Anybody who has been at porn recovery for a while can identify with the natural drift that can take place.  When we take our hands off the steering wheel - this drift can lead us into the ditch or into oncoming traffic! If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 wee...

Most of us would like to reverse engineer our last relapse so it doesn't happen again.  In this episode Vern looks at the idea of 3 different dimensions of a relapse and how to reverse anticipate what will take place when we are drawn to porn the next time. In today's lesson we also introduce our brand new Finding Traction Community for those who subscribe for $10/month.  On the last Sunday night...

What happens when life feels "Meh..."  Today we talk about the term recovery doldrums - the feeling that you could use a pick me up to compensate for feeling "off". In today's lesson we also introduce our brand new Finding Traction Community for those who subscribe for $10/month.  On the last Sunday night of each month we will be offering our subscribers an opportunity to connect with other like m...

Is there as way to look at our recovery in a series of stages. In this episode Vern looks at some of the stages common to recovery, how we can get stuck at any one stage, and how we can proceed to truly walking a life of freedom and blessing. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you are looking for some free resou...

There is a funny super bowl ad that says to remember something you need to forget something. In this podcast Vern talks about the role that forgetting plays in our relapses and the need to bring specific things to mind. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you are looking for some free resources as well as informa...

When I tell guys about what caused a tipping point in my recovery - I often forget to include an event that helped cement some of the recovery changes that were happening. In this episode I explore the value of that experience by inviting Daugherty of Be Broken Ministry to discuss what can be an invaluable recovery experience - the Intensive. If you want to connect with Vern (and he loves to hear...

There are two opposite ditches we can get into when we are walkg out our recovery. One is the despair (Mission Impossible) that creeps in when we relapse or fail to live up to the best hopes of our intentions. The other is the over confidence (Mission Accomplished) that we want to leap to when we are having a few good days or weeks! In this episode Vern talks about how to navigate between these tw...

Being at home on a "snow day" gives you time to think. In this episode Vern talks about how to "keep your road clean" as well as the NFL advice given to it's new rookies "Nothing good happens after midnight". If you want to connect with Vern about the finding traction course, joining one of the Traction groups or just have a zoom call with him to get started on your recovery you can contact him at...

Ever heard about PIED? - it stands for Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. In this episode Vern explores a not so fun topic through making fun of his anemic football team's playoff performance. To contact Vern you can reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. As he mentions regularly - he loves to connect with guys who are looking at making changes in their life around their problematic po...

It is popular these day to write a "12 rules for Life" to try to replicate the success that Jordan Peterson had in his book (whatever you think of him). In this episode Vern shares a fun rule from Malcolm Gladwell's 12 rules and then gives his own shot at writing 12 rules for recovery. To contact Vern you can reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. As he mentions regularly - he loves to...

As we head into 2024 Vern shares about a tool that has been helpful for him as he starts out a brand new year. It just so happens that this one leads Vern into making changes that are long overdue! To contact Vern you can reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. As he mentions regularly - he loves to connect with guys who are looking at making changes in their life around their problemat...

In golf, a Mulligan is a do-over where you pretend that you're last shot never happened! What are the ways that mulligan thinking gets in the way of us progressing toward health and wholeness in our recovery? This is an especially important podcast as we near the end of the year! To contact Vern you can reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. As he mentions regularly - he loves to conne...

To quote Kevin Costner from the Postman - "is stuff getting better" for you in your recovery? In today's episode Vern explores a number of ways that we can determine if we are growing and moving forward in our recovery - or stalled out and stuck. To connect with Vern you can email him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com or check out the website for further resources https://www.bandofbrothers.care Ar...

It makes a huge difference whether you see your recovery as a project to complete or a process (or way of living). In this episode Vern outlines the difference and how this makes a major difference on the way we experience recovery hope for the long haul. To contact Vern you can reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. As he mentions regularly - he loves to connect with guys who are look...

Recently a politician covered over a lie he made about his heritage saying he never said he was Jewish - he only said he was Jew-ish. "Ish" is a word which means we are not quite something or the other. We can also be "ish" in our recovery in ways that sabotoge our desires to be free from porn. This podcast explores some of those ways. To contact Vern you can reach out to him at bandofbrothers.car...

Are you a deer hunter? I'm not. But one of the guys I coach is and he shares some fascinating and fun parallels with things he learned in deer hunting which specifically apply to our journey away from porn. After all who wants to end up on someone's trophy wall? To contact Vern you can reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. As he mentions regularly - he loves to connect with guys who a...

One of the absolutely central tools to move forward in your recovery is to combat discontentment through the practise of gratitude. This podcasts gives you some pratical handles for how to grow in your recovery gratitude. If you want to connect with Vern directly you can contact him at... email: bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com If you want to check out more about him or the finding traction course go...