Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn

Did you ever start a day feeling "off".  Today's podcast is all about "dialling your day" in to maximize the chance of the day going well. If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name...

This episode is a bit different.  One of the benefits of recovery from constantly battling with porn is that you can now start to think more clearly about how you want your life to go.  In this episode Vern shares 10 principles he has landed on to guide his thoughts and actions. A summary of these principles is found on the circle learning platform under Free Resources. This is how sign up for the...

One of the biggest challenges that is new in the porn recovery area is the new pattern of staying away from porn but engaging in all sorts of porn adjacent behaviors.  Sure its not porn but it is just a perpetuation of the same sort of addictive behavior with the same sort of negative results.  In this episode Vern challenges us to change the way we look at some of our online behaviors. If you wou...

We spend a lot of time trying to block ourselves from external threats using content filters, removing problematic apps etc.  The peskier problem, however, has to do with our emotions.  Wherever we go there we are.  In this episode Vern unpackages what those problematic emotions are, the way porn promises to meet those emotions and how we can transtion to meeting those real emotional needs in heal...

What is the actual problems that porn causes men?  Wtihout needing to take on the porn industry - I walk through as succintly as I can some of the common side effects that are proving so problematic with porn.  So here's to avoiding a punch in the face! A summary of this article is found on my free circle platform. If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encoura...

We are starting a brand new group for 2025!  This group will consist of 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course.  Our next group will be starting January 2025 on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern.  If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com.  To access my website - go to https://bandofbrothe...

Today It is my priviledge to introduce a fellow recovery coach.  Sathiya Sam has an inspiring story of how to walk free from porn and move towards a larger vision for one's life. Sathiya Sam's podcast is called "Man Within" and his recovery resources can be accessed at https://www.sathiyasam.com/ We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding...

As we get ready for Christmas - I thought I'd fill our stockings with some random recovery ideas.  Yes they are random - but in them hopefully you can find something to avoid being nice (not naughty) this holiday season! We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course.  Our next group will be starting on Wednesdays at 9 pm. East...

Last weeks' episode felt unfinished to me.  I thought it would be great to have to have my fellow coach Matt Dobscheutz come on and add his thoughts to the topic of why some guys fail to achieve the recovery success they say they desire.  We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course.  Our next group will be starting on Wednes...

I have coached guys in porn recovery groups for many years.  Over the years I have seen various guys try various things that have proven to be unhelpful in overcoming porn.  In today's episode I explore 6 ways that I think that guys (even guys in groups) set themselves up to be unsuccessful in recovery. We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the f...

When I meet new guys I like to ask them this question "How did porn get embedded in your life?"  Over and over again I hear some version of the same story.  Today I want to talk about the process about how porn became a problem for you because it provides clues for how we can begin to journey out of it. We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the f...

Vern has been down in Brazil working with couples around marriage and men in the area of recovery.  Take a listen to some of his thoughts and screwups direct from the land down under (the other land down under) We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life.  We have a a group for young guys, a...

November 5th is a big day - its Guy Fawkes Day, Vern's Birthday and yes - the American election.  How deal with the big feelings that will follow the election can make us truly vulnerable to relapse.  Vern walks through how we navigate these strong emotions. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a b...

There are two types of pathways we can walk in recovery - Plan A is the one we prefer and we have all tried it - unsuccessfully.  This episode is about Plan B - and why we end up having to follow this route. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life.  We have a a group for young guys, a gr...

A big step of recovery is when you turn around and help guys who are not as far along the journey as you are.  Mac is one of the guys I coach and he has created a great podcast that he shares with younger guys - it's called porn free millenial and you can access it here.  https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/porn-free-millennial-podcast/id1688517945 On the episode Mac and I discuss how you can co...

What is the Primal Need which drives your behaviors, informs your fears and causes you to reach for your medicine jar? (porn)  In this episode Vern asks the question "If porn is our favorite solution, then what is the primal question  we are seeking to answer or problem we  are seeking to solve? If you are interested in reading the book, 7 Primal Questions, the author has the first three chapters...

We all know the things that we want to leave behind - do we have a clear sense of what we want to see grow in our life?  In this episode Vern shares the result of a brainstorming session he did with a group of guys around the things they wanted to move toward.  Funny thing - they all start with "C". We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around wal...

When it comes to living in sustained recovery two of the most problematic words we can utter are the words "What If".  Today I unpackage why those two words get us in trouble more often than we realize. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life.  If you want more information on these group...

I've heard a number of pretty dumb things in coaching guys.  I've even thought and said a few of them myself - the following are six of the dumbest things that I have come across. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life.  If you want more information on these groups email me at bandofbro...

frEver been in a bad recovery group? Ever felt nervous about joining a group because of the many ways it could go wrong?  In this episode Vern explores how to tell when a group is toxic and when it is healthy. We are starting up new Finding Traction groups in September 2024.  Normally groups are $149/month but if you sign up by August 31 - Vern is offering them at the old price of $99/month.  The...

Have you ever heard of the saying "Eat Your Frogs"  I hadn't!  But today we talk about an issue that many porn strugglers have embedded in their lives - their propensity to procastinate! Vern has a brand new circle learning platform for people looking for connection and free resources in their recovery from porn.  To get access to this platform join up using the following link - if privacy is a co...

What if we have a relapse after a long period of sobriety?   In this episode Vern shares from his life about how demoralizing this can be but also how to get back up on our feet with the proper perspective. Vern has a brand new circle learning platform for people looking for connection and free resources in their recovery from porn.  To get access to this platform join up using the following link...

Ever seen that Snickers Ad - "I'm not myself when I'm hungry"?  Today we introduce a marriage tip called Filters that has been of immense benefit to myself.  To add a living example I introduce one of my coaching clients, Jim, who has applied this to his marriage. I love to help guys walk away from porn toward a fuller richer live. If you are looking for some free resources go to the website bando...

What if you could write a letter to the younger version of yourself?  What would you say?  In this episode Vern introduces the idea of writng a letter to the future you - towards a specific recovery application. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video...

Remember what it's like to walk out of the final exam of your degree or finish a project you have been working on for years?  Today Vern shares is sense of accomplishment regarding a recovery project he has been laboring over for the last few years. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding tr...