Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery

Peg joins us to talk about her more secular conception of a Higher Power, informed by her background in philosophy and the life and work of William James. While working the steps and doing the fearless and thorough moral inventory, she explains how Hume’s list of virtues can come into play. As we redefine our approach to self-esteem in recovery, we can think of it as “knowing how to belong to ours...

If you’re disturbed about something, we encourage investigating what’s beneath that disturbance. This episode we explore the psychological mechanism called projection, and what it can teach us about ourselves as we try to live our lives more meaningfully and effectively.   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs     Email...

With the serenity prayer, we try to figure out the things in our lives that we have the power to change. Here, Thom and Patrick mull the discipline that it takes to be in a practice of emotional sobriety.   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs     Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com Email Allen: abphd@msn.com   All...

In preparation for the forthcoming high calorie sit-downs many of us are having with friends and family this week, Allen and Patrick run down a list of the twelve most common things that mess up the holidays. First we’ll identify the mistakes, then we’ll discuss some strategies of avoiding them. As with so many other issues on the podcast, a lot of this comes down to managing expectations.     Her...

Allen’s big Italian dinners. Thom getting kicked by a horse. Patrick learning what to do with his hands, now that he’s no longer getting loaded. There’s a lot to unpack when it comes to our expectations for ourselves and others surrounding the holidays. Today we discuss how we might be more present for our loved ones in the days ahead, or how to cope when we can’t find that Hallmark enjoyment arou...

At a certain point (or maybe various points) along the recovery way, we each develop an awareness of what we might call our own inner wisdom, but rather than make proper use of this amazing resource, we have a tendency to continue searching for answers outside of ourselves. Even before recovery, despite passages of stumbling through dysfunctional lives, we gain wisdom. Cultivating discipline is ho...

Allen tells us about his formative years enlisting in the marines, Vietnam, alcohol and drugs. Thom of early struggles working as a counselor at an addiction treatment center and drinking off the clock. Both eventually found grace and recovery and now try to pay it forward. At the International Conference of Secular AA, we look at Bill Wilson’s letter through a magnifying glass. If the 12 Steps ar...

Let's return to fundamental questions of what Emotional Sobriety is, and why we consider it the “next frontier." How do we build support systems, and how do we maintain them? How do we stay connected without losing ourselves? This is where notions of differentiation come in. It’s important not to idealize the group, but take what works and leave the rest.   Join us next week for our “live” episode...

How can we measure our progress (or lack there of) in productive ways? Learning to separate from self-condemnation & create/embrace health self-critique. Includes learning to give ourselves credit where credit is due, to build on successes & to forgive our fuck-ups without letting ourselves off the hook. Joe C. from Rebellion Dogs joins Thom and Allen this week.   Join us for our upcoming...

Let’s exercise more authority and agency over our lives. Moving towards a focus on being rather than having. A bit of Buddhist wisdom: Be careful to not mistake the finger pointing at the moon for the moon itself. A bit of Emotional Sobriety wisdom: Emotional sobriety are two words pointing towards the moon.   The philosophy, concepts and methodologies associated with Emotional Sobriety are tools...

Let’s talk about how essential the practice of living in the moment is to the condition we call emotional sobriety. AND about how radical living in the moment can actually be.     Join us for our upcoming live show at the International Conference of Secular AA, on October 29th: aasecular.org   Follow us on social media. Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2   Email Thom: thomrutledgeaut...

Defining a self-esteem based on humility and an appropriate estimation of ourselves, our successes and failures. Cultivating this newfound sense of self is essential to coming into closer alignment with reality. Allen closes with some suggestions for exercises we can do to get the ball rolling on clearer appraisals of ourselves that could lead us towards change.   Learn more about our upcoming liv...

Author and podcast host Joe C. of Rebellion Dogs Publishing joins Allen and Thom to discuss a “yes, and” rather than “no, but,” maximally inclusive approach to recovery.   Learn more about Joe C. and listen to his show, Rebellion Dogs: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/     Learn more about our upcoming live show at the International Conference of Secular AA, on October 29th: aasecular.org   Fol...

We’re joined this week by Gina Ryan, who in her work with clients and on her weekly podcast imparts some of her vision for how to live with anxiety, bring its level down and develop greater self-compassion. Gina’s pursuits as an anxiety coach and Thom and Allen’s as therapists and practitioners of emotional sobriety are often one and the same.   Learn more about Gina Ryan and her podcast on the An...

In observance of Labor Day, let’s talk about how to keep our emotional center of gravity in an environment that taxes us constantly. Whether it’s financial stress, caustic co-workers, or abusive bosses, the dynamic remains: the problem itself is less important than our reaction to it. If we can keep the ball in our court when navigating these issues, doors will begin opening for us left and right....

Allen and Thom reunite after some time off for labor and travel. Today we spend some time digging into intimacy and relationships, with a spotlight on Thom’s book, What Love Is which seems to have only become truer and more relevant in the years since its publication. Next week for Labor Day, we'll discuss emotional sobriety in the workplace so stay tuned!.   You can find a copy of What Love Is on...

From relapses to climate catastrophes to dropping the ball at work, fears of both the immediate and existential varieties assert themselves in our daily lives at a constant clip. We can manage them and in some cases neutralize and overcome them completely with a greater dose of emotional sobriety. Thom Rutledge cites his own book Embracing Fear and digs into his own recent anxieties to shed some l...

Allen's conception of recovery as a consciousness of freedom meets Tommy's holistic recovery approach that doesn’t shy away from the 12 steps. Our guest touches on the effectiveness of yoga, the raging debate over a pharmacological approach to recovery, and especially the recent resurgent interest in psychedelics and “microdosing” in treating addiction. We must marshal as much "recovery capital" a...

The pursuit of greater emotional sobriety can allow us to mobilize our disappointments to take action in our lives, rather than being demoralized and demolished by them. Thom, Allen, and Patrick discuss how.    Follow us on social media. Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2     Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com Email Allen: abphd@msn.com   Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Reveal...

How we react to the disappointments we face in our relationships, in ourselves, and our politics is at the heart of emotional sobriety, because of how they come crashing into our unreasonable expectations and unenforceable rules. This week we focus on the process of investigating those disappointments to understand what they’re doing to us and how. Next week we’ll discuss how to mobilize them to a...

From parents to found families to George Washington, Thom and Allen delve into lessons learned from various mentors throughout their lives to discuss how emotional sobriety comes into play as we try to follow our role models' examples.   Follow us on social media. Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com Email Allen: abphd@msn.com harmonyhollowfarm....

We cannot deal with the suffocation of our interrelated nihilism and perfectionism without confronting our self-hate. Allen brings in the work of Dr. Karen Horn to expand on this notion. Humans are “part animal, part god,” and resolving that dissonance is the crux of emotional sobriety.   Register for “ Face to Face with Perfectionism ,” a 3-hour Zoom workshop with Thom Rutledge & Brian Lutz....

With the savage political climate bearing down on Patrick and the weight of alcoholism and various other -isms contributing to a prevalent pessimistic chorus many of us endure daily, Allen and Thom dissect what it means to have nihilism and how we can push back against it. One major antidote is greater emotional sobriety.   Follow us on social media. Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge...

Allen, Thom, and Patrick reflect on their first time meeting in person since the show’s inception.   Follow us on social media. Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2   Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com Email Allen: abphd@msn.com   Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed : https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+sec...

Today we observe the ways we can practice these principles to accept our differences with our parents, find richer connections with them, or deal with the distress that arises when we’re in conflict.   Follow us on social media. Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2   Register for Allen and Thom’s upcoming workshop: The Path to Inner Peace and Emotional Freedom Sunday, June 26th 2022. 1...