Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery

As much as we strive to cultivate our emotional sobriety, learning to lean on self-support rather than environmental support, those expectations and rules inevitably come creeping back in, and that’s okay. We’re resistant to sudden changes in circumstance because they force us to locate our center of gravity all over again. Using the present moment as fully as we can is a key to surviving the curv...

Health care and financial insecurity are just a couple of the subjects Thom, Joe, and Patrick touch on as they contemplate how life’s most challenging dynamics truly put our emotional sobriety to the test.   Thom Rutledge’s “Let Fear Be Your Teacher”: https://www.thomrutledge.com/_files/ugd/e71801_8293179808864a26bd9b105520d458eb.pdf   His book,  Embracing Fear :  https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-...

What does it mean to respect ourselves, and how can we put it to work once we’ve attained some physical sobriety and begin to move towards greater emotional freedom? Joe C. from Rebellion Dogs joins us from a workshop at Hazelden Minnesota to lend his perspective.   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Erving Polster’...

Allen references Erving Polster’s book while contemplating how the broad span of our lives have a dramatic richness and fullness that can illuminate crucial details about our present. Patrick celebrates 5 years of continuous sobriety.   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Erving Polster’s book referenced in the episo...

Picking up with Thom Rutledge about his recent struggles with depression, something that’s been with him since his early days of recovery. This form of crisis dovetails with a passage from Allen’s 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety : “Getting stuck is our signal that it’s time to learn something new. The trouble we are experiencing, wherever it’s showing up in our lives, is highlighting...

The team unpacks their month of hard knocks and give their best shot at illustrating how life's heaviest challenges can deepen our recovery, aid us on the path towards greater emotional freedom, and improve alignment with our emerging value system. Joe C. of Rebellion Dogs joins us to help bring a candle into the darkness.   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: tho...

Part of our mission statement as we move towards greater emotional freedom is to have the best possible attitude towards life, towards ourselves, and towards others. First we must become aware of what our attitude is. We must engage our curiosity, and find our willingness to change. As we search for what to do, we avoid the impulse to blame. The taking of responsibility and assigning of blame cann...

Foundational to Emotional Sobriety is the recognition that we aren’t bad people trying to be good people. We’re simply trying to take responsibility for our part, and to have more agency over our lives. Integrating our experiences is a way to do it - not negating any part of who we are. This is why the amends call forth and demand to be addressed. We are always moving towards wholeness.   Follow u...

Decades after his service in the Vietnam War, Allen realized the extent of his disability and trauma after a chance encounter with a fellow veteran at a 12 step meeting. First he felt anger, but with time and investigation he found deeper layers to how his experience in the war affected him. This crisis put his emotional sobriety to work in a big way. Confronting what has long been suppressed is a...

With some inspiration from W. Timothy Gallwey’s The Inner Game of Tennis (one of the only self-help books Thom has ever read) and Allen’s metaphor of the gymnast’s precision moving across a balancing beam, we return again to how Emotional Sobriety can be put into practice. In particular, locating the "emotional center of gravity" inside ourselves allows us to be more present for our loved ones: in...

Brian Lutz and Thom Rutledge recently encountered critical challenges in their marriages that tested their capacity for acceptance. Acceptance of their partners’ medical outcomes as well as their own messiness and shortcomings. Running towards, rather than away from their most uncomfortable feelings has helped them locate their emotional center of gravity inside themselves, rather than the shiftin...

Locating our authentic self in the midst of our warring inner committee and standing our ground - not against others but for ourselves - is at the crux of emotional sobriety.   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed : https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connect...

A we engage with the recovery impetus to be of service to others, In addition to the reward there may also an activation of guilt and other issues tied to our early experiences with our family of origin. Allen shines a light on the importance of integrating taking care of ourselves with taking care of others. These drives are inextricable from each other, and push us towards greater emotional sobr...

Recovery (and Emotional Sobriety) are contagious! Joe Chisholm returns to the pod to chat with Thom and Patrick about the benefits we can reap from looking outward, focusing on mutual aid rather than self-help. 12 Step recovery groups are “chaordic,” “communitarian” spaces where we can find the structure we need but also the latitude to be spontaneous. As we step into a more conscious life of reco...

As we become more awakened in emotional sobriety, we begin to challenge all our old ideas. The power struggle of emotional dependency and the temptation to frame our experience according to "shoulds," are hurdles to overcome. To cast ourselves in a negative light because we fail, lose, or are disappointed is living a life that’s only partially lived.   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @...

How can we learn to live in better alignment with our values? Some of our values are unconscious, and benefit by being brought into the light. We run into problems when we identify more with our false selves than our genuine selves. Where we are with our self-esteem can have a massive influence on how these dynamics play out.   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram:...

Thom and Allen hold down the fort to discuss the role of honesty in therapy. Allen shares the profoundly positive feedback he received from someone who brought Emotional Sobriety to their recovery while in prison.   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed : https://www.amazon.com...

It feels good to judge. What does that reveal about ourselves, and how can we work on putting this energy to better use? Exploring how our tendency towards righteous indignation, or “maddiction,” intersects with emotional sobriety.   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed : http...

Thom and Allen discuss what it means to be "radically honest." Radical honesty begins with self-honesty. We can’t do it with other people if we don’t first understand ourselves.   Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com Email Allen: abphd@msn.com   Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed : https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+se...

Thom and Patrick dig into their rocky pre-recovery days, charting the evolution their consciousnesses have taken.  While encountering challenges, k eep it simple. Each day presents an opportunity to overthink things. Uncoupling from the notion of perfection is key. Emotional Sobriety is something we strive towards, a North Star that we’ll never fully reach. The practice is a constant unfolding, wh...

Allen and Thom welcome longtime contributor to the Emotional Sobriety community Tom Potash to talk about his decades-long recovery journey, the letting go that sports fandom can require, and a more philosophy-based conception of the process of relying less on environmental support and more on self-support.   Please subscribe to Tom Potash’s channel, where his workshops and 12 Step studies can be f...

Recovery stalwart Richard Warner had to announce himself as a newcomer after decades in the program, a formative experience that he’s grateful for today. With Thom and Allen he walks us through his journey from the depths of addiction to the daily striving for greater Emotional Sobriety.   Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com Email Allen: abphd@msn.com   Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Reveal...

Roger Andes discusses his body-oriented work as a therapist, cultivating connections with others and within himself revolving around the preservation of integrity. Being deeply connected to others while also being connected to ourselves need not be goals that cut against each other. Almost always, there is a path to both.   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thom...

Longtime collaborator, first-time guest Herb K. joins us to discuss the role of meditation in his daily practice, and how being in alignment with reality is foundational in our evolution towards emotional sobriety. Allen, Thom, and Patrick check in about their greatest lessons and challenges in 2022, looking ahead to the promise of a new year.   Thank you for being with us through these episodes....

This week we share our thoughts on receiving & offering guidance to other addicts across a wide span of experience as we navigate the recovery highway. Joe C. from Rebellion Dogs returns to the show to weigh in.    Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs     Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com Email Allen: abphd@m...