Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Throughout their 17 year union, the presence of pornography cast a shadow over Sandra and her husband’s relationship, steadily eroding its foundation. Initially, Sandra dismissed it, swayed by the notion that incorporating porn could add a spark to their connection. However, as time unfolded, she witnessed alarming shifts in her husband's behavior—his inability to heed her pleas for gentleness, de...

When Lee initially encountered Janna's messages about sex on her podcast, he felt victimized. It seemed to him as though blame for bad sex in marriage was being cast solely on men, leading him to internalize it as his personal responsibility. However, with time, he gradually grasped the profound message she aimed to convey – that the distorted notions about sex ingrained in our society are a produ...

Elle believed she was grappling with low libido as she reached the age of 50, having been married for 25 years with three children in college. Intimacy in her relationship had become a burdensome task, postponed for weeks at a time until guilt finally compelled her to engage. She considered this ebb in desire as a typical aspect of this stage in life. It wasn't until Janna helped Elle compassionat...

Janna dives into a question she receives often from women looking into her Wanting It More program: "Will this work for me if I don't feel anything during sex?" A powerful misconception exists in our culture that something is wrong with a woman if she doesn't experience intense sensations during intercourse. Many of these women are labeled with “low libido” or “low sex drive.” Janna challenges the...

Everyone talks about getting more rest, but what does it truly mean to rest? Is it just about lying still and doing nothing? Join Janna and her good friend, Dr. Laura Froyen, as they dive into the world of rest in this delightful conversation. They explore various types of rest – physical, emotional, mental, social, spiritual, sensory, and creative – unraveling the true essence of what rest aims t...

Ellen bravely opens up about her journey with Vaginismus, a condition she discovered on her wedding night when she and her husband tried to have intercourse for the first time. A moment that should have been filled with joy and excitement left Ellen feeling gutted and cheated, particularly because she and her husband had eagerly waited until marriage to share this experience. Vaginismus is a compl...

Janna talks to the author of one of her most recommended books, "Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy." In this captivating conversation with Dr. Tina Schermer Seller, a licensed therapist specializing in sex and gender issues, they discuss her research of the Christian Conservative church and the rise of abstinence-only education and purity culture in the e...

The dream of having a family can quickly darken in the face of fertility issues. Sex suddenly becomes a highly monitored business, filled with immense pressure and  crushing timelines. 33 year-old Bridget endured three tumultuous years of IVF treatments, invasive medical procedures, severe sickness, and the trauma of pregnancy losses, all while living through the stress and isolation of Covid...

When asked, "What do you like to do for pleasure?", Crissie’s response was, "That's a hard question for me.” Many women will relate to Crissie’s do-everything-for-everyone-except-myself mentality. This 40-year-old mother of four spent years consumed with providing for the needs of her young family. Figuring out her own needs, wants and enjoyments were at the very bottom of her to-do list, especial...

If you've ever dealt with painful or uncomfortable sex, this episode is a must listen. For years, Anna tolerated the trauma of painful intercourse. She describes the pain as feeling like rug burn for hours afterward. She was eventually diagnosed with vaginismus. Although she found pelvic floor therapy helpful, she didn't feel understood by her therapist and was left feeling even more sexually brok...

Alyssa is a 31-year-old high school educator who’s been married to her high school sweetheart for 9 years. When she became sexually active in high school, she was terrified of pregnancy. Even though she was using birth control, she was so anxious for weeks afterward that it was hard to function. Once she was married and decided to start a family, Alyssa experienced two back-to- back miscarriages....

On the final day of our latest Wanting It More  round, I gathered all the wonderful husbands and wives together for a warm farewell Zoom call. During this heartwarming session, I posed the question, "What's been your most significant takeaway from this journey?" Their honest responses moved me to tears. At just eight weeks into their Wanting It More adventure, these couples have already made...

I'm answering the most frequent questions I get about my online program, Wanting It More, which is now open for registration for the Oct./Nov. round. I think it’s THE best online program out there for helping women with low libido want and enjoy sex more, while also supporting their husbands so they can create a nourishing, fun, connecting sex life as a team with nobody being blamed other than cul...

Everything Stuart learned about sex was from what he saw in media. Therefore, he understood sex to be a passionate, dramatic, climatic, sweaty event that occurs frequently and is mind blowing every time. Not surprisingly, this is not the type of sex life that Stuart had in his 12 year marriage. In this extremely honest conversation with Janna, Stuart describes the slow decline of sex in his marria...

Helen’s biggest realization during Wanting It More was owning the fact that she wasn’t taking responsibility for her own pleasure. Her lack of enjoyment in the sexual experience wasn’t all about her husband and what he was or wasn’t doing for her. She was allowing things to happen in the bedroom that she didn’t enjoy that created feelings of boredom, frustration, annoyance, even pain, but she didn...

Jenn grew up in a conservative Christian household and received her sex education from church events and camps (based on purity culture with the message that sex before marriage is a HUGE sin) and her high school sex ed class (which left her terrified of pregnancy and STDs).  Not surprisingly, this education left her with a lot of shame around sex and her sexual interest in general. Married f...

There's a big promise out there that we often hear in our culture...if you wait until marriage to have sex it will be the most united and amazing experience of your life! Yet, for many couples, the opposite tends to be true. Sex can feel awkward, weird, and unsatisfying. The lesson from youth that sex is bad is hard to suddenly shake once "I do" is said. The same feelings of shame and guilt around...

Do you have a hard time saying no to your husband's sexual advances for fear of hurting his feelings? So many women I teach say they feel internal pressure and duty to give in and get it over with when it comes to sex with their husband.  No wonder so many women aren’t enjoying the sexual experience! Here’s what took me a long time to figure out: saying “no” empowers you to say “yes” to the t...

Struggling to find the importance of sex in marriage after 60? I’m talking to Diane, a teacher and musician in her sixties with three grown children. Despite being an educator, Diane admits to knowing nothing about sexual relationships in her youth and “assuming the guys knew what they were doing.” In this incredibly tender and inspiring episode, we talk about her journey with duty sex for almost...

Today we’re talking about foreplay and why I don’t think more foreplay, typically prescribed to women with low libido, is the answer to enjoying sex more. I believe it does more harm to women than good. Curious to know why? Listen in as I discuss three reasons why the goal to increase sexual arousal through foreplay is problematic. I also offer tips on what to try instead to help you focus on what...

This episode is for the men listening out there! I often get emails from husbands asking me for advice on what they can do to help their wife enjoy sex more. Maybe they’ve listened to my podcast or read my website, so these men already understand it’s not about labelling her with “low libido” or getting her to fix herself. They understand there is a much larger societal issue behind her lack of de...

Have you heard the advice to "spice things up" to keep your sex life alive? Get kinky, say dirty words, try new positions, watch porn. I tried all of these things and more in my marriage to increase my low sex drive but I was left feeling empty, unsatisfied and unaligned with myself.   I believe the key to more connected intimacy is becoming more of who you are in the sexual experience, not p...

For the first time, I'm offering support to husbands in my Wanting It More program, and I'm learning a lot about why men find it hard to understand (and even believe) their wife's low desire for sex compared to their own. This is especially true when women haven't been honest about what they enjoy (and especially about what they don't enjoy) in the bedroom. In this episode, I'm sharing real exampl...

The examples we're shown of sex in movies and tv are ridiculous! I'm here to tell you that's not what real sex looks or sounds like (these are actors acting after all). Are you curious to know what connected sex actually looks like? In my Wanting It More program, I get vulnerable and share my own sexual experience with my program participants to help them understand a new way of conducting an inti...

We're missing out on true joy and connection with our partners and ourselves when we focus on the formulaic goals of sex. It's not all about orgasm! It's about getting curious to create and follow your own rules for your sexual wellness.  Laura and I chat about some of my best tips for creating a non-goal-oriented and mindful sexual connection. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Vi...