Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Crystal is a self-defined good girl. Since childhood, she was expected to, and praised for, doing as she was told and not rocking the boat. While this behavior was effective in her formative years, her passive nature had consequences on multiple levels in her 25-year marriage, including in the bedroom. Crystal shares her struggle with speaking up for herself or asking for help, and how her lack of...

Tyler and his wife struggled with intimacy throughout their 11 years of marriage. After meeting at 16 and waiting until marriage four years later, they both expected that the sexual experience would bring joy and fun to their lives, but it did not. His wife was plagued by pain, and after having two children, the exhaustion and stress of their lives dimmed all expressions of genuine connection and...

Emma vividly remembers losing her libido during her honeymoon. She and her husband had waited until marriage to have intercourse for the first time, and both were eagerly anticipating it. Initially, the experience was wonderful, but soon her desire vanished and never returned. For years, she tried everything she could think of to "fix" herself. She believed she was fundamentally broken or that som...

At 56, Samantha felt like her libido was lost without a map. She had faced medical issues, including adenomyosis and a full hysterectomy, but she knew her diminished desire went deeper than just these physical challenges. Intimacy with her husband had once been enjoyable, but her desire had gradually faded away without explanation. The advice from doctors was bewildering and often repulsive, leavi...

How and why do men separate the effects of their pornography use from their marriage? Andreas and Janna extensively discuss the rapid development of his addictive use of adult entertainment throughout his life, the reasons why he used it, his hundreds of failed attempts to quit, and what finally worked to become sober and save his marriage. Andreas also shares what he’s learned about emotional dys...

Colin grew up with two therapist parents, one of whom was a sex therapist. He learned a lot about emotions, sex, safety, consent, and talking openly from them. These things were really important to him and shaped his core values as he became a man. His wife also thought he was very caring, gentle, and understanding. But despite this, their sex life got worse over the 20 years they were married, an...

Kelly loved her husband of 20 years, but she noticed a change in her feelings toward intimacy over time, and she couldn't understand why. After some of their friends surprised them with divorce news, her husband worried about their own relationship, even though Kelly felt secure.  He thought the solution was for him to become more attractive, so he started working out, buying new clothes, and...

Nancy unfolds her 71-year journey, delving into three significant relationships and the tumultuous experiences within each. Enduring emotional abandonment, financial instability, and a constant sense of being invisible and invalidated, she shares the poignant struggle of feeling like a solitary voice crying out, yet unheard. However, amidst this turmoil, her narrative takes a turn when she encount...

Why are women conditioned to endure pain? Natalie reveals the multitude of reasons she persisted through painful sexual experiences with her husband for 27 years of their marriage. It wasn’t until she discovered Wanting It More that she realized the detrimental extent of what she was subjecting her body and mind to in order to fulfill societal expectations of being a good wife and meeting her husb...

David’s wife spent years expressing her dissatisfaction with their sex life, repeatedly sharing her feelings, but David remained skeptical. Despite her efforts, he couldn't accept her perspective. Influenced by adult entertainment and misinformation, he believed he was doing everything right, yet she didn't respond as expected, leading him to conclude there was something wrong with her. Throughout...

Michele bravely opens up about her tumultuous journey through relationships as a woman in her late 50s. She recounts the harrowing experiences of enduring compulsive lying, cheating, porn and sex addiction, abuse, and a pervasive lack of consent. Amidst the darkness, she discovered a beacon of hope in Janna, whose guidance led Michele on a transformative path towards healing and empowerment. Miche...

We delve into Raina's journey of rediscovering her desire for sex within her marriage. Despite a healthy upbringing with decent sexual education, positive body image, and safe and secure sexual experiences, Raina found herself losing interest in intimacy with her husband after getting married. After starting a personal journey which she affectionately calls ‘Raina’s Religious Rebellion’ she began...

When Lisa took the Wanting It More program a couple of years ago, she never imagined the valuable lessons she learned to improve her low libido would also come in handy when confronting a medical issue. Lisa talks in detail about her struggles with body image anxiety and gynecological exams that accompanied her journey to the diagnosis of Lichen Sclerosus, a rare skin disease that causes itchy and...

Kyle’s career in law enforcement defined him as a safe person, dedicating his life to keeping his community and those who live in it safe from harm. Imagine his surprise when he learned the root cause behind his dwindling sex life was because his wife felt unsafe around him. It took him several weeks of coaching with Janna to really understand the meaning of the word unsafe in the context of Wanti...

We delve into Laura's journey as a 40-year-old mother of three, navigating the intersection of her strong Christian faith and her sexuality. Growing up with little education about sex, Laura found herself prioritizing her partner's desires in the bedroom while neglecting her own. Struggling to balance her intuition with the teachings of her faith community, she grappled with conflicting messages a...

In this podcast episode we meet Nate, a devout Christian and father whose misconceptions about intimacy led to strain in his marriage of 15 years. Raised on media for his sexual education, Nate found himself bewildered by the disparity between his expectations and reality in the bedroom. It wasn't until he and his wife took the Wanting It More program that they uncovered years of unspoken discomfo...

Thilla shares her journey as a first-generation Canadian, shaped by her Sri Lankan heritage and North American upbringing. Raised in a family where discussions about sex were taboo and dating was reserved for an arranged marriage, she faced immense pressure and conflicting messages from both cultures. These challenges left her grappling with feelings of shame and guilt surrounding anything sexual....

Join Janna in this conversation filled with healing and hope as we delve into a topic often brushed aside: pornography addiction. She sits down with Justin, who bravely shares his 25-year struggle with excessive porn use and the profound impact it had on his relationships and self-esteem. Despite being told it's 'normal,' Justin's story sheds light on the dark realities of porn addiction and its d...

In response to countless requests, we're diving into a topic close to many hearts: how to talk to kids about sex. Meet Christina, a recent graduate of the Wanting It More program, who felt compelled to provide her children with the sexual education she never received. Her journey is all about empowering her kids to navigate their body and intimacy with confidence, steering clear of the challenges...

James had no reason to believe the ways he showed his wife affection, both sexual and non, was at all off-base. Afterall, he’d faithfully followed the rulebook he’d been taught in locker rooms and adult magazines throughout his 70 years and had success. He loved to look at and touch his wife to express his love and desire and happily assumed that his wife loved every ounce of his affection in retu...

Join Janna and her special guest, Melissa, the WIM Community Coordinator, in this heart-to-heart conversation about the transformative Wanting It More program. Discover who this incredible program is tailor-made for, as they share their personal journeys of dealing with low libido in marriage. Explore the diverse issues the program can address, and be inspired by stories of past participants who h...

William had it in his head that he wasn’t the problem when it came to his wife’s low sexual desire. Afterall, he was doing everything he had been taught to do to satisfy his wife…the only problem was his teachers were other men, our toxic culture, and pornography. William talks to Janna in detail about his experiences growing up as a person of colour, and the lessons he absorbed from media and cul...

Renee opens up to Janna about her six-year marriage to her white husband, exploring the intricacies of their age and ethnicity differences that created a soupy mix of misunderstandings around sexual desire, and her feelings of low libido. Renee, a biracial woman, brings a compassionate and curious lens to her experiences and exploration of black culture, shedding light on the pervasive hypersexual...

From the early stages of her life, Rowen discovered immense fulfillment in the roles of people-pleasing and caretaking for those around her. However, she later realized that the price she paid for these roles was steep—it left her clueless about her own wants and needs. As this pattern extended into her intimate relationship with her husband, her inability to assert herself resulted in exclusive a...

Kate and Janna unravel the complex dynamics of Kate’s 19-year marriage marked by a common tradition – the recurrent gift of lingerie. Although intended as a sweet gesture, these presents took a toll on Kate, leaving her feeling embarrassed and awkward, along with dwindling her libido and decreasing her desire for sex. As the duo discusses the cultural implications of gifting lingerie, Kate's story...