Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

"Neediness" has come up in plenty of episodes, but this is the first one dedicated to that loaded word . The episode was inspired by a letter from a listener--author, Sally Vardaman, who found herself reacting to my mom's story in episode #72 about her decision to end a friendship over what she called, "neediness." Sally's letter was so reflective and insightful that I aske...

Bri McKoy is a cookbook author and military wife who has moved seven times in 12 years. She went from burning everything in the kitchen to learning to cook as a way to create community. Have you ever wondered how to make good friends in a new city? Bri has repeatedly accomplished this task with some towns proving harder than others.  Bri's husband, Jeremy, has been deployed four times since th...

You feel good potential friendship chemistry with someone, but then what to do next?  This is an episode about pursuing a new friend. (We also get into some texting etiquette.) How do you pursue the friendship in a way that lets the other person know you're interested, but doesn't scare them off?  And if you're someone who already has a full social life, how do you make time for a new...

If there's one thing we need these days, it's some joy and laughter. It's dark times. And while today's story of a heartbreak from a friendship breakup isn't exactly what we think of as funny on its own, I am thrilled to tell you that there is a fantastic comedian out there who has made humor and art out of a painful friendship breakup he had in college. Gabe Mollica's one-...

This episode of Dear Nina focuses on reaching out amidst turmoil (this time in particular, in the Middle East), navigating conversations when you’re not sure what to say, and the profound impact of letting someone know you’re thinking of them. Questions discussed include:  Can a simple message of love and support make a difference to a friend during a crisis? Is it fair to expect friends to post o...

If you're struggling with managing your friendships or looking for innovative ways to make new friends, this episode is your roadmap to a richer, more fulfilling social life. What you might be missing if you're not spending time with friends is a container for those friendships. My guests have tons of ideas for you! Jeff Waldman and Dan Moore joined me for an inspiring thirty minutes where...

Have you ever stopped to acknowledge the profound impact of your childhood friendships, even the most casual and fleeting ones, on your adult identity? This episode is dedicated to the friends who touched our lives, even if they are no longer an active part of it.  Walk down memory lane with Kristin Nilsen , a middle-grade fiction writer and co-host of The Pop Culture Preservation Society Podcast,...

I have the great Ruchi Koval today! Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you simply can't connect with someone trying to become better friends with you? Or, have you ever needed to "downgrade" a friendship? Letting down another person is never easy! Join me as I sit down with Ruchi Koval, a renowned author, motivational speaker, and relationship coach, to discuss how to na...

Sometimes we hurt a friend unintentionally, but an apology is still in order. Is there a friend out there who might be waiting for you to say, "I'm sorry?" Are you ready to forgive the friend who comes to you with an apology? This is the episode where we encourage you to think about forgiveness---asking for it and granting it. Who is we? I finally have MY MOM back on the show! We encou...

Diamonde Williamson, found a way to make art from a painful friendship breakup and help others process their breakups, too. Just like romantic breakups, friendship breakups can lead to feelings of grief, loss, and loneliness. Yet, these feelings are often dismissed or minimized, making it hard to heal and move forward.  Learn more about Diamonde's documentary, Best Friends Not Forever. Topics...

Ever feel like your social life is a waiting game, stuck in the perpetual hope for an invitation to hang out? It’s time to flip the script! This episode is about empowering you to take control of your social time and friendships. Don't wait around hoping to be invited--reach out, take the lead, and discover the joy that comes with being the planner. It's a super power! This is the perfect...

You know those articles and memes that are everywhere reprimanding us about what NOT to say to a friend who is going through a hard time of any kind? Jennifer is here today to say THE OPPOSITE of that. She's urging us to stop being afraid of saying the wrong things to friends with chronic illness, or friends dealing with anything else.  Your friends will never say the perfect thing! WE will so...

Today we're discussing a harder topic than usual--what to do when your friend is in a very unhealthy or even an abusive relationship. It can be extremely difficult as a friend, as opposed to a family member, to know when you can step in to help, or how you can help. I'm grateful to Rachel Katz for sharing her story. She's been on both sides of this equation. Rachel can speak to the fru...

I'm encouraging listeners to reach out to some long distance friends and plan a trip! Why? I finally put my money where my mouth is and spent time with out of town friends, and in this solo episode, I'm telling you all about it. Visiting long distance friends requires time and usually a financial commitment, but the rewards are priceless. The planning of these trips and then the actual tri...

Today we’re talking about a topic that people have written to me about consistently over the years--friendships between introverts and extroverts.  Here to help me is author Heidi Shertok , who told me that being an introvert in an extrovert’s world has presented some problems for her in her friendships. PLUS, I was so excited to talk to Heidi about her trailblazing novel in the romance genre--a r...

Dr. Lisa Damour is the NYT  bestselling author of Untangled , Under Pressure , The Emotional Lives of Teenagers , and the co-host of the Ask Lisa Podcast . On Dear Nina , I focus on adult friendships, but sometimes I touch on teen friendships because teen friend strife is slipping into adult friendships. While it was once expected that teens would experience friendship changes as part of growing u...

What happens when two longtime, old school bloggers reminisce about the good old days of blogging? You get laughs, reflections, and a deep dive into the intricate dynamics of the blogging community from the early days to today. I'm joined by my friend and star blogger, Jill Smokler , founder of Scary Mommy , as we delve into our shared experiences of the blogging world and the friendships we m...

Welcome to Dr. Marisa G. Franco ! Conflicts in friendships can feel so daunting, but sometimes we have to tell friends they've let us down rather than distancing ourselves and ignoring calls and texts. (A tactic too many of us use.) Here to help is Dr. Marissa G Franco, author of the instant NYT bestseller, Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends . Dr. Franco...

"Monday is Nan. Tuesday is Maryanne. Wednesday is Leslie. Thursday is Lisa. And Friday is Susan. It was an act of love, an act of friendship. . . " Many of us enjoy walking with friends. But the power of walking and friendship is extra inspiring in today's episode. Leslie Hooton, author of three novels and a true inspiration, had to learn to walk multiple times throughout her life beca...

Award-winning journalist, best-selling author, and podcast creator, Jo Piazza , joins me to answer the question---Is texting ruining the art of friendship communication? Together we make the case for old-school phone calls and low-key hangs. We referenced two of Jo's Substack pieces: In Praise of the Low-keyHang I Don't Want to Text Anymore Meet Jo Piazza JJo Piazza is a bestselling author...

College friendships! Daisy Alpert Florin, author of My Last Innocent Year , joins me to discuss the unparalleled intimacy of college friendships. We delve into the impact of choosing the right college environment, as well as how the lack of technology (in the 90s) and the abundance of time led to more meaningful connections. Don't miss this nostalgia-filled episode as Daisy and I analyze how a...

How can we help our teens navigate the complexities of friendships without projecting our own experiences, desires, or traumas onto them? What level of parent involvement is appropriate? In this thought-provoking episode, I spoke to the insightful Stephanie Sprenger to explore the delicate art of guiding our children through the messy world of friendships while recognizing when our own feelings an...

There is tremendous value to poker, mahjong, and other games for making friends and getting closer with the friends you already have. I’m a longtime fan today's guest, author and podcaster, Mark Oppenheimer , who spoke with me about the value of participating in a regular game with friends. In Mark's case, he has a longstanding poker game. I talked about mahjong. Bridge was a big part of m...

Gretchen Rubin and I spoke about her newest book, Life in Five Senses , and specifically about how awareness of the five senses can improve our friendships. We covered examples such as listening better for what’s being said and not being said, making plans to see new sights with friends, paying attention to where our eyes are focused (not on our phones and Apple watches), hugging friends (a challe...

I’m revisiting the problems and potential of group texts (but mostly the problems) because there are still some group text shenanigans I’d love to see go away. I want us to love our group chats with friends! We CAN improve! In this episode you will get some easy ways to make the group texting experience better. I’m SO excited for even more listeners to hear Kat Vellos, who helped me navigate the w...