Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

One afternoon Emma Nadler gets a call from her daughter's doctor that changes her life forever. Faced with the realities of raising a child with a rare genetic condition, Nadler must confront her preconceptions of motherhood and her perfectionistic beliefs." Today we’re talking about how to support friends facing an ambiguous loss. My guest, Emma Nadler, is a psychotherapist in Minneapolis...

One of Laura Tremaine's friendship philosophies is to put connection and relationship on your daily to-do list. And one example of a "to-do" we discussed was this: TEXT YOUR FRIENDS BACK! This came up for Laura after a few friends called her out. After realizing some of her communication mishaps and a few other friendship details were falling between the cracks or hurting friends'...

Evereve's co-founder and co-CEO, Megan Tamte , joins me to discuss making new, very close friends later in life. And by later, we mean any time in adult life. We talked about how to reach out to potential friends, how to hear "no," how to say "no," reaching out to old friends, and real friends vs. deal friends. Megan also gave me some emergency fashion advice at the end. I rece...

Today on Dear Nina I have a guest with a harrowing and inspiring story to share about starting a new life with new friends after a horrific tragedy. This is unlike any story I've heard firsthand, and I'm grateful for Jen's candor and honesty. Jen Zwinck wrote to me: After my husband was killed, I moved with my daughter to a small island in the Caribbean where I didn't know a single...

First thing to know, not all friendships with issues are "toxic." I'm not sure there's a more overused word on the internet. That said, it's something we need to discuss on a friendship podcast. Recognizing a toxic friendship and what to do about it sounds like a serious thing to discuss. And it is! But my two guests are so fun and delightful that you could almost forget how un...

I'm thrilled to welcome my mom back to Dear Nina. My mom, Kathy Sackheim, has been an instrumental part of the Dear Nina friendship universe. I quote her often in the column and the podcast. In this 20-minute episode she answered some questions that came in from the Dear Nina Facebook group . We covered the ways she's seen attitudes about friendship change through the decades, whether pare...

Author, Will Schwalbe , joins the show today with some of these thoughts and more: It's better to say something than nothing. Make the hard phone call. Donate to the cause. Let friends help you. Ask questions. Look past what you think you know about people. Assume the best. These are all keys to long-term friendship I discussed with Will, author of We Should Not Be Friends: The Story of a Frie...

There is so much value to having friends with different points of view and backgrounds. I love witnessing a friendship between people whose differences should make their connection unlikely, but instead their ability to discuss their experiences leads to greater understanding and closeness. Challenge and disagreement can be an enriching aspect of a friendship rather than something to avoid at all...

In an episode with Jill Smokler, formally THE Scary Mommy of the famous Scary Mommy, and currently the host of the podcast, She's Got Issues , you’re going to hear about the most common mistakes people make in friendships, and the hard learned lessons . You will also hear an all around honest chat between old college friends and some regrets from that time. Jill and I went to WashU together! S...

I have author, Christie Tate, back on the show! I have been so eager for this conversation. We are talking about Christie's newest memoir, B.F.F.: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found . We're focusing on friendship triangles, envy, jealousy, competition, and ghosting--all issues that come up in the book. You might know Christie as the author of the fantastic memoir Group: How One Therapis...

This week's episode with guest, Shari Leid , focuses on wisdom she’s gained after meeting with 144 of her friends. Our episode makes the case for the casual friendship. We also talked about expanding your friendship network by putting yourself out there to connect with new and old friends, giving friends grace, having intentional conversations to deepen friendships, and considering whether you...

Do your adult friendships mirror what you saw growing up in your household, or did you set out to do the exact opposite in your adult social life? I spoke to author, Linda Pressman, about her experiences growing up as the child of Holocaust survivors, her parents' friends, and her own adult take on friendship. Meet Linda Pressman Linda Pressman is the author of the recently published memoir, J...

The topic of diet culture and friendship inspired more emails from my Facebook group-- Dear Nina: The Group --than any other topic since I started the podcast. What do I mean by diet culture and friendship? I'm referring to how the culture of dieting and the worship of thinness affects friendships, can become competitive, and is spread among friends. We also discussed friends being overly inve...

Do you overspend to keep up with friends? It's tricky to navigate conversations about money with friends. What issues have come up for you about money and friendship? Does splitting things get tense? Planning trips? Participating in expectations around weddings, showers, going in with friends for gifts? Money can be a big issue between friends. Some of the solutions discussed in the episode ca...

Taking time to identify the friendships that are going well in your life and WHY is a worthwhile activity. It's my January challenge for listeners, readers, and for the Dear Nina Facebook group. This is one of my more personal episodes. Thanks for being here! Here is the 7-day happiness challenge  from the  New York Times  mentioned in the episode. The challenge was inspired by the long study...

I spoke to narrative coach, Lisa Harris, about the sometimes-fuzzy lines between "work friends" and "real friends" and also the line people cross between friend and customer. In other words--treating your friends like your customers. Not a good idea! Meet Lisa Harris: Lisa Harris the CEO/founder of Lisa Harris & Company . Lisa’s entrepreneurial journey began in 2016 after publi...

I think this is the first time I've publicly discussed the bizarre memory of waiting up long into the night to see if I made the Pom Pom squad at Highland Park High School.  Thank you to Rachel Levy Lesser and Stephanie Goldstein for inviting me on Life's Accessories, The Podcast to talk about the BIG mistake I made quitting the tennis team in high school, how a little bit of good old-fash...

Episode #40: After discussing the topic of great gift ideas for friends in my Facebook group-- Dear Nina: The Group --I heard such thoughtful examples that I wanted to share those ideas with listeners. There are some really creative gifts in this quick 10-minute episode.  I also briefly discussed Anna Goldfarb's recent Atlantic article, "Gift-Giving is About the Buyer, Not the Receiver.&#3...

Everyone tells me their city is the hardest city for making new friends. It's a common problem! I spoke to Pam Lamp who has a fun and helpful story about making new friends at 57-years-old when she moved to Nashville with her husband and had to rebuild her social life. Pam's story spoke to me because I often hear from listeners and readers who struggle to make new friends as an adult. I do...

I spoke to author Diana Spechler about a piece she wrote in her Substack called “How to Make Friends.” It was a refreshing take on making friends when moving to a new city and on friendship "deal breakers." What are your friendship preferences and limitations? Does repeated cancelling get to you? Is a friend who wants to talk several times a week asking for too much? Each of us has differe...

There are lots of benefits to having couple friends. My husband joined me as we reflected on why we have made such a big effort to maintain couple friendships throughout our 20+ year marriage and what we think it adds to our lives. We each have our own friends, but couple friendships have been important too.  ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO 📢  This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase...

My mom, Kathy Sackheim, joined me to discuss widowhood and friendship, as well as friendships while my dad was in the later years of Parkinson's Disease. I'm so grateful for my mom's honesty and advice.   ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO 📢  This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Subst...

Journalist, Anna Goldfarb, joins me to discuss managing a lopsided friendship— that feeling you’re putting more into the friendship than your friend is, and, maybe even being okay with it depending on the situation. The episode came about after reading Anna's article in vox.com called "How to Handle a Lopsided Friendship." Anna Goldfarb is the author of Modern Friendship and writes abo...

It is possible to reconnect with an ex-friend and forget the issues that caused the breakup? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But forgiveness is a necessary ingredient if you're even going to try. In this replay episode, I have a candid conversation with one of my best friends, Rebecca Kotok, who for about three years in our 20s, was my ex-best friend. We discuss why we stopped talking, and how an...

When the desire for friendship is not equal, things can get very tricky. My guest, the wise Ruchi Koval, is here to help. We talked about the reality of hurt feelings and disappointments in real friendships, and the question of whether every friendship needs to "fill your cup."  It was a challenging letter from a listener and a challenging conversation overall.  Meet Ruchi Koval Ruchi is t...