Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

How age, loss, and experience can change the way we see friendships from the past This week I’m joined by one of my very best friends, Rebecca Kotok, a public school counselor in Maryland and one of the most popular guests in the history of Dear Nina . Rebecca was first on the show in episode 34 , where we talked about our friendship breakup in our 20s and our reconciliation. This time, we’re talk...

My friend, Jill Smokler, touched so many lives. If you loved Jill, I hope hearing her voice is a comfort. If you didn’t know her, I hope this episode gives you a glimpse of why countless longtime followers, fans, and friends felt deeply connected to her candor and warmth. This bonus episode of Dear Nina is a replay of a conversation Jill asked me to record with her in the summer of 2024, soon afte...

How small talk, "loose ties," and everyday conversations help us feel more connected For episode #200 of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I’m joined by Dr. Gillian Sandstrom , an associate professor in the Psychology of Kindness at the University of Sussex and author of Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How Small Talk Can Add Up to a Big Life . I came into this conversation a...

How to make girls trips, weekend getaways, and friendship travel actually happen This week, I’m joined by one of my favorite people to talk to about friendship on and off the microphone: my assistant producer and friend, Rebekah Jacobs! We're discussing something she does far more often than I do—traveling with friends. Rebekah is a frequent girls-trip traveler. She’s the friend who is always...

Two entrepreneurs on friendship, support, and staying open to new connections. When we talk on Dear Nina about making friends as adults, I often focus on hobbies, neighborhoods, volunteer opportunities, or the activities we do outside of work. But work is one of the most common ways adults meet new people, and it's something I probably don't talk about enough. This week, I'm joined by...

Why Reassurance-Seeking, Overthinking, and Fear of Rejection Can Strain Even Good Friendships Most of us have moments when we wonder where we stand with a friend. That's part of caring about people. But for some, those worries become a constant rumination in the background of their friendships. You might find yourself replaying conversations, looking for signs that something is wrong, or repea...

In this episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I’m talking about the social complications of having a second home. Whether it’s a lakeside cabin, a Florida condo, or simply living somewhere everyone wants to visit, these situations bring up all kinds of friendship questions around hosting, invitations, reciprocity, FOMO, boundaries, and expectations. My guest is the incredible Steph...

I’m sharing a bonus episode from my appearance on The Visibility Standard with Jazzmyn Proctor . We talked about modern friendship and all the strange new tensions that come with living so much of our lives online. From expecting friends to endlessly support our businesses on social media (and the resentment when they watch but don't 'like'), to replacing real connection with memes and...

Money can shape adult friendships in ways we don’t always talk about openly. Who pays for dinner? Who can afford the group trip? Do you need to attend the wedding AND the bachelorette party and wedding shower? What happens when your kids start noticing how other families spend money? And how do you handle it when your own financial situation changes before your friendships catch up? This week on D...

This episode is a little different—and very fun—because it’s packed with specific, creative ways to spend time with friends that go beyond the usual walk, coffee, or dinner at a restaurant. I’m joined by Ashlee Gadd and Katie Blackburn of the Coffee + Crumbs community and authors of the new book, You're In Good Company: The Gift of Friendship, Motherhood, and Showing Up . Ashlee and Katie came...

Is your neighborhood or town welcoming? I spend a lot of time on this show talking about the one-to-one side of friendship—the texts, the plans, the misunderstandings, the dynamics that keep us close or pull us apart. But once in a while, I like to zoom out and look at something bigger: the social health of where we live. Our friendships don’t exist in a vacuum. They’re shaped by our neighborhoods...

Navigating friendship when your planning styles don’t match Why is it so hard to actually make plans with friends as adults? In this solo episode, I’m digging into one of the most common (and frustrating) dynamics in friendship: when one person likes to plan ahead and the other prefers to keep things spontaneous. I also discuss when both people like to have an actual plan, but one friend is doing...

The Unexpected Friendships You Find Through Networking When You Work Alone If you're ever feel lonely at work, lonely working from home, or you realize your regular friends just don't get what you do, this episode is for you. I spoke with Lindsay Pinchuk , award-winning entrepreneur and founder of the Dear Founder Forum , a networking community for women business owners over 40. Lindsay&#3...

I’m excited to share a fantastic episode from when I was the guest on Your Child Is Normal with pediatrician Dr. Jessica Hochman. ( @askdrjessica on Instagram) Dr. Jessica and I spoke about how to help kids become socially confident in a world where so much interaction happens on screens. From teaching kids to initiate plans instead of waiting to be invited (adults need to master this too!), to wh...

Reframing Your Birthday and Your Friendships Birthdays can be emotionally loaded and full of expectations, mixed signals, and quiet disappointment about what we’re “supposed to do” and who is “supposed to do” it for us. If birthdays have left you feeling overlooked or unsure of your friendships, this episode offers a practical—and freeing—way to think about them differently. And I know some of you...

“You don’t really have any friends, do you, Dad?” That’s the question that stopped Andrew McCarthy—yes, the Pretty in Pink / Mannequin/St. Elmo's Fire/"Brat Pack" Andrew McCarthy—in his tracks and led to a 10,000-mile journey to reconnect with the people he considered his closest friends. Andrew's book, Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across Americ...

When repeated friendship struggles may signal something deeper . . . I consistently hear from listeners who are struggling with friendship in ways that feel confusing or painful: repeated friendship breakups, difficulty making meaningful connections, uncertainty about whether to confront a friend or quietly drift away. While many friendship challenges are completely normal, when the same issues ke...

The Friendship Side of ADHD We Don’t Talk About Enough ADHD is getting more attention right now, but one part of the conversation often gets overlooked: how ADHD affects adult friendships  for the person with ADHD and for that person's friends. To learn more, I spoke with Cate Osborn and Erik Gude , the duo behind the podcast Catie and Erik’s Infinite Quest: An ADHD Adventure  and co-authors o...

We're unpacking a surprisingly charged friendship dilemma I answered for Real Simple magazine: How do you handle a longtime friend who copies everything you wear and do—outfits, home decor, and more—and doesn't mention the inspiration? She just shows up in her life as the mirror image of your choices? When I answered the letter for Real Simple , I side-stepped the fashion elements of the q...

Today we're talking about a specific and underexplored friendship challenge: what happens to your social life as your career takes off. We get right to the heart of something many ambitious women feel but rarely say out loud — that they appear socially rich on the outside while feeling quietly disconnected on the inside. We discuss why a full calendar of networking chats isn't the same as...

Have you ever looked at your life and thought: I have friends. I’m doing things. I’m not isolated… so why do I still feel unsettled and maybe even lonely? This week’s guest is Dr. Jeffrey Hall (and yes, I was awkwardly a bit of a fan girl for this one). Dr. Hall is a professor and department chair of Communication Studies at the University of Kansas, where he directs the Relationships and Technolo...

If you tend to assume someone’s upset with you when their tone shifts even slightly, when they don’t text back right away, or when you notice the smallest change in their availability, this episode is for you. And if you have a friend who is always asking, "Are you mad at me?" or assuming you're upset when you're simply living your life, then this episode will help you, too. I’m jo...

Knowing how to show up for a friend in grief can feel overwhelming. We want to say the right thing, we don’t want to make it worse—and too often, that fear leads to silence. This episode is about finding words that help, not harm, and about staying connected when a friend’s life has been turned upside down. In this conversation, I’m joined by grief coach and author Shelby Forsythia , whose work ce...

This week’s episode is an expansion to last week’s conversation with Dr. Noelle Santorelli about relational aggression, belonging vs. inclusion, and “mean mom groups.” The focus this week shifts from spotting unhealthy dynamics to the next (very hard) question: What should you do after you realize you’ve been excluded by the people you thought were your friends? Bestselling author Amy Weatherly re...

This week I have a conversation with clinical psychologist Dr. Noelle Santorelli about belonging vs. (forced) inclusion, "mean mom" culture, and relational aggression. And guess what? I recorded this interview with Dr. Santorelli BEFORE the Ashley Tisdale “toxic mom group” article from The Cut was making its way around the internet. I had to re-record my intro to this episode because not a...