Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

When Your Friendship Needs Don't Match Are you expecting too much from a friend, or are you accepting too little? It's a question that comes up again and again in the letters I receive from listeners of Dear Nina . Sometimes a friendship truly is one-sided. But sometimes two people care deeply about each other and simply have different needs from a friendship. I'm bringing back a conve...

How to help your child through exclusion without letting your own panic take over I've been a parent on both sides of friendship exclusion. I've had kids who were left out, and I've had other parents upset with me. And I know how hard it can be to watch your child struggle socially without letting your own emotions take over. Sometimes our kids move on from a friendship disappointment...

Are we too quick to decide a friendship isn’t working? That’s the question running through this conversation with bestselling author and podcaster Melissa Radke . Melissa and I have both ended important friendships in ways we later regretted, and we spoke about what we wished we had done differently before deciding it was time to walk away. To quote Melissa, "Because a friendship can be hard w...

Dr. Miriam Kirmayer is back on Dear Nina , and this time we did something different: we each brought friendship questions the other person had not seen in advance . No prep. No polished answers. Just two people who think about friendship constantly digging into the kinds of questions that rarely have a clean yes-or-no answer. Dr. Miriam is a clinical psychologist and a well-known friendship resear...

When good intentions aren’t enough in a friendship What happens when you genuinely care about friends, but your behavior isn’t showing it? That’s the question at the center of my conversation with writer and podcaster Laura Tremaine , author of The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs and Share Your Stuff: I'll Go First . I’m bringing this episode back because Laura’s honesty about her o...

Dr. Marisa G. Franco is back on Dear Nina! This time we spoke about her new book, Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment , and how our sense of self-worth affects the friendships we build, keep, and sometimes struggle to trust. Marisa’s first book, Platonic , focused on how we create and maintain strong friendships. Worth goes a step further inward: What happens when the way w...

Why human connection requires friction, empathy, and accountability. I have real concerns about AI, and one of my biggest is what happens when we start treating it like a person—especially a friend. My guest, Sarah Baldeo, is a neuroscientist and the author of 100 Ways to Future Proof Your Brain in the Age of AI . She has spent more than 20 years working at the intersection of neuroscience and art...

I’ve spoken before on Dear Nina about neurodiversity and friendship with several fantastic guests, but I wanted to have a conversation that could speak both to parents raising neurodivergent kids and to neurodivergent adults navigating friendship themselves. Caroline Maguire is an internationally recognized expert in social-emotional learning, ADHD, coaching, and relationship development. She’s th...

Harlan Cohen on friendship, social courage, and finding places where you belong. Finding friendship—at any stage of life—requires the risk of hearing “no.” And that “no” rarely comes directly. That’s one of the ideas I dig into with Harlan Cohen , a New York Times bestselling author and founder of Best First Year , a college success coaching program for students and parents. So much of what Harlan...

Friend groups, exclusion, conflict, and the patterns we don’t always outgrow Some friendship habits start much earlier than we realize. The way we react to being left out, how much security we get from being part of a group, whether we avoid conflict, and even how willing we are to be vulnerable with friends can all have roots in our teen years. My guest Sheri Gazitt has spent more than 30 years w...

Alcohol is so woven into social life that choosing not to drink can change how you spend time with friends, which invitations come your way, and what you begin to notice about the way you connect. My guest, Suzanne Warye is the author of The Sober Shift: An Empowering Exploration of Sobriety, Parenting, and the Joys of Alcohol-Free Living and the host of the popular podcast The Sober Mom Life . Su...

I’m fresh off the "Dear Nina Live" event in Minneapolis to celebrate five years of the podcast. And after such a big week, I was ready to step away from my computer for a bit. So I said yes to mahjong (twice!), tennis, a walk, and time with friends. It was exactly the reset I was looking for, even though I'm WAY BEHIND on work now. This short episode is a reminder to get out from behin...

To mark five years of making this podcast, I invited the person who has heard every episode, encouraged every new idea, and occasionally reminded me to follow my own friendship advice. Welcome to my husband, Bryan! Bryan hasn't been on Dear Nina since the first year! I brought him back to talk about what has surprised him after five years of listening to conversations about every aspect of fri...

Admissions counselor, Alexis White, on why 'fit over flex' should guide the college search The college search puts a lot of pressure on families to find the “best” school. But the highest-ranked school (the hyper-focus for many) is not necessarily the place where a particular student will be happiest, most successful, or most likely to find their people. My guest this week is Alexis White...

Group dynamics, feeling left out, and not waiting around for invitations We have all felt that sting of not being invited. You see the pictures, hear about the dinner, find out there's a group chat, there was a weekend away—and you were not included. It can hurt, even when we know intellectually that every gathering cannot include every person. And even though we do not personally want 15 peop...

How age, loss, and experience can change the way we see friendships from the past This week I’m joined by one of my very best friends, Rebecca Kotok, a public school counselor in Maryland and one of the most popular guests in the history of Dear Nina . Rebecca was first on the show in episode 34 , where we talked about our friendship breakup in our 20s and our reconciliation. This time, we’re talk...

My friend, Jill Smokler, touched so many lives. If you loved Jill, I hope hearing her voice is a comfort. If you didn’t know her, I hope this episode gives you a glimpse of why countless longtime followers, fans, and friends felt deeply connected to her candor and warmth. This bonus episode of Dear Nina is a replay of a conversation Jill asked me to record with her in the summer of 2024, soon afte...

How small talk, "loose ties," and everyday conversations help us feel more connected For episode #200 of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I’m joined by Dr. Gillian Sandstrom , an associate professor in the Psychology of Kindness at the University of Sussex and author of Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How Small Talk Can Add Up to a Big Life . I came into this conversation a...

How to make girls trips, weekend getaways, and friendship travel actually happen This week, I’m joined by one of my favorite people to talk to about friendship on and off the microphone: my assistant producer and friend, Rebekah Jacobs! We're discussing something she does far more often than I do—traveling with friends. Rebekah is a frequent girls-trip traveler. She’s the friend who is always...

Two entrepreneurs on friendship, support, and staying open to new connections. When we talk on Dear Nina about making friends as adults, I often focus on hobbies, neighborhoods, volunteer opportunities, or the activities we do outside of work. But work is one of the most common ways adults meet new people, and it's something I probably don't talk about enough. This week, I'm joined by...

Why Reassurance-Seeking, Overthinking, and Fear of Rejection Can Strain Even Good Friendships Most of us have moments when we wonder where we stand with a friend. That's part of caring about people. But for some, those worries become a constant rumination in the background of their friendships. You might find yourself replaying conversations, looking for signs that something is wrong, or repea...

In this episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I’m talking about the social complications of having a second home. Whether it’s a lakeside cabin, a Florida condo, or simply living somewhere everyone wants to visit, these situations bring up all kinds of friendship questions around hosting, invitations, reciprocity, FOMO, boundaries, and expectations. My guest is the incredible Steph...

I’m sharing a bonus episode from my appearance on The Visibility Standard with Jazzmyn Proctor . We talked about modern friendship and all the strange new tensions that come with living so much of our lives online. From expecting friends to endlessly support our businesses on social media (and the resentment when they watch but don't 'like'), to replacing real connection with memes and...

Money can shape adult friendships in ways we don’t always talk about openly. Who pays for dinner? Who can afford the group trip? Do you need to attend the wedding AND the bachelorette party and wedding shower? What happens when your kids start noticing how other families spend money? And how do you handle it when your own financial situation changes before your friendships catch up? This week on D...

This episode is a little different—and very fun—because it’s packed with specific, creative ways to spend time with friends that go beyond the usual walk, coffee, or dinner at a restaurant. I’m joined by Ashlee Gadd and Katie Blackburn of the Coffee + Crumbs community and authors of the new book, You're In Good Company: The Gift of Friendship, Motherhood, and Showing Up . Ashlee and Katie came...