Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Ever feel like you're dragging? Like you don't have enough energy to do all the things you want to do, or just wish you had more oomph in general? The fact is, when you're healthy and vital, you're more attractive. You also want to have sex more (your libido goes up). You're more likely to go for what you want in dating. And you show up as the best version of yourself in long-t...

How do you know if monogamy is right for you? Ever been curious about what it would actually be like to be a swinger, or date other people while still being in a healthy marriage? Jackie was actually married twice, in two traditional, monogamous relationships (with kids), before she connected with John — or, in fact, reconnected with him, since they actually went to high school together. By that p...

We work with a lot of men in demanding professions, whether that means long work hours, high-stakes environments (like hospitals), hard manual labor, or being mentally taxing or stressful. Many of these men have to hide their emotions and/or vulnerability at work, and/or are in jobs like software development or IT that have them at a computer, isolated, all day long. Any and all of this can take a...

Guy Blaise is a Frenchman who has lived in the U.S. for a number of years. As a man who has dated and had sex with both European and North American women, he has an intriguing perspective. Here we delve into the differences between dating in France and the U.S., and the various questions raised by those, such as: Why are French women more likely to tell a man what they like or don't like in be...

When it comes to dating, relationships, and sex, there's a strong cultural norm -- the plotline of what we're "supposed" to want. It goes like this: You start dating, become sexually exclusive, get engaged, get married, buy a house (with a white picket fence!), have kids, and stay together until you die. No sex, dating, or romance with anyone else, ever. This is known as the "r...

Ever felt "flat" in life? Like you've done a lot of the things you were "supposed" to do, but you're still not fulfilled? Or perhaps you just have this nagging feeling that more is possible. This is often a subtle pattern, but it's one we've seen in a number of our clients. Some have got a pretty good relationship with pretty good sex, but the sense that the level o...

How did you know when you stopped being a boy and became a man (if that's how you identify)? And if you're raising a son, how will he know when he's a man? Rites of passage are critical to our development as humans ... but they're sorely missing from mainstream culture. Indigenous cultures and first nations have much to teach here. A big issue in mainstream culture is that there&#3...

Ever read No More Mr. Nice Guy , or heard about Nice Guy Syndrome and related to it? If you've identified yourself as a Nice Guy, you may have the feeling, "Where do I go from here?" Jason, a self-proclaimed recovering Nice Guy, goes through the steps related to overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome. Instead of being a Nice Guy, there's a new archetype: the Kind Man. Overcoming Nice Guy Syn...

Here are 4 common questions I get from men, whether clients or listeners like you: How do I approach a woman at the gym or grocery store or other public place? How do I approach someone I work with to date?  What do I do if I contend with erectile dysfunction (ED) or premature ejaculation (PE) and find that that blocks me from even approaching women at all? Which dating app should I use, and how d...

If you’ve ever had the experience of being too scared to approach or pursue the women you really want, this one’s for you. (It’s also for you if you’ve ever felt like you were settling for a partner, rather than feeling thrilled and pumped to be with them.) Many men we work with have found themselves dating or even marrying women who approached them — in other words, they haven’t felt empowered to...

Ever wished you could be a fly on the wall while women talked frankly about their sex lives!? We got you. Here, four of us women who have sex with men go into detail around the best sex we've ever had. We talk about dating, relationships, and what made certain men stand out when it came to the sex part. A few things that made the cut: blow jobs, being tied up, oral sex (him going down on her),...

Ever frozen up around someone you found attractive? It can be exceedingly frustrating — you're fine around other people, but put you in front of a beautiful woman and your system just shuts down. Before you can even get to dating someone, having sex, or being in a relationship, you've got to talk to them, right!? Many of our single clients want to be confident with women. Yet many men repo...

There's a critical dating/relationship skill that some men have mastered, and it makes a huge difference on our side. It makes us feel special and also has us relax such that we can show up in our most exquisite, sexy radiance. But we'll rarely explicitly ask for it. Kinda like certain things in sex, we don't always say this out loud, but it's on our minds and in our hearts. What&#...

Ever wondered what it's actually like to open up a relationship -- meaning explore ethical non-monogamy (ENM), also known as polyamory? Whether you're wanting more or different kinds of sex, or just more connection, love, and variety in your relationships, your desires are valid, and being in an open relationship can be healthy and fulfilling. But open relationship/polyamory can be a confu...

Ever been in a relationship where you felt like she was nitpicking at you, like you could never do anything right? Or ever been in a phase where it felt like she was never happy with you, and was sharp and poky or picked fights for seemingly no reason? Real talk: When I feel loved and cherished by my man, little things don't bother me as much. But when I question that love or don't feel ch...

Ever wished you could explore different kinds of sexy things in your relationship? How exactly does one go from missionary position to consensual flogging? Well, let us tell you! When it comes to sex, dating, and relationships, there's a lot of mystery around kink and BDSM. What "counts" as kinky, and how do you talk to your partner about wanting to explore it? How does one even get st...

A pattern we often hear from the men we work with is that it's really hard for them to approach their partner for sex. This could be a dating partner or someone they're in a long-term committed relationship with. Heck, it could be their wife. If you've ever Googled, "How do I get my wife to have more sex with me?" you're not alone. The fear of approaching a partner for sex...

When we think about body image, shame, and appearance, we often think about women. And for good reason — there's a lot of pressure on women to look a certain way, and it's easy to feel less-than if you're not in your 20s with a flat stomach, a perfect ass, and a great rack. But men have all kinds of emotions and self-judgment in this area, too. Ever felt like you're not enough? Tha...

What does it actually mean to "set the mood"? Yes, candles are fantastic — they give that soft light that makes everybody look great, and there's something to be said for that when it comes to sexy time. But there are lots of other ways to increase and enhance pleasure of all kinds, including scent . Aromatherapy is powerful, and here we outline how essential oils can aid in everything...

Want that sizzle, that dazzle, that magical mystique? Of course you do. Everyone does. And if you're in a long-term relationship, it can feel harder to maintain that over time. We're witnessing an epidemic of sexless relationships -- some studies put it at 15% of all marriages. When it comes to sex, sensuality, and a woman's erotic essence, it can be easy to lose. One way this can show...

Want hot sexy polarity in your relationship or dating life? You're gonna want to master this. It's the one relationship skill to rule them all. Here, we get personal and real about the men we've been with who've done this skillfully (and made us want to drop our panties), as well as those who've missed the mark. You can learn from both. Where many men are taught to be either pa...

Ever felt like a woman was testing you, pushing your boundaries in annoying ways, or giving you a "shit test" (not a great term, but one you may be familiar with)? Here's a hint: if you don't want negative emotional tension, you may need to become skilled at positive emotional tension. Whether you're in a dating relationship, long-term marriage, or somewhere in between, the fem...

What does it mean to actually be honest when it comes to sex?  A lot of couples never really talk about their sex life in depth. Sure, maybe one person in the relationship says they'd like to be having more sex. But that's different from having real, raw conversations about what's working, what each person wants more or less of, and what their deep-down turn-ons actually are. Why? Beca...

Ever wished sex were easier? As in, that you could feel totally comfortable in your body, fearless in your sexuality, easily ask for what you want, and facilitate hot sexy experiences with women you feel attracted to? Maybe you contend with premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or porn addiction. Maybe you're ashamed of how much you want sex or don't even go after women you really w...

Do you want more sex with your wife (or partner)? Ever wanted to have sex in order to feel better? Do you get really pent-up when you haven't had sex with your woman in a while? Men these days are overwhelmingly lonely. Over the past 30 years there has been a drastic drop in rates of friendships for both women and men, but the trend is far more pronounced for men. One study showed that nearly...