Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction

If someone offered you a cigarette, but you are a nonsmoker, how do you feel and respond? It's easy, right? It's a quick, "no thank you, I don't smoke," and there's no pull, no effort, no resistance to the offer.. So how do we get the same kind of response when there's a trigger or temptation to look at pornography? In this episode, I share how I helped a client through the process of him feeling...

After the impact of pornography addiction, he creates a lot of insecurity, lack of trust and hopelessness. So many couples feel stuck because they don’t have a strong foundation or security in their relationship that helps them move forward and leaving the past behind.  Creating security and stability is one of the most important steps In the process of healing because if you don’t have a solid fo...

After pornography addiction has damaged a relationship, arguments and fights can escalate very quickly. 
 The reason is because there is so much intensity and hurt under the surface that it doesn’t take much to trigger everything.  When couples don’t know exactly how to resolve issues from the past so there is closure and the chance to move on, arguments happen more frequently. In this episode I s...

Restoring the trust, connection, and love in your marriage is possible after pornography addiction has caused hurt and betrayal. Once couples know exactly what to do and what the steps are, they can start to find relief from the pain in a single conversation. Those conversations need to be followed up with more action, consistency, and continued conversations for healing, but you can get the tools...

Is it possible to overcome pornography addiction in just 90 days? With the right tools and approach it is. Listen to this episode to discover the exact blueprint and approach to finding freedom.  In this episode, I break down the most overlooked element in the healing process, which keeps people stuck for years spinning their wheels and feeling discouraged.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email her...

The road to healing a marriage can feel hopeless and overwhelming, so I brought on a couple, John and Ann, who went from separation and almost divorcing twice to now feeling more connected and secure together than ever. They share their struggles of trying to overcome the impact of a pornography addiction, what specific things helped them the most, how they could grow closer together in their marr...

When a man struggles with a pornography addiction, he often feels shame, guilt, and regret because of his decisions.  In order to find freedom, working through these negative emotions is critical.  Today’s episode I have Sathiya, a man who is overcome pornography addiction himself and now helps other men find freedom as well, and he shares his approach for overcoming these negative emotions, findi...

Traditional pornography addiction recovery typically takes 3-5 years, according to established therapists in the industry. The problem is that most people don’t want to spend that long fighting such an exhausting battle. The problem with the traditional way of overcoming porn addiction is that it’s centered on managing the symptoms instead of resolving the core issue. Things like group attendance,...

In the traditional way of overcoming addiction and restoring a marriage, the husbands is often seen as the bad guy. The message is that he is the problem, there’s something wrong with him, he’s in a one-down position and is less-than. When he gets that message, he often feels discouraged, not good enough, and always in the hole, never able to heal and move forward. His wife often feels disconnecte...

So many people struggle with feeling low self-worth and the depression / anxiety that accompanies it.  In this episode I share some powerful strategies to help you increase your self-worth and how to experience feeling more love for yourself.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
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So many women I work tell me that almost everything can be a trigger – the movies, tv shows, going out to eat, women in the grocery story, billboards, you name it.  It’s overwhelming to constantly feel on guard and anxious because any of these triggers sends her into fear and uncertainty, and sadly, so often their husbands don’t know how to respond to help her. In this episode I share one of the m...

When people are working through the process of overcoming pornography addiction, healing from betrayal trauma, and restoring their marriage, there are obviously ups and downs. It’s easy for couple to fall back into old patterns of arguments and fighting, lack of trust, and issues with their sexual relationship, so in this episode I shared the strategy and approach to addressing these three common...

When working to repair your relationship after the effects of porn addiction, learning how to stop fights and diffuse them is critical. The more couples fight, the more alone and disconnected they feel, and if you don’t know how to effectively come back together, the relationship continues to suffer. In this episode I share exactly how to diffuse a fight (every time) and prevent things from escala...

I was a teenager and had a hard time feeling love - from family, friends, and from God. I believed they loved me, I knew intellectually they did, but I had a hard time feeling it. For many people I work with who are affected by a pornography addiction, they have a hard time feeling and experiencing love because they don't feel worthy, have low self-esteem, or have a hard time feeling in general. I...

Many couples get the advice (or consider for themselves) that they should separate for a number of reasons.. Maybe there is too much hurt, betrayal, dishonesty, or fighting? But separation can have unintended harmful effects on an individual and a marriage, so in this episode I share the most important considerations before you decide about how to approach a separation.

As men are learning how to quit porn, one of the most helpful things in their process is their ability to avoid slips. It's such a discouraging experience for both people when he ends up slipping back into old patterns. It affects the trust she has in him, it affects his confidence, and it feels like a big disappointment overall. In this episode I share with you my proven framework to instantly re...

If the past continues to be brought up, it means that it's not fully resolved. Unless you address the hurt in the proper way, it's likely to continue to fester and resurface. In this episode, I share the specific framework to help couples resolve hurts so they can leave the past behind them without sweeping it under the rug. As men are learning how to stop watching porn, healing the damage from th...

One of the most critical steps in porn addiction recovery is being able to identify your triggers. Without knowing exactly what's causing the addiction, you're doomed to continue to repeat the pattern over and over. Once you can uncover the core trigger(s), you can then actually resolve them so they don't continue to pull you back towards the addiction, and that is when men experience true freedom...

We all are going to get our feelings hurt in a relationship, and in order for a couple to thrive and reconnect, we need to repair the damage done in the right way. In this episode I share with you the steps to apologizing in a way where the past won't continue to be brought up over and over again, and couples can move forward feeling like the incident is resolved. For therapy with Sam: Send an ema...

When people have a hard time following through on creating a good habit or breaking a bad one, there's always a reason. In this episode, we dive deeper into the reasons why we don't do the things that we say we want to do, and I share with you some strategies to help you dissolve any blocks or barriers that have prevented you from being successful. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get m...

When a pornography addiction first comes out, it can be overwhelming and shocking. So many couples need a place to start and need direction about what steps to take next. The effects of porn addiction in a relationship are far reaching and can be severe when it comes to the trust, connection, and closeness. In this episode I share a framework and an overview with examples about what steps you can...

When it comes to bringing sex back into the relationship, one of the main questions that people have is “will that trigger him back into the addiction?” If men struggle with a porn addiction or a sex addiction, it can be difficult for a wife to feel comfortable with intimacy. There are a lot of fears and reservations when it comes to sexual intimacy because of the damage that is done in that area...

When trust is damaged because of pornography addiction or lying, it's hard to know when it's safe to open up and trust again. Knowing what to look for will help you to measure whether or not there's progress being made, and it helps him to know where to spend his energy in the rebuilding phase and gaining her trust back. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healin...

Sometimes people start to lose the love they have for their spouse, especially as pornography addiction and betrayal trauma negatively affect the relationship.  The good news is that if you know how to create, shape, and reignite love, you can rekindle it regardless of how long you've been together and even if you've gone through lots of rough patches. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to g...

The road to overcome porn addiction and rebuilding your marriage can feel long and painful. The sting of betrayal and the web of the addiction can cause people to lose hope and sight of a better future. I’m joined in this episode by TC Jolley, who is a strong woman who healed from betrayal trauma as a result of her husband’s addiction. Their marriage is strong and connected, and they are individua...