Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction

When a man struggles with a pornography addiction, identifying the root cause in resolving it on that level is the most effective way to help him change and overcome the addiction. Without knowing what’s driving the addiction, and addressing the underlying problems, all of the traditional responses or coping strategies, like exercise, journaling, mindfulness, etc. won’t help somebody heal on a dee...

After there has been betrayal in a relationship due to a pornography addiction, it’s very common for a wife to experience a lot of anger and resentment.  There are 3 things that a husband can do to defuse and calm her anger in a way that helps her feel understood and comforted. In this episode, I share with you some powerful ways to approach the situation so a husband and wife can work together to...

Relapses can be extremely discouraging both for the husband who is trying to overcome pornography, addiction, and for his wife.  In this episode, I share three specific things that you can do as a husband after a relapse in order to get back on track, effectively reengage in the process, and ultimately become more successful in avoiding slips in the future.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email her...

Stress is a very common triggers for men to slip back into their pornography addiction.  The problem is that stress never goes away in life. So if you don't know how to process it differently, it's going to make it really hard to find freedom from pornography addiction if you've been using it to cope with stress. The new science on stress can help you avoid slips by understanding it and knowing ho...

Codependency is often used by people in a negative way and is often such a big stumbling block to creating the type of security, connection, and fulfillment in their marriage. The reality is that having a secure and loving connection in a relationship is one of our biggest resources and in today’s episode, I will break down exactly how to leverage our inborn longings for a strong relationship and...

So many couples I work with has been struggling for many years to heal from the impact of pornography addiction, and the betrayal it causes.  After having worked with couples for over a decade, there are five things that successful couples have in common. In this episode, I share with you those five things that can help you know what to focus on to have a completely different marriage in 2023.  It...

Eliminating your pornography addiction in 2023 would be a dream come true (literally) for so many men who are struggling. In this episode, I share with you the 5 things you need to do in order to make that a reality. Instead of spending 3-5 years fighting against the triggers and temptations, follow the blueprint in this episode for rapid success by dealing with the core of the issue and getting t...

Podbean info: Often times, couples get stuck in the same old arguments and fights, but there is a better way!  On this new podcast episode, I sit down with expert therapist, Tony Overbay, where we we discuss his 4 pillars of successful communication and how to effectively problem-solve without fighting.  Listen and learn how to speak to your spouse in a way that is heard and understood, and most i...

Overcoming a pornography addiction and repairing a relationship can feel overwhelming and impossible at times. So often people try their very best, but are unable to achieve the results they are hoping for. Instead of doing more, in this podcast episode, I share with you a much more effective approach that actually requires less effort and intensity while actually bringing greater results.  So if...

Announcement! I created a free, private Facebook group for men who want to find freedom from pornography and have a strong marriage. Each week, I host a live training on topics like how to effectively overcome temptations and triggers, relapse prevention, finding relief from guilt and shame, reclaiming your self worth, rebuilding trust and connection in your marriage, and how to avoid fights and r...

You can join the free Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit  

When a man struggles with the pornography addiction, it’s very easy for him to spiral into shame and guilt, which unintentionally can set him back up for another relapse. In this episode, I share with you some very important research about how much more effective response to mistakes or slips to help propel you forward on the path of being successful. Self-compassion is often confused with self-li...

It can be very difficult for a woman to bring her wall down and decide to trust her husband again after there’s been damage due to a pornography addiction or infidelity. One of the scariest things for her is the possibility of getting hurt again by her husband if he relapses, so it’s easy to keep the guard up. The problem is that the more protected she is behind the wall, progress in the relations...

When there’s a lack of trust in the relationship due to a pornography addiction, it can be hard for a wife to believe what her husband is saying. So often, there is an impasse in the conversations they have where she feels stuck and he’s not able to move forward because she doesn’t believe him. In this episode I share with you a framework they can help you navigate those tough conversations and di...

Most men who are struggling with pornography addiction are really hard on themselves – they see themselves as bad people, unworthy, broken, or failures. The more somebody is self critical, the more it sets them up to fall right back into the addiction as a way to cope from the pain. This episode reveals one of the most powerful tools to help change how you see yourself, and stop the self shaming t...

Does pornography affect the brain neurochemistry? They are finally starting to come out with studies and do research on the impact of pornography has on the brain, and their findings are so important so people can better understand the effects it has.  Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist and professor at Stanford, shared some important findings in some recent interviews, and in this episode of t...

So often a wife will wonder if her husband would have ever changed and stopped watching pornography if she didn’t catch him. Most of the time the husband starts taking real action after he’s found out, which can be frustrating and hurtful for a wife. In this episode, I answer the question about whether or not, he would have changed and give you some tools to know how to approach the situation in a...

Triggers and urges for pornography can be completely overwhelming for husbands who are on this journey. There is often a real struggle when the thought to act out surfaces, despite their desire to avoid temptation and relapse.  It’s almost like something outside of them is trying to pull them back into old patterns, and one of the main tools that husbands often use to overcome these triggers, and...

When there has been betrayal due to a pornography addiction, a woman will often ask her husband why he did, how he could have hurt her like that, why didn’t he consider her or the family, etc. There’s one main reason why oftentimes these discussions lead to frustration, defensiveness, and disconnection, and without addressing it the conversations will continue to go nowhere and leave you feeling h...

So often a wife will have a conversation with her husband about how much pain his watching pornography causes her. he said is that he will stop the behavior, but then months or years later it’s discovered that he never stopped after all.  She feels hurt and betrayed because she explained how much she is affected by it, yet he continued to watch it despite the conversation. In this episode I talk a...

After there’s been betrayal due to a pornography addiction, it can be very difficult to feel secure and safe in the relationship. And a lot of women find themselves feeling stuck and can’t get out of the pain regardless of what her husband does. In this episode, we discuss what a wife needs to do in order to find freedom and work through the betrayal, how a husband can help participate in the heal...

When people are trying to overcome the impact that pornography addiction has in their marriage, there are 3 separate (and overlapping) aspects to healing - his healing, hers, and the relationship. Many times, a husband and wife might progress at different speeds along the path of healing, and there are lots of times when a husband gets better and a wife gets worst. In this episode, I invited Jolen...

When a woman feels betrayal after discovering her husband's pornography addiction, EVERYTHING can feel like a trigger, even him. He reminds her of his actions and the pain he's caused, yet he can also be a source of comfort at the same time. The push/pull of wanting him close for comfort, but also feeling such intense anger and disgust at the same time can be overwhelming and confusing. In this ep...

So many women struggle feeling like what they are doing isn't enough.. If she was more sexual, thinner, didn't criticize, easy-going, etc., then he wouldn't act out. In this episode, I share what can be doing to address this dynamic, and what needs to happen for there to be lasting changes to the addiction. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org W...

When a man struggles with pornography addiction, sometimes the behaviors escalate into physical acting out. When a man struggles with sex addiction, there is a very specific reason why, and in this episode we talk about sex addiction, the root cause of it, and how to overcome it. It's important to recognize that the core of the addiction ISN'T because of a lack of sex or affection from their partn...