Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing

After betrayal, safety feels impossible—especially when your partner is the one who broke it. In this episode, Alana Gordon is joined by betrayal trauma coach, Laura Fisher , to explore a powerful reframe: what if safety doesn’t start with your partner at all? Together, they unpack: Why betrayal trauma lives in the body, not just the mind How your nervous system tried to protect you long before di...

Is it gaslighting — or defensiveness rooted in shame? For betrayed partners, the difference matters…but not in the way you might think. In this episode, Sarah Morales joins Amie to break down: Gaslighting vs normal relational conflict Why “I didn’t mean to” isn’t the deciding factor How repeated harm still counts — even without malicious intent What it actually means to take your power back If you...

If you’ve done the work — therapy, somatic healing, journaling, inner reflection — yet still feel a part of you is collapsed, disconnected, or joyless, you’re not alone...and you’re not done healing yet. In this special bonus episode, Alana, Amie, and Hali get raw, passionate, and vulnerable about the Rise, Renew, Restore Retreat — a soul-level transformational experience specifically designed for...

If healing feels uncomfortable lately, this episode is for you. This week Alana talks about the difference between dysregulation and readiness — and how discomfort can be a sign you’re ready to move from survival into growth. This episode offers a compassionate, trauma-informed reframe for betrayal trauma survivors who feel stuck, restless, or unsure of their next step. You’re not broken. You migh...

Betrayal doesn’t just hurt—it changes how you attach, trust, and feel safe. Dr. Laney Knowlton (LMFT-S, CSAT-S, CPTT-S, CCPS, CST, CCRDS-S, RAE) joins Amie and Alana and explains how betrayal trauma impacts attachment styles, why disorganized attachment is so common after infidelity, and how healing can happen even if your relationship doesn’t survive. If you’ve ever wondered “Am I broken forever?...

The stories we tell ourselves after trauma shape everything—our relationships, boundaries, and sense of worth. In this episode, Bella shares her raw and transformative recovery journey, revealing how childhood trauma, shame, and survival defenses silently guided her life until everything fell apart. Through therapy, inner child healing, and radical self-honesty, she learned to rewrite the story—an...

Holidays can be triggering when you’re healing from betrayal or navigating a tender recovery season. Your body remembers the pain, even when your mind wants to enjoy the good moments. This episode offers grounding tools, emotional validation, and practical strategies to move through the season without shame, self-judgment, or overwhelm. Learn why your reactions make sense and how to support yourse...

What happens after betrayal turns your life upside down? In this hope-filled episode, Amie and Alana talk with author and expert Tammy Gustafson, LPC , whose new book Broken to Brave maps out the four phases of healing after intimate betrayal. Together they explore: Why early urgency (“Should I stay or go?”) can derail healing What the nervous system needs after relational trauma Why trust isn&#39...

When betrayal trauma enters a relationship, the question “Should I stay or should I go?” becomes unavoidable—even if it feels terrifying to consider. In this episode, Amie explores trauma-informed ways to evaluate safety, patterns, repair, and whether healing is possible inside the relationship. You’ll learn why considering divorce is not the same as choosing it, how to assess real change, and how...

In this episode, Amie and Alana unpack what a couple check-in really is, why so many partners feel confused or re-injured during them, and how to structure check-ins in a way that protects emotional safety. They discuss readiness, timing, frequency, boundaries, and why the betraying partner must lead the process—not as a checkbox, but as genuine accountability. If your check-ins feel tense, weapon...

Trauma lives in the body—sometimes long after the crisis ends. In this episode, nutritionist and trauma specialist Meg Bowman ( MS, CNS, LDN, CHES ) breaks down how food, stress, safety, and the nervous system are woven together. You’ll learn why your body might still feel unsafe, how trauma impacts digestion and hunger, and what compassionate nutrition can do to support betrayal trauma recovery....

What if “calm” isn’t emotional regulation — but a trauma response? In this compassionate teaching episode, Amie Woolsey clarifies what emotional regulation really is (and isn’t). Discover how to recognize suppression, spiritual bypassing, and fawning patterns — and learn how to come back to safety in your body without pretending to be “okay.” Perfect for anyone healing from betrayal trauma, addict...

Your body has been holding the truth all along—through chronic pain, gut instincts, and nervous system activation that won't settle. Learn why listening to your body is essential for healing from betrayal trauma, even when you're still waiting for full disclosure or struggling with hypervigilance.  Discover how to find closure without confession, reconnect with your body's wisdom, and...

*Get our FREE eBook⁠ “Is a Full Therapeutic Disclosure Right For Me?”⁠⁠ delivered straight to your inbox. ⁠ Sign up here!⁠ * When your partner reveals information bit by bit instead of all at once, it's called trickle disclosure, and it's retraumatizing your body with every new revelation.  This episode validates the exhausting cycle of partial truths and discoveries, explains why your ner...

Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to podcast@chooserecoveryservices.com .  Can you name your emotions beyond happy, sad, and mad? In this final episode of our real recovery series, we dive into the emotional work that transforms recovery from performance into real transformation.  If you've been doing all the "right thing...

When recovery feels like an endless checklist, how do you know if real change is happening? This week Amie and Alana break down the concrete, visible behaviors that build the foundation of safety and trust after betrayal–from radical transparency to making amends.  Discover why doing all the “right things” might still leave you feeling disconnected, and what’s missing when actions don’t lead to he...

Are you questioning if your partner's recovery is genuine or performative? In this episode, Amie and Alana delve into the concept of weaponized recovery, helping you understand when recovery efforts may be used manipulatively rather than authentically.  Learn to identify signs of true recovery, the importance of somatic work, and how to maintain your own mental and emotional safety.  Listen to lea...

Have you heard about breathwork but aren’t quite sure what it is or how to begin? This week we are excited to welcome Kurtis Lee Thomas to the podcast. Kurtis is the founder of Breathwork Detox Modality and was named 2024 Entrepreneur of the Year by Best Holistic Life Magazine.  Learn how Kurtis’s journey led him to discover the healing power of breathwork and practical tips you can apply. If you’...

Have you ever felt dismissed or minimized in your relationship? Have you been made to feel as though your concerns are crazy or unimportant? If so, keep listening! This week Amie continues the conversation around gaslighting in relationships.  Listen in as she relates a powerful analogy between a neighborhood dispute and gaslighting tactics often seen in toxic relationships. Through this example s...

Join us this week for a replay of one of our most popular episodes!  When your partner turns your therapy progress into ammunition against you and conversations become twisted battles where you end up apologizing for things you never did wrong, you might be experiencing a calculated pattern of emotional abuse.  This eye-opening episode breaks down the DARVO technique (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim...

Join us this week for a replay of one of our most popular episodes!  How can you trust yourself again after betrayal? Being betrayed by a partner is traumatizing physiologically, emotionally, and mentally. When you’ve had this kind of blow in your life, it affects your sense of self, sense of safety, and self identity. This makes trusting yourself difficult.  This is a very natural response when y...

How do you find your way back to loving yourself when betrayal has left you feeling broken and unworthy? Discover five transformative practices to rebuild your relationship with yourself, from alignment and boundaries to celebration and vitality. These aren't quick fixes, but foundational shifts that teach your nervous system you matter. What you’ll learn: How to realign with your values inste...

Do you feel like you’ve gone from calm and collected to emotionally unstable since experiencing betrayal? You’re not broken; your brain is just trying to protect you. This week Alana breaks down the science behind why betrayal throws your nervous system into overdrive and shrinks your window of tolerance. Listen to learn: How betrayal activates your brain’s alarm system Why your window of toleranc...

What does real healing look like? This week Alana welcomes Athina Chiron to the podcast. Athina shares her deeply personal journey from trauma survivor to healing professional.  Athina offers a raw and honest look at what healing actually feels like day-to-day. She breaks down the myth that healing has a finish line and instead reframes it as an ongoing journey of growth, renegotiation, and moving...

Are you caught in a cycle of stress and trauma? In this episode, Amie dives into the symbolism of isometric workouts as it relates to the deep, quiet strength needed for healing trauma and regulating the nervous system.  Drawing from her own experiences and client stories, Amie offers insights into recognizing dysregulation and nurturing a resilient, self-trusting nervous system.  Tune in to uncov...