Can You Don't?

What would you do if you were cleaning a hotel room and came across a bunch of cocaine? Take it? Call the police? Let's talk about that, flying to the wrong city by accident, the true fighting power of 10,000 rats, how much Joe is enjoying the dating app world, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each epi...

What would your reaction be if you stumbled across a romantic novel that was using your face on the cover without you knowing? Let's talk about that, how hot your partner would have to be in order for you to ignore some super annoying thing they do, how gross is toothpaste spit in the sink, what happens if you make the song "Roxanna" only about rocks, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!...

Remember that time your wife left town for a fun vacation and you randomly decided to buy a Tesla without talking to her about it? Bryan does. Let's talk about that, burning your legs off with hot oil, showing up naked to your court hearing, why does every dad have a giant bin of useless cables, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the e...

What would you do if you hired professional movers who straight up quit after getting your couch wedged in the stairwell? Let's talk about that, a gun range that also serves alcohol, a bitter business owner who threatens costumers who leave one-star reviews, sitting on a cake while you gobble down a dong, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access...

*** FREE PATREON BONUS CONTENT PREVIEW*** Give it a listen! And we hope you'll consider supporting the show on Patreon! http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/cany...

Is there any amount of money you would accept in exchange for having birds constantly try to land on you? Let's talk about that, Bryan's dad hiding batteries everywhere he possibly could, Joe's dad making the entire family sleep outside in the winter, hiding snacks from your partner, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content...

Can you ride a unicycle? If yes, would you consider riding it over 1,800 miles along the entire eastern seaboard?! Let's talk about that, fishing for things inside your vagina, tying tiny backpacks full of meth to pigeons attempting to smuggle drugs into prison, one of the weirdest cashier experiences of all time, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle a...

How mad do you get when playing video games online? Ever thrown you controller off a balcony into the street? haha... let's talk about that, why Joe hates banks so much, getting insanely pissed that an ambulance is parked in the bike lane, what happens when you slow down Alvin and the Chipmunks, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the e...

What if you found out the person that had been cyberbullying you and your friends for YEARS was actually your own mother?! Let's talk about that, only being able to orgasm after hearing bad news, printing your own face on a potato, why are sleeping bag storage bags so Goddamn small, and more on today's episode of Can You Dont?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content o...

Last episode of 2022, coming in HOT! Let's talk about that, having flaccid teeth that only get hard when you're hungry, getting cum on your aunt's hoodie, why do certain businesses feel it's necessary to send out year end emails, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreo...

Have you ever stopped and truly thought about how creepy the concept of Santa really is?! It's insane. Let's talk about that, getting pubes stuck to your face, a toilet that either hates or loves you pooping in it, pumping 69 babies out of your vagina, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS...

Can you imagine reaching a stage in your life where you're totally cool with unplugging someone's oxygen breathing machine because the noise was bugging you? Let's talk about that, everyone in the world being way happier than you, bringing your dead dog into an Olive Garden, the stupid shit we all did as kids, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and a...

What's the deal with fingerless gloves? Do you want your hands to be warm OR NOT?! Let's talk about that, a lady getting away with straight up punching a baby, selling your roommate's car without his permission, getting a nice spanking after each time you sneeze, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each e...

What would you do if your doctor informed you that you're going to die, but then hired a barbershop quartet to explain all the details? Let's talk about that, lopping off someone's appendage without their consent, a happy ending to a doggie pane crash, pranking your loved ones on Christmas, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Our Patreon page is LIV...

Did you think you could clinch your butthole hard enough around some anal beds to stop yourself from falling to your death? Let's talk about that, an underwater museum that we had no idea existed, a lady using bees as an attack animal, accidentally coating your own sunglasses in semen, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't? *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! Thi...

When's the last time your girlfriend's mom invited you to suck whipped cream off her toes? Never? Right. Let's talk about that, having to flip a coin to make any decision, sticking your peen in a hot cup of coffee, being able to smell Parkinson's disease, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can s...

What would you do if you woke up one day, looked outside, and someone had set up an entire yard sale in your lawn selling none of your items? Let's talk about that, hitting 5th graders in the head with a baseball bat, headlights for your Crocs, being run over multiple times by the same car, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Our Patreon page is LIV...

How frustrating would it be to call 911 and have to navigate robotic menu options in order to get the help you need? haha let's talk about that, throwing your own son under the bus to save face, barking like a dog at other people's kids, pushing old people over, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way yo...

This is the only time of the year you get to potentially see Yoshi beating the crap out of a vampire. And there's something special about that opportunity. Let's talk about that, accidentally inviting all of Hell into your home, doing a half-ass job at taking out the trash, having sex in a Gravitron, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Our Patreon p...

Remember that one time you were showing your friend pictures of your car on your phone but he kept scrolling and then unknowingly called you super sexy because of a different picture he saw? Let's talk about that, revenge among siblings, everything you touch always being just a little sticky, where to buy dried out beaver balls, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part...

Imagine a world full of food delivery robots... however, they always fall over and scream for "HELP!" all day long. Sounds so peaceful. Let's talk about that, the Mariners finally making it to the post season for the first time since dinosaurs were alive, yeeting your baby into the grill of a truck, singing John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt while masturbating, and more on today's episode of Can You...

Remember that time you accidentally packed your super illegal switchblade into your backpack and attempted to go through airport security? Whoops. Let's talk about that, getting hit by a train while being detained in a cop car, leaving bags of poop on your ex's tombstone, getting trapped in a room with one person for 30 years, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of...

Have you ever wondered if cavemen used smoke signals to make booty calls? Let's talk about that, some dirty secrets from listeners with our first confessions segment, Bryan's sad childhood with no chocolate calendars, trying to fall asleep while your house is on fire, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest...

Remember that time you were lost in the Colorado wilderness and a helicopter crew that was out looking for you almost didn't stop because they thought you were just saying hi? Let's talk about that, why a uniform makes you look so gosh dang important, maybe the grossest WYR we've had so far, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Our Patreon page is LI...

The real question here is can you return a wedding dress you accidentally buried your grandma in? Let's talk about that, sending your semen to a stranger to have it made into a necklace, how hard it would be to beat up a 100 pound bee, mistakenly getting a penis or two in your mouth, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This...