Can You Don't?

How funny is the world going to look when everyone is aloud to own and operate their own jetpacks? Let's talk about that, leaving your family because they don't know how to use a trashcan, promotional events that completely backfired, tugging on your dong while running a marathon, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on...

Joe might have accidentally ruined some poor stranger's life in an airport on his way back from vacation. The world may never know. Let's talk about that, shoving chicken blood in your vagina to pretend you're still a virgin, some of the most ridiculous stadium names out there, screaming at cyclists for doing stupid cyclists things, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become p...

Have you ever wished you had a birdhouse made out of soap that you could smash your penis inside of while taking a shower? YOU HAVE?! Us too. Let's talk about that, having to get permission from your parents every time you wanted to orgasm, accidentally launching a baby out of a moving vehicle, getting way too high and attempting to complete an escape room with your family, and more on today's epi...

How would you react if you came home from work to find your dog chewing on the leg of a vintage Barbie doll? Let's talk about that, how good you'd be at bowling if you did it everyday for a year straight, a 10ft tall metal spaceship that's for sale online, threatening to go on a hunger strike over a situation that definitely doesn't require a hunger strike, and more on today's episode of Can You D...

If you filled an entire swimming pool with used condoms, would you sink to the bottom or just kinda sit on top? Let's talk about that, having to get a search warrant to do a cavity search, doctors being able to reattach a kid's head, baboons stealing chips from a gas station, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the...

How annoying is it when people stop to chat in the middle of a busy walkway, clogging everything up for everyone? Bryan get's super fired up. Let's talk about that, no one caring that you're trying to rob them, having to live full time inside a strip club, getting offered a blowjob while taking a massive dump at a rest area, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of T...

What would you do if you were robbed at gunpoint... but then the robber made you friend request him on Facebook because you were too pretty to rob? Yep... that happened. Let's talk about that, celebrate a whole month of Uncle Zaq sleeping on the couch in the CYD basement, tossing a 3 year old in jail for peeing his pants, medicine that can help you grow teeth, and more on today's episode of Can Yo...

Have you ever been watching porn, had something catch you off guard, and then just end up laughing instead of finishing? Joe will explain. Let's talk about that, a drunk magician who just pisses all over a stranger, Bryan not being sure what cheddar cheese looks, Lance Armstrong hanging a pair of balls off his bike, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle...

Have you ever been put in charge of bringing something on a trip and then completely f**king it up beyond comprehension? Joe did. Let's talk about that, admitting your sins to a fake priest at your job, never being able to poop in a toilet ever again, getting hammered then ransacking an entire gas station, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and acces...

Wooooooooooooah Nelly! That was easily the most insane lap around the sun of our lives, but we are so grateful to have made the journey with all of you. We appreciate your support more than you will ever know. To celebrate, let's read some insane confessions! And probably talk about dongs. Love you all! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode...

What would your reaction be if you took a bite out of a hotdog and found a gram of cocaine just chillin' in the bun? Let's talk about that, never having enough spoons in the Goddamn house, jumping out of a boat going 70 mph, some pretty sweet info about humans possessing alien aircraft, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra cont...

There's dumb... and then there's following your GPS into the ocean dumb. Let's talk about that, how awkward yard sales can be, people smashing their thumbs into your eyes because they love you, bashing a bunch of baby seals in a dance club, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?!...

Have you ever thought about how goofy hot air balloons are... and can you imagine if we used them as a main form of transportation? Let's talk about that, waking up in a hotel to a stranger sucking your toes, Bryan having the hardest time reading of all time, walking in on your husband being breastfeed by his own mother, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The G...

How many times can your partner set the microwave on fire before you just end up leaving? Let's talk about that, switching seats with your dog after getting pulled over, an old lady who wanted nothing more than to attend a striptease, how far will restaurants push the self-bussing situation, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra...

If your dying partner requested to have sex with an ex one last time before they passed away, how would you handle that situation? Ask to watch? Cry? Both?! Let's talk about that, trying to explain weird objects in different languages, an HOA making a disabled couple tear down their wheelchair ramp, meeting your great great great great grandchildren, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!...

Pre-ripped jeans isn't a new concept by any means, but how much would you be willing to spend on a pair if the rips were created by lions?! Let's talk about that, stealing roughly 5 tons worth of dimes from a semi-truck, some little ass-clown punching the hood of Joe's car inside out, crazy items that have been left behind in Ubers, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become p...

Remember that time you had sex with an old friend, then your girlfriend, then your fiend's sister in the back of your girlfriend's car... all in about 20 hours? Let's talk about that, masturbating on an airplane between two strangers, your dad telling you to do some questionable stuff with your step-sister, throwing an alternator at another car wile going down the freeway, and more on today's epis...

How much fun would it be if local businesses were allowed to rent out hotel rooms and turn that hotel into some neat little mall? Let's talk about that, why Joe isn't a fan of jam bands, playing Monopoly on the sidewalk in the middle of the night, a sad version of a CYD classic, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on t...

If you were a middle school student and your teacher was organizing a Fight Club in her classroom during school hours... would you be able to keep it a secret? Let's talk about that, pretending to choke so many times that when you're actually choking no one gives a hoot, men modeling lingerie in China because China is doing China things, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna bec...

If you had to get a QR code tattooed above your genitals, what would it link people to when they scanned it? Let's talk about that, teaching a bird to be a total creep, being the talent scout for the St. Jude commercials, pulling a machete on a karaoke DJ for not letting you sing another song, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the ext...

Who was the first person to look at a wild horse and be all like, "Imma climb on it." Let's talk about that, a plumber falling asleep in your crawlspace for three hours, setting up a drum-set on the side of the freeway to waste time, having to clean an entire semi-truck with your tongue, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra con...

When going on a date with someone new, what would you consider a good gift idea? Flowers? Chocolate? A dead animal you just shot earlier that day? Big yikes. Let's talk about that, failing your driving test and showing disapproval by doing burnouts down the road, finding your dead husband in the closet 8 months later, using a dating app to find a lost pet, and more on today's episode of Can You Do...

Have you ever dreamed of having antisemitic slurs yelled at you by some dude dressed up as Elmo? If yes, we have some great news! Let's talk about that, imagining if Superman had a crippling fear of heights, why are some movie theatre candies wrapped in the LOUDEST PLASTIC EVER INVENTED, completing your flying lesson with a dead instructor, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna...

Have you ever pondered how extremely important font choice is when getting a tattoo? Gang tattoos would look pretty goofy in Wingdings. Let's talk about that, getting all the skin on your arm completely peeled off, Rihanna being the official soundtrack in Hell, why do some people hide their toaster, and more on today's episode of Can You Dont?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all th...

Remember that one time you went to a birthday party in a hotel room, got bored and decided to poop on a plate, stick in the microwave, press 99:99, then leave the party? Let's talk about that, proud and not so proud memories we have with our children, how many people growing up had sex with their friend's mom, plowing into a parked car and somehow getting a promotion because of it, and more on tod...