But You Look So Good

The pressure to hold it all together, keep achieving, and be “fine” - even when your body is anything but. In this episode, we explore the idea of “unicorn standards” - the often invisible, unrelenting expectations we place on ourselves to do more, be more, and cope better than is realistically possible. When you’re living with a chronic health condition, these standards can become even harsher… l...

Today we’re speaking with Sarah, a 45-year-old woman from Perth who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2023 after a routine mammogram. While Sarah is now cancer-free after a year of intensive treatment, her story highlights a reality that often goes unspoken: being cancer-free doesn’t always mean being free of cancer. In this conversation, Sarah talks about the experience of living in the space b...

Loneliness and isolation are experiences many people describe when living with a chronic health condition. Sometimes it’s the reality of relationships changing or people drifting away. Other times, it’s a quieter loneliness - the feeling of being surrounded by people who care, yet still feeling alone in an experience that others may not fully understand. In this episode, we explore what loneliness...

In this episode we speak with Sophie, who shares her story of navigating multiple health diagnoses from her teenage years and the profound life changes that followed, including losing her hearing in her 20s. Sophie reflects on how these experiences reshaped the way she communicates, connects with others, and understands herself. We talk about identity, relationships, loneliness, and the unexpected...

What it’s really like to love someone whose life, body, or identity has changed This episode is for the people who stay - partners, friends, parents, siblings - who are trying to love someone whose life has changed, and quietly wonder if they’re getting it right. We talk about what it actually feels like on both sides of change: the grief that sits heavily, the awkwardness that can creep into conv...

We live in a world that glorifies multitasking - answering emails while listening to a podcast, cooking dinner while helping with homework, scrolling while “relaxing.” But what if multitasking isn’t a superpower at all? In this episode, we explore the psychology and neuroscience behind why our brains struggle to do multiple cognitively demanding tasks at once. We unpack the concept of “switch cost...

What does “flow” mean when your body has other plans? We hear athletes at the Winter Olympics talk about being “in the zone” - moments where time disappears, movement feels effortless, and everything just clicks. But for people living with chronic health conditions, those versions of flow can feel distant, lost, or even painful to hear about. In this episode of But You Look So Good, Sally and Seon...

Who stays, who fades, and how to grieve that (and come out the other side). Friendships can be for a reason, a season or for a lifetime.  Living with a chronic health condition can make navigating friendships seem more difficult sometimes. Chronic illness doesn’t just change bodies - it changes relationships. In this episode, we explore what happens to friendships after diagnosis: why some deepen,...

We often talk about diet, movement and medication when it comes to health - but what about where we spend our time? In this episode, we explore blue spaces (oceans, rivers, lakes) and green spaces (parks, forests, gardens) and why time in nature isn’t just “nice” - it’s genuinely good for our physical and mental wellbeing. With a particular focus on people living with chronic health conditions, we...

In this episode, psychologists Sally and Seona unpack why so many people with chronic health conditions fall into people-pleasing, over-functioning, or peacekeeping roles — and the huge emotional and physical cost that comes with it. We explore where these patterns come from (spoiler: childhood roles, culture, trauma, gender expectations, and fear of conflict), why they often intensify after a chr...

In this re-released episode, Sally and Seona sit down with dietitian Marnie Nitschke to dig into the tricky relationship people with chronic health conditions often have with food. Marnie shares her expertise on balanced eating, myth-busting around specific diets, and why “one-size-fits-all” nutrition rarely works. They explore popular diets like anti-inflammatory and Mediterranean, discussing the...

Re-release of this insightful and entertaining episode of But You Look So Good , Seona and Sally sit down with GP Melanie Tait, who brings a unique perspective as both a doctor and someone living with a chronic health condition. They dive into the often misunderstood dynamics of the GP-patient relationship, sharing tips on how to make the most of your GP visits, what to expect (and not expect) fro...

In this episode, Sally and Seona unpack what introversion and extroversion really mean — and why understanding your social energy becomes even more important when you’re living with a chronic health condition. They explore how chronic illness can change your social battery, why socialising may feel more draining or complicated than it used to, and how this isn’t a personal failing but a nervous sy...

As 2025 comes to a close, Sally and Seona invite you to pause, breathe, and reflect — gently. In this episode, they look back on the year that was and talk about why reflection can be especially meaningful (and complicated) for people living with chronic health conditions. Together, they explore how to acknowledge challenges, honour invisible effort, and make sense of change without slipping into...

In this re-released episode (recorded Christmas 2024), Seona and Sally delve into the whirlpool of the festive season, sharing personal anecdotes and exploring strategies to help you manage the stress and chaos of Christmas. From dealing with grief during the holidays to navigating the pressure of social expectations, they offer practical tips and psychological insights. Tune in for a candid discu...

Join psychologists Sally and Seona for a fun, heart-warming dive into the world of pets and the surprising ways they can boost our wellbeing - especially when living with a chronic health condition. From loyal dogs who get us out the door, to snuggly cats who know exactly when we need comfort, to fish, birds, and all the quirky critters in between, this episode explores why animals can make such a...

Re-Release: In this episode titled “Who’s going to date you now?," hosts Sally Shaw and Seona Ilalio tackle the complexities of dating with a chronic health condition. They delve into the unique challenges of disclosing your condition to potential partners and how this crucial conversation can often serve as a useful screener for compatibility or to filter out unsuitable matches. Sally and Se...

Communication feels like it should come naturally — we speak every day, after all — but real, effective communication isn’t instinctive. It’s a learned skill, not a personality trait. And if you’ve ever thought, “I’m just not good at communicating,” here’s the good news: you absolutely can learn it, strengthen it, and make it work for you. In this episode, we unpack why communicating can feel so m...

Ever wondered why people with chronic illness talk so much about spoons? In today’s episode, psychologists Sally and Seona dive into Spoon Theory - the cutlery-based metaphor that attempts to explain what it’s like to navigate life with limited energy. They unpack the origin story of the theory, created in 2003 by writer Christine Miserandino, who used a handful of spoons in a restaurant to explai...

We often hear about the medical and social models of disability — but there’s another one quietly shaping attitudes toward people with chronic illness and disability: the pity model , sometimes called the charity model . This model positions people as tragic or brave simply for existing, creating distance rather than connection. It can show up in fundraising drives, well-meaning comments, or syste...

In this episode, we’re talking about ego - not in the “you’ve got a big ego” kind of way, but in the psychological sense: the part of us that helps shape our identity, our sense of control, and how we relate to the world. For people living with chronic health conditions, understanding ego is powerful. Because illness challenges everything the ego likes: control, competence, independence, achieveme...

Join psychologists Sally and Seona as they unpack the art of habit creation when you’re living with a chronic health condition. We’re not talking about running marathons or green juice cleanses - we mean small, doable habits that actually make life easier. From moving your body (even a little), eating well without guilt, managing appointments and meds without losing your mind, to nurturing your re...

Ever found yourself wondering if that friend who says, “You don’t look sick!” is waving a tiny red flag? In this episode, psychologists Sally and Seona dive into the world of green-flag relationships - the people who make you feel safe, seen, and slightly more human on the rough days. We unpack what red and green flags really mean, why supportive connections are good for both your mood and your im...

Let’s talk wee and poo (yes, really). In this episode, psychologists Sally and Seona are joined by MS, Immunotherapy, and Continence Support Nurse KJ Lazarus from the Austin Hospital in Melbourne for an honest—and surprisingly funny—chat about one of the least talked-about sides of many chronic health conditions: continence. From unexpected leaks to constipation woes, KJ brings warmth, humour, and...

Have you noticed how many people wear T-shirts, tote bags, or pins that say “F#@k MS,” “F#@k Cancer,” “F#@k Fibromyalgia,” “F#@k Pain,” or “F#@k This Fatigue”? There’s a reason those slogans resonate so deeply — they capture something that most people living with chronic health conditions rarely get to express openly: anger . That gut-level, exhausted, fed-up, “I can’t do this anymore” kind of ang...