But You Look So Good

Today we're speaking with Clara, a GP from Scotland who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2014, just months after the birth of her first child. As a doctor, Clara had spent years recognising symptoms in other people. But when those symptoms appeared in her own body, she found every reason to explain them away. In fact, she admits she almost felt like she was humouring her neurologist by...

Does living with a chronic illness leave you feeling guilty about the kind of parent you are? Whether it's missing school events, cancelling family plans, needing extra rest, or feeling like your children are missing out, parental guilt can be overwhelming. In this episode, we explore why guilt is so common for parents living with chronic health conditions, the difference between guilt and sha...

What happens when you realise the dating world simply wasn't designed with people like you in mind? After years of navigating chronic illness, more than 40 surgeries, and life with a feeding tube, Jacqueline found that one of her biggest challenges wasn't her health—it was dating. Not because of who she was, but because dating apps weren't built with disabled and chronically ill people...

Menopause can be challenging for anyone—but when you're already living with a chronic health condition, it can feel like a whole new layer of symptoms, uncertainty, and frustration. In this episode, we explore the complex relationship between menopause and chronic illness, including why it can be so difficult to tell where one ends and the other begins. We discuss the common overlap of symptom...

Today we're sitting down with Chris Henderson, a man who in 2017 went from playing football in regional Victoria to sitting in a hospital bed being told he had multiple sclerosis, and then being told he'd never play sport again. For someone whose identity was built around sport, that news was devastating. But Chris found his way back to sport and discovered a completely different version o...

Living with a chronic health condition can feel like you're constantly fighting your own body. But what if many of the challenges you experience—fatigue, pain, brain fog, anxiety, overwhelm, poor sleep, and even burnout—are connected to the way your nervous system is responding to ongoing stress and illness? In this episode, Seona and Sally explore the nervous system in simple, practical terms...

Welcome to Anne's Story. Today, you'll be hearing Anne Freeman's voice and story. Anne was 21 years old when she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. What followed was not only the challenge of learning to manage a lifelong condition, but also the emotional and psychological impact of adapting to a future she had never imagined for herself. In this Voices story, Anne reflects on the rea...

Living with a chronic health condition means your energy is precious. So what happens when the people around you leave you feeling drained, criticised, guilty, or emotionally exhausted?  In this episode, psychologists Dr Sally Shaw and Seona Ilalio explore the impact of toxic relationships on our mental and physical health. From friends and family members to health professionals, they discuss how...

Meet Lucy, a research psychologist from the UK living with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS), chronic migraine, and persistent pain that went undiagnosed for more than two decades. From painful periods and joint pain to migraines, digestive issues, and fatigue, Lucy spent years collecting diagnoses without anyone connecting the dots. Receiving an EDS diagnosis finally brought answers—but also a profoun...

One of the most painful experiences many people living with chronic illness, disability, mental health challenges, neurodivergence, grief, or major life setbacks experience is the feeling of being somehow "less than." Less successful. Less productive. Less capable. Less independent. Less worthy. In this episode, we unpack where this feeling comes from, why it is so common, and how much o...

 Today on But You Look So Good, we're sitting down with Becky, a woman who has spent her entire adult life single, and along the way, received a life-changing diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. While Becky has a close and supportive network of family and friends, living with a chronic health condition has meant facing many of life's biggest challenges independently. From managing symptoms an...

In our 100th episode of But You Look So Good , we reflect on the journey of creating this podcast as two psychologists living with MS — what we’ve learned, what has surprised us, and the incredible community that has formed around honest conversations about chronic illness. We then dive into one of the hardest realities many people face: the difference between acute illness and chronic illness. So...

Today's guest is Robyn, an award-winning comedian and writer who lives with Crohn's disease, a condition that affects millions of people worldwide, yet remains so often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and for many, carries a huge amount of shame. Because let's be honest, we're talking about symptoms that people often feel embarrassed to speak about, let alone joke about on stage. But...

Some days you can function. Some days you can’t. Some days you make plans, show up, laugh, work, parent, and feel almost like yourself. Other days, getting out of bed feels impossible. For many people living with chronic illness or disability, symptoms aren’t static. Capacity can shift hour to hour, day to day, week to week. Pain, fatigue, mobility, cognition, vision, strength, dizziness, function...

 Today you are hearing from Fiona, a woman from Ireland whose life has been shaped by an extraordinary journey through chronic illness, resilience, and reinvention. Fiona was diagnosed with a kidney disease while pregnant in 2009, a diagnosis that came completely out of nowhere. For the next seven years, she managed a progressive debilitating condition while raising three young children, navigatin...

What happens when the hardest part of living with a chronic illness isn’t just the symptoms — but the judgement? In this episode of But You Look So Good, Sally and Seona unpack the comments so many people with chronic health conditions hear: “It’s all in your head,” “Maybe if you exercised more,” “You’re a hypochondriac,” and “Stop using your condition as an excuse.” They explore the psychological...

Our guest today is Chris, a former nurse of thirty-one years and now an award-winning crime writer who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis after what he describes as a torturous nineteen-year journey to answers. In this conversation, Chris takes us back to those first strange symptoms, the years of pushing through, continuing to work in healthcare, and the frustration of navigating a medical sys...

Anxiety can feel very different when you live with a chronic illness. When your body has become unpredictable, your nervous system can begin to stay on high alert — scanning for symptoms, preparing for worst-case scenarios, and struggling to fully relax. In this episode, we explore the relationship between chronic illness and anxiety through a psychological lens. We discuss hypervigilance, uncerta...

 What does it take to keep going when your body, your career, and your identity all shift at once? In today's episode, we sit down with Amy, a doctor from the UK who has lived that very question. Her story begins in 2011 weeks before her wedding when she woke up, unable to feel half her body as a doctor. She suspected multiple sclerosis. Getting anyone to take her seriously was another story.  We...

Fatigue is one of the most common—and misunderstood—parts of living with a chronic illness. In this episode, we unpack what fatigue really is (hint: it’s not just being tired), why it happens, and why it can feel so unpredictable and overwhelming. Drawing on both our clinical work and lived experience, we explore the physical, cognitive, and emotional layers of fatigue—and the science behind it. W...

 What does it feel like to be 35 years old, living abroad, building a career you love, and then having a doctor tell you in five minutes that you have Parkinson's disease? Today's guest, Devon, was doing exactly that, working in refugee protection across the globe when a small tremor in her right hand at a late night dinner in Greece changed everything. In this conversation, Devin opens up about w...

Ever feel like you’re doing the same things as everyone else… but it somehow costs you more? Welcome to the disability tax . In this episode, Sally and Seona unpack the invisible price of living with a chronic health condition — and spoiler: it’s not just about money. We’re talking energy, time, mental load, emotions, identity, and yes, the literal financial hit too. From the effort it takes just...

There’s a thought that shows up at some point for most people living with a chronic illness: “This isn’t fair.” In this episode, we explore where that thought comes from, why it’s so common — especially early on — and why it can continue to resurface over time. We unpack the idea of fairness itself, the emotional weight behind comparison and lost expectations, and how this thought shows up across...

Deciding whether to have kids is a big question — and when you’re living with a chronic health condition, it can feel even more complex. In this episode of But You Look So Good , psychologists Sally and Seona explore the emotional, practical, and deeply personal layers of this decision. From navigating “what ifs” and uncertainty, to managing other people’s opinions and your own self-doubt, they un...

In this episode, we talk about the experience of being “othered” — what it is, why it hurts so much, and why so many people with chronic health conditions experience it. We explore the psychological impact of feeling different, the shame that often comes with it, and how to build a life where different does not mean alone. We also talk about the identity shift that often comes with chronic illness...