Beyond Survival - The Therapy Podcast with Katie McKenna

When you finally find the strength to go no contact with abusive parents, it can feel like the hardest decision you'll ever make.  But what when of those parents becomes seriously ill? This week we hear from a listener who spent decades trying to make sense of life with a covertly narcissistic mother and an enabling father before choosing to protect herself and her own family through estrange...

What happens when the behaviours that hurt you look similar to traits associated with autism or ADHD? Where is the line between someone struggling because they're neurodivergent and someone causing harm through narcissistic patterns? In this episode, we explore the important differences between intention, impact, empathy, accountability, and "own agenda" behaviour.  We also talk abo...

For many children raised by narcissistic parents, their body becomes another battleground where they learn that who they are is never quite acceptable.  Too thin? There's a problem. Too heavy? There's a problem. Trying to improve yourself? That's a problem too. " I always felt that I disappointed my parents and they didn't like me." " I always went from chunky to...

In this episode, Katie & Ruth hear from a listener in the "raw stages of estrangement" – navigating the grief, fear, and disorientation that can come when the reality of a dysfunctional family system finally comes into focus. After years of minimising and carrying the impact of her father's emotional abuse, aggression, and physical violence – everything changed when that same be...

What happens when the parent who always refused accountability finally agrees to therapy? In this episode, Ruth and Katie explore the complex realities of dysfunctional family systems, the difference between reconciliation and repair, the risks and potential benefits of family therapy with a narcissistic or emotionally immature parent, and we delve deep into the pressure many adult children face t...

"Do as I say and you can stay. Piss me off and you are out." That was the message our listener received throughout her childhood. In this powerful letter, she reflects on growing up with a mother who repeatedly used the threat of abandonment to maintain control — leaving her with severe anxiety, a deep fear of rejection, and the sense that love could be withdrawn at any moment. Now a par...

In this week episode, I’m joined by Michelle from ADAPT Domestic Abuse Services for a vital conversation about domestic abuse and coercive control: How it can look in real life Why it can be so hard to recognise when you’re inside it and what support can make possible. Michelle brings years of frontline experience supporting women experiencing domestic abuse through outreach, education, family law...

If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I overreacting, or was that not okay?” — this episode is for you. For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, the question “Can I trust my own perception?” sits quietly at the centre of healing — shaping how you think, feel, and relate to yourself and others. In this episode, I shift the focus away from analysing the narcissist and bring it back to you — your internal wo...

In this solo episode, I dive deep into the fear so many people carry after narcissistic abuse: Is it me – Am I The problem?   When you’ve spent years being blamed, criticised, or made responsible for someone else’s behaviour, it’s so common to question yourself deeply. But there’s a huge difference between being human and being narcissistic. In this episode I'll explore how many survivors swi...

ADHD is something many people have heard of. You may know someone who has been diagnosed. You may already have a diagnosis, or maybe you’ve quietly wondered if it could explain parts of your life that have always felt harder than they should. For a lot of people, the story sounds like this: “This is just me. I’m scattered. I’m forgetful. I start things and don’t finish them. I’m bad at routines.”...

Adult children of narcissists parents often struggle to name what happened to them. In this episode, I’m joined again by Dr. Rachna Buxani , and we’re exploring the different faces of narcissism — and why it can be so hard to recognise.  While many people can spot the grandiose narcissist — the constant need to be the centre of attention, the arrogance, the lack of empathy — it’s the other, quiete...

Becoming a mother is often spoken about as a time of softness. A time where a mother is held, supported, celebrated. Where care naturally gathers around her. But for many adult children of narcissistic parents, pregnancy and having their own children can feel like the exact opposite. Instead of support, there can be intrusion. Instead of care, there can be control. Instead of being seen, there can...

When you’re raised by a narcissistic parent, the harm doesn’t come labelled as abuse.  It comes wrapped in concern, protection, closeness, and sacrifice. “ This is for your own good. ” “ I’m only saying this because I love you .”  Over time, these messages don’t just justify the behaviour — they shape how you understand yourself. In this episode, I unpack one of the most confusing and painful ques...

There is such a thing as Healthy Anger — but if you grew up around narcissistic rage, that can feel hard to believe. In this solo episode, I untangle the belief many adult children of narcissistic parents carry: the learned belief that anger is dangerous, destructive, or something to fear within yourself.  When anger was only ever modelled as explosive outbursts or cold withdrawal, it makes sense...

Anyone listening to an abusive parent in action can easily interpret the other parent’s silence as safety. Because they don’t join in, they can appear to be “the good parent” — the one who feels more trustworthy, more stable, more protective. But silence in these dynamics is rarely neutral. In this episode, I explore the often-overlooked role of the passive or non-abusive parent — and how their in...

When you grow up in a narcissistic family, you don’t get the space to become yourself. Your wants are dismissed, your needs are overlooked, and your boundaries are annihilated. So in healing, we’re not just recovering — we’re learning who we are for the first time. One part of identity that often gets left out of this conversation is sexuality and desire. For many people, this area is deeply impac...

When raised in a narcissistic system, sibling bonds can become both a lifeline and a source of deep emotional strain.  In todays letter, we discuss the often unspoken dynamic of sibling abuse, trauma bonding, family roles, addiction, and the emotional toll of being the cycle breaker.  Ruth and I explore what happens when one sibling begins the healing journey — setting boundaries, going no contact...

This week a listener describes what it was like to grow up largely invisible and also scapegoated, while their older sister held the role of the golden child.  With a covertly narcissistic mother and an overtly narcissistic father, achievements, independence, and curiosity were mocked rather than celebrated, while approval always seemed just out of reach. Praise was offered to strangers, but rarel...

Did I do the right thing? Am I being unreasonable? This week we hear from a listener who grew up with a controlling father who monitored finances, belittled her mother, mocked her intelligence, and ruled the house with, “If you live under my roof, you do as I say.”   She became the responsible daughter. The fixer. The emotional support system. The one who stayed close. After decades of being pulle...

In this episode, we’re exploring The Fawn response through the experience of a listener who grew up in a home shaped by addiction, conflict and emotional unpredictability. With siblings who needed significant care, he learned very early that the safest way to exist was to be low maintenance. Mature. Independent. No trouble.  He became highly attuned to other people’s moods — scanning faces, tracki...

If you grew up with a parent who rewrote history, denied conversations that clearly happened and turned every attempt at repair into an explosion… this episode is for you. In this episode of Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast , I read a listener’s story about going low contact, then no contact, after years of gaslighting, DARVO, and emotional manipulation.  We explore the role of the enabling p...

A listener writes in with a question that many people carry quietly (and can often feel ashamed for even thinking) Does life get more peaceful when they die? This listener was adopted into a family where love was conditional and pain was reframed as devotion. A father who minimised abuse as “loving too much.” A mother whose behaviour ruined milestones. Public humiliation at her wedding. Health cri...

In this episode, we hear from a 44-year-old listener whose role as “the strong one” began far too early. Raised in the 80s as the eldest of four children to unmarried parents, she grew up learning to stay quiet, stay alert, and stay responsible. With a hard-working, emotionally absent, father and a mother she had to tiptoe around, she was placed into the role of parent long before she had the chan...

In this episode, we read a letter from a listener who has spent her life being criticised by her mother — called “stupid,” shamed about her body, and told she was a mistake. When she shared the news of her engagement, her mother ignored her for a week. When she tried to express how hurt she felt, she was accused of “looking for trouble” and acting as if she thought she was better than everyone els...

In this episode we hear from a listener who has navigated years of emotional turmoil within her blended family. After a life-threatening childbirth, she faced ongoing manipulation, smear campaigns, and boundary violations from her mother-in-law, who sided with her husband’s ex and sought to control their family.  This powerful story explores the exhaustion of protecting your marriage and family wh...