Beyond Survival - The Therapy Podcast with Katie McKenna

When you leave a narcissistic family system, the separation rarely ends with you. Often, it comes with a quiet guilt for the sibling left behind - and for the children who loved the version of the family you worked so hard to preserve. In this week’s episode, we reflect on a letter from a listener who shares the painful complexity of this experience. For ten years, she helped her children see the...

Perfectionism can look like competence, control, or high standards, but what often hides underneath is a survival strategy. In this conversation, I’m joined by,  Podcast Host & Mindset Coach, Claire Fealy to explore how perfectionism hides in plain sight - in our work, relationships, bodies, and inner worlds. We talk about how perfectionism develops as protection, how it keeps us stuck in self...

In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist and author Dr Rachna Buxani , whose book Unseen: A Therapist’s Reflection on a Daughter’s Journey Through a Narcissistic Father’s Shadow. Together, we explore what happens when a father’s love feels more like control than care? We discuss the impact of growing up in emotional silence, the silent erosion of self-trust, and how a child learns to survive by...

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Natalie Faber t to explore a question I often return to: What if a narcissistic family system operates like a cult? When we hear the word cult , it can conjure images of something extreme, distant, or dramatic, something that happens to other people. But what if a cult simply describes a system. A system where one person’s reality becomes the only acceptable real...

In this episode, I explore the trauma responses many of us developed just to survive childhood and why they still show up in our adult lives.  I’ll break down the main trauma responses, the core wounds they originate from, and how these patterns are shaped by growing up with narcissistic parents. I’ll also walk you through the four types of narcissistic parents and how each one impacts a child’s n...

This week, I'm unpacking one of the most common yet misunderstood experiences for adult children of narcissistic abuse: N arcissistic Parentification .   I’ll walk through the different roles the children are cast into; Scapegoat Child, Golden Child, Enmeshed / Gilded Child, The Invisible Child, and how these roles profoundly shape your relationships, boundaries, identity, and sense of self t...

In today’s episode, I'm diving into Instrumental Parentification — a dynamic where a child becomes the household’s “mini Cinderella.” They’re the ones cooking, cleaning, managing bills and appointments, caring for siblings, or even being conditioned into the role of caregiver for an ill family member. We’ll explore how these adult-sized responsibilities shape a child’s sense of self, and how...

In this solo episode, I’m diving into the topic of parentification — what it looks like, how to recognise it, and why naming your experience is the essential first step toward healing. Before we can deconstruct and dismantle the roles and patterns we grew up with, we need the language to understand what truly happened to us. I’ll be sharing real, relatable examples to help you spot the subtle and...

In today’s episode, we dive deep into the complex topic of enmeshment —what it is, how it forms, and what healthy family patterns actually look like. We explore the journey of emancipation: how to recognise the conditioned roles you were assigned in childhood and, most importantly, how to break free from them. Joining us is Dr. Ken Adams , renowned national lecturer, workshop leader, and consultan...

“I started this work at the age of 19. I was a child abuse advocate, a sexual abuse advocate, a domestic violence advocate, a therapist — and yet, I didn’t know it was happening to me.” Dr. Christine Cocchiola is a leading expert on the experience of adult and child victims of coercive control. But even with all her knowledge and training, she found herself living inside the very dynamic she’d ded...

Solo Episode - This week on Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast , I’m unpacking the truth behind people pleasing.  So often we think of it as a habit or personality trait - but in reality, it’s a deeply ingrained survival response.  When a child grows up in dysfunction, their nervous system learns that safety comes from centering others and erasing themselves. This fawning response isn’t about b...

This week a listener asks a question: How do I let go of all the rage?   After years of no contact with her abusive family, she’s exhausted by how much power the past still has over her present.  She doesn’t want revenge or empty apologies - she just wants peace. But how do you move forward when there will never be justice? In this episode, we explore what rage really is beneath the surface, why i...

This week, I read a letter from a listener who’s been no contact with her mother for two years - but still feels like she’s living with her shadow. Every bark of the dog, every knock at the door, sends her body into high alert. Even something as simple as checking the mailbox feels dangerous.  Myself and Dr. Ruth Callaghan will explore what it’s like when no contact doesn’t bring peace, and how ou...

Question - "I'm never going to find her easy but how do I regulate after exposure to her?" In this episode, we hear from a listener - an only child - who has spent a lifetime navigating exhaustion, guilt, and confusion in her relationship with her aging mother. Her mother calls her “my everything,” professes deep love, yet never asks about her life or family. Instead, she elicits pr...

This week, we read a powerful letter from a listener whoasks myself and Dr. Ruth Callaghan the question: "How do I decide whether or not to go no contact? I can't seem to spend time with them that doesn't involve drama ?" The listener describes growing up with a mum who seemed caring on the surface — "never shouting, just nagging, crying and hounding me, until she gets her...

Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse Q "What I’m currently struggling with is this pattern I have where if there is a pause in our physical intimacy due to life stress or other circumstances I feel incredibly afraid and triggered into feeling worthless and think our relationship is doomed." In this deeply moving episode, we explore the lasting impact of childhood trauma on even the healthiest a...

These weeks listener asks these 3 questions Is it unrealistic to expect her to change? How do I get her voice out of my head that I’m in the wrong?  Have others found a way to be in a relationship with a mother with narcissistic tendencies Listen as Ruth & Katie unpack these questions and what they really mean for your healing, your boundaries, and your sense of self. Follow Ruth on TikTok Fol...

How do we learn to parent, or even reparent ourselves, if we never had a model of healthy parenting?  In this week’s episode, we explore three powerful themes: our responsibility as parents, how to navigate our own triggers, and whether it’s really possible to “overlove” a child and risk raising a narcissist.  We also share some of our own fears and struggles, and offer practical, tangible advice...

This week’s listener has worked hard to build a life where she feels confident, loved, and free to be herself. But when she begins to hold her boundaries, her mother shows her true colours and the cracks in the family dynamic become impossible to ignore.  Her enabling father seems to make attempts at connection, but the question remains: How do you confront parents about the pain they’ve caused, w...

Toxic guilt is that heavy, misplaced guilt that convinces us we’ve done something wrong, even when we haven’t. It’s one of the hardest legacies of childhood trauma, and it can follow us into adulthood, shaping how we see ourselves and our relationships. In this episode of Beyond Survival , I read a letter from a listener who grew up in a large Irish family that looked perfect from the outside but...

In series 2 of Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast , I’m joined by Dr. Ruth Callaghan where we explore two powerful listener questions. First, how can you be a better parent when you’ve grown up as a “fawn type” people-pleaser, and why do your underlying motivations matter so much?  Then, we dive into the challenge of managing intrusive, compulsive thoughts - the constant urge to help, fix, or r...

This week I’m joined by Maggie Nick, a recovering burned-out overachiever, people-pleaser, perfectionist, pushover, and shape-shifting chameleon, what she calls a Recovering Good Kid.   Now a trauma therapist, parenting expert, and cycle-breaking mother, Maggie knows firsthand what it’s like to grow up as “the one nobody ever needed to worry about.” For years, she thought her perfectionism and peo...

When you grow up in a dysfunctional family system, you are conditioned to silence your needs to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or gain approval. Over time, it can feel impossible to even recognise what you truly want or need. In this solo episode, I discuss how that conditioning takes root, how to start recognising the needs you’ve been taught to ignore, and how to meet them in ways that feel saf...

In this solo episode, I explore the relentless whispers of the inner critic - that constant, internal voice that undermines, judges, and shames. I delve into where it comes from, how it develops (especially in childhood), and what function it might have served. Most importantly, I share practical ways to challenge, quiet, and reduce its power so you can start relating to yourself with more compass...

The Cult of Family explores the reality of growing up in a narcissistic system that demands silence, obedience, and self-erasure. In this episode, I sit down with Daniella, a scholar of cults, extreme groups and extremely bad leadership, who also brings her own lived experience of being raised in a cult. Together, we unpack the unsettling parallels between cults and narcissistic families; the cont...