WHEN DATING HURTS

This is part one of a two-part story from Sarah, who lives in Australia. Sarah and her siblings grew up in New Zealand under the tyrannical reign of a merciless stepfather. This man ruled their home with an iron fist that was directed mostly at Sarah's mother. For ten years, they needed to be on guard from his abusive behavior. Her mother bore the brunt of his emotional and physical abuse. It was...

This is part three of a three-part story. Julia is an Argentinian woman. As a child, she dreamt of coming to the US to further her education and experience all she had seen on TV and read in books. Her path was to become a hard-working au pair as a way to financially make ends meet. She also loved children of all ages. For a while, everything fell into place. She tried dating sites and met America...

This is part two of a three-part story. Julia is an Argentinian woman. As a child, she dreamt of coming to the US to further her education and experience all she had seen on TV and read in books. Her path was to become a hard-working au pair as a way to financially make ends meet. She also loved children of all ages. For a while, everything fell into place. She tried dating sites and met American...

This is part one of a three-part story. Julia is an Argentinian woman. As a child, she dreamt of coming to the US to further her education and experience all she had seen on TV and read in books. Her path was to become a hard-working au pair as a way to financially make ends meet. She also loved children of all ages. For a while, everything fell into place. She tried dating sites and met American...

This is part two of a two-part narrative with Candi Rose. Candi Rose is her actual name. Her full name is Candace Rose. She was bullied in high school to the point where her mother moved her to a different school. There she fell in with the wrong crowd. Things became worse as she made a series of unfortunate decisions. Her lack of experience, wisdom, or good judgment landed her in jail as a convic...

This is part one of a three-part narrative with Candi Rose. Candi Rose is her actual name. Her full name is Candace Rose. She was bullied in high school to the point where her mother moved her to a different school. There she fell in with the wrong crowd. Things became worse as she made a series of unfortunate decisions. Her lack of experience, wisdom, or good judgment landed her in jail as a conv...

I attended a podcast convention earlier this year. I left some leave-behinds and business cards with the hope of landing guests spots on national podcasts. It's another way to get the word out about dating abuse and intimate partner violence. Soon after the convention, I was contacted by Mary Fernandez, the host of the "Leadership, Legacies and Legends Unleashed" podcast. She invited me to speak o...

There is little chance we will ever get an abuser to join us on this podcast and do a recorded interview. But, we have heard enough about the minds of abusers to have insights into what we would hear. It would be the justification of actions taken purely to gain control over another person. It would be a relentless pushback. That is what you will find in this episode. This episode, our third in th...

I was invited to join in an interview with True Crime Connections podcast host, Tiffanie. This was the perfect venue to continue our review of life-saving information like my latest list of warning signs. Only in the past year have I uncovered some new ones worth hearing about. I also shared what I call the "Template Every Abuser Follows". These are important areas to know since intimate partner v...

The following story comes with trigger warnings due to both its content and graphic descriptions. This is part one of a two-part story. Beany Chalfant brought her story to me in an email. I knew she needed to tell her narrative to us. By the time she reached 40, she had never been close to intimate partner violence. But all of that changed with one boyfriend. In the beginning, he seemed to bring e...

The following story comes with trigger warnings due to both its content and graphic descriptions. This is part one of a two-part story. Beany Chalfant brought her story to me in an email. I knew she needed to tell her narrative to us. By the time she reached 40, she had never been close to intimate partner violence. But all of that changed with one boyfriend. In the beginning, he seemed to bring e...

This is part two of a two-part story with Claire. It comes with trigger warnings for its content and graphic descriptions. I was sent a link with a news segment from the West Coast. The newscasters were showing body cam footage of an intimate partner violence case that would later head into court. The footage was eerie to watch. It puts you right there outside of the building watching a man deny k...

This is part one of a two-part story with Claire. It comes with trigger warnings for its content and graphic descriptions. I was sent a link with a news segment from the West Coast. The newscasters were showing body cam footage of an intimate partner violence case that would later head into court. The footage was eerie to watch. It puts you right there outside of the building watching a man deny k...

This is part two of Cynthia’s two-part story of survival. It comes with trigger warnings due to its content and some descriptions. You will feel her innocence throughout. She is a trusting soul and sometimes it has gotten her into places that are impossible to escape. Trouble often seemed to follow. Cynthia is not perfect. She has made mistakes. But it seems most of her mistakes have cost her dear...

I was asked by Dan Woerheide to join him on his Narrowing the Divide podcast. This podcast series is actually Dan working as a career coach, but he feels everyone working needs to know more about dating abuse and domestic violence. It will eventually touch every life. I appreciate Dan for inviting me to speak on his show. It's a new audience for me to tell what I know about domestic violence. We c...

This is part one of Cynthia’s two-part story of survival. It comes with trigger warnings due to its content and some descriptions. You will feel her innocence throughout. She is a trusting soul and sometimes it has gotten her into places that are impossible to escape. Trouble often seemed to follow. Cynthia is not perfect. She has made mistakes. But it seems most of her mistakes have cost her dear...

This is part two of a two-part story. It comes with trigger warnings due to its content and descriptions. Alexandra story begins in Australia, where she was born and where we meet up with Michael. He was an artist and a narcissistic abuser. The kind of a guy we lie awake at night hoping our daughters never meet up with or date. The story takes us from Australia to Vienna, Austria and then to Polan...

This is part one of a two-part story. It comes with trigger warnings due to its content and descriptions. Alexandra story begins in Australia, where she was born and where we meet up with Michael. He was an artist and a narcissistic abuser. The kind of a guy we lie awake at night hoping our daughters never meet up with or date. The story takes us from Australia to Vienna, Austria and then to Polan...

This is part two of a two-part story. Deborah’s story takes us to places many of us have never been before. She spent time in the US Navy and then the US Army. We go to Virginia, California, Kentucky, and even Afghanistan before her return to the US. Before heading into Afghanistan with the US Army, Deborah meets Scott, who does a brilliant portrayal of being everyone’s best buddy while winning ov...

This is part one of a two-part story. Deborah’s story takes us to places many of us have never been before. She spent time in the US Navy and then the US Army. We go to Virginia, California, Kentucky, and even Afghanistan before her return to the US. Before heading into Afghanistan with the US Army, Deborah meets Scott, who does a brilliant portrayal of being everyone’s best buddy while winning ov...

Every survivor story comes with reasons to listen carefully and learn the many facets of dating and domestic violence. This story is certainly no exception. For those of you thinking domestic violence doesn’t happen to people like you, Jamie’s narrative stands as evidence to the contrary. She was a college graduate. A law school graduate. And then a prosecutor in a district attorney’s office near...

Every survivor story comes with reasons to listen carefully and learn the many facets of dating and domestic violence. This story is certainly no exception. For those of you thinking domestic violence doesn’t happen to people like you, Jamie’s narrative stands as evidence to the contrary. She was a college graduate. A law school graduate. And then a prosecutor in a district attorney’s office near...

I met "Caitlyn" in November 2009 moments before I gave a speech about my daughter's dating violence murder.  What Caitlyn described about her abuse was the most horrific story I had ever heard -- short of murder. It continues to disturb me even now.  I was fortunate to conduct this interview with Caitlyn. Her story shows how bad domestic violence can get, but also demonstrates how strong a determi...

This the final part in a three-part story. Sarah’s story of abuse starts off a bit slow but then it really gets rolling. It covers many of the warning signs (red flags) of what became an unhealthy relationship, and later, and awkward, disrespectful, one-sided, abusive marriage. Plus, there were children involved. Sarah somehow managed to stay true to herself. She never became as awful as the behav...

This is part two in a three-part story. Sarah’s story of abuse starts off a bit slow but then it really gets rolling. It covers many of the warning signs (red flags) of what became an unhealthy relationship, and later, and awkward, disrespectful, one-sided, abusive marriage. Plus, there were children involved. Sarah somehow managed to stay true to herself. She never became as awful as the behavior...