WHEN DATING HURTS

This podcast exists because of my daughter Kristin. She was 21 years old when her ex-boyfriend stabbed her to death. She had already ended the relationship. She thought she would be free. She was not. Today's episode is for the person who is still deciding whether to leave. It is also for the person who already left and is still haunted by the question: did I do the right thing. We are talking abo...

This story comes with warnings. If this episode becomes too intense, stop and do what is best for you. Patricia Gordon Stevens knows what it is like o leave an abusive marital relationship. What she wants people to understand is that leaving is not necessarily the end of the abuse, or the end of the fear. After leaving her own abusive marriage, Patricia experienced the psychological aftermath that...

This is a blend of survivor-centered education, psychology, and clear red-flag guidance. And it's all grounded in research. We call this: Loss of Self Esteem - How Abuse Steals Who You Are. This is not an interview with a survivor. It is not red flags wrapped into a story. This is about the red flags you need to know so you will never be fooled by someone trying to use digital technology to contro...

This story comes with warnings. There are descriptions of cruel violence, coercive control, high-conflict co-parenting, family court appearances, financial abuse, and trauma bonding. These can be triggering for some listeners. If this episode becomes too intense, stop and do what is best for you. This is part two of a two-part story. Jocelyn is a mother, make-up artist, and domestic violence survi...

This story comes with warnings. There are descriptions of cruel violence, coercive control, high-conflict co-parenting, family court appearances, financial abuse, and trauma bonding. These can be triggering for some listeners. If this episode becomes too intense, stop and do what is best for you. This is part one of a two-part story. Jocelyn is a mother, make-up artist, and domestic violence survi...

This is a blend of survivor-centered education, psychology, and clear red-flag guidance. And it's all grounded in research. We call this: Baby Trapping - When a Pregnancy is Used as a Leash. This is not an interview with a survivor. It is not red flags wrapped into a story. This is about the red flags you need to know so you will never be fooled by someone trying to use digital technology to contr...

This story comes with many warnings. There are descriptions of cruel violence, addiction, crimes and incarceration, trauma bonding, and abandonment. These can be triggering for some. If listening to this episode becomes too intense, stop and do what is best for you. This is part two of a two-part story. Sunshine Faye (not her real name) is a survivor. In her story, she never pretends to be a saint...

This story comes with many warnings. There are descriptions of cruel violence, addiction, crimes and incarceration, trauma bonding, and abandonment. These can be triggering for some. If listening to this episode becomes too intense, stop and do what is best for you. Sunshine Faye (not her real name) is a survivor. In her story, she never pretends to be a saint. She puts on full display her mistake...

This is a blend of survivor-centered education, psychology, and clear red-flag guidance. And it's all grounded in research. We call this: Mirroring - The Narcissist's Deadliest Trap. This is not an interview with a survivor. It is not red flags wrapped into a story. This is about the red flags you need to know so you will never be fooled by someone trying to use digital technology to control and s...

This story comes with many warnings. There are descriptions of cruel violence, rape, addiction, crimes and incarceration, trauma bonding, and abandonment. If listening to this episode becomes too intense, stop and do what is best for you. Lisa Ortiz is an author and the founder of a nonprofit foundation. These are recent developments. In this story, you will hear how she rarely caught a break in l...

This is a blend of survivor-centered education, psychology, and clear red-flag guidance. And it's all grounded in research. We call this: Safety Planning and Strategies. This is not an interview with a survivor. It is not red flags wrapped into a story. This is about the red flags you need to know so you will never be fooled by someone trying to use digital technology to control and stalk you in a...

This story comes with many warnings. There are descriptions of cruel violence, rape, and trauma bonding. If listening to this episode becomes too intense, stop and do what is best for you. This is part two of a two-part interview. Rebecca Lazzelle is a domestic violence survivor. She is also an author and healer. When Rebecca contacted me, she said her experience shows the kind of emotional abuse...

This story comes with many warnings. There are descriptions of cruel violence, rape, and trauma bonding. If listening to this episode becomes too intense, stop and do what is best for you. This is part one of a two-part interview. Rebecca Lazzelle is a domestic violence survivor. She is also an author and healer. When Rebecca contacted me, she said her experience shows the kind of emotional abuse...

This is a blend of survivor-centered education, psychology, and clear red-flag guidance. And it's all grounded in research. We call this: Spyware - Detection and Removal. This is not an interview with a survivor. It is not red flags wrapped into a story. This is about the red flags you need to know so you will never be fooled by someone trying to use digital technology to control and stalk you in...

This is part two of a two-part story with Katie. Be sure you are ready to hear this story. As it proceeds, you will be hearing about horribly abusive physical violence and actual torture... Trigger warnings need to be expressed due to both the content and graphic descriptions. If this story is too intense for you, please stop listening and take care of yourself. Katie's Story When Katie met Mark,...

This is part one of a two-part story with Katie. Be sure you are ready to hear this story. As it proceeds, you will be hearing about horribly abusive physical violence and actual torture... Trigger warnings need to be expressed due to both the content and graphic descriptions. If this story is too intense for you, please stop listening and take care of yourself. Katie's Story When Katie met Mark,...

This is a blend of survivor-centered education, psychology, and clear red-flag guidance. And it's all grounded in research. We call this: Gaslighting and Psychological Manipulation. This is not an interview with a survivor. It is not red flags wrapped into a story. This is about the red flags you need to know so you will never be fooled by someone trying to use digital technology to control and st...

I met Jen Lee six years ago when she and I launched separate podcasts at around the same time. Both podcasts are heavily aimed at identifying and supporting survivors. Jen and I share podcast tips and have remained professional friends ever since. Residing in Virginia, her first marriage ended amicably (really). She wanted a relationship that matched her energy and zest for life. While having an a...

This is a blend of survivor-centered education, psychology, and clear red-flag guidance. And it's all grounded in research. We call this: Dynamics that Make Coercive Control Effective and Difficult to Escape. This is not an interview with a survivor. It is not red flags wrapped into a story. This is about the red flags you need to know so you will never be fooled by someone trying to use digital t...

We want you to hear from the mind of an abuser once more... This episode, our eighth in this "Mind of the Abuser" series, comes with content and trigger warnings: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, language, and graphic violence. We have heard enough about the minds and justifications of abusers to have insights into what we would probably hear. It would sound like the excuses for actions taken on...

This is a blend of survivor-centered education, psychology, and clear red-flag guidance. And it's all grounded in research. We call this: Isolation - Your Partner Wants You Away from Your Support Network This is not an interview with a survivor. It is not red flags wrapped into a story. This is about the red flags you need to know so you will never be fooled by someone trying to use digital techno...

Content Warning & Disclaimer Please proceed with caution. This episode may be triggering for survivors of abuse and trauma. There is a description of a rape. There is drug usage and both knife and gun violence. There is both emotional and verbal abuse. There is physical violence and the use of adult language. Listener discretion is strongly advised. This is part two of a two-part story with Emily....

Content Warning & Disclaimer Please proceed with caution. This episode may be triggering for survivors of abuse and trauma. There is a description of a rape. There is drug usage and both knife and gun violence. There is both emotional and verbal abuse. There is physical violence and the use of adult language. Listener discretion is strongly advised. This is part one of a two-part story with Emily....

This is a blend of survivor-centered education, psychology, and clear red-flag guidance. And it's all grounded in research. We call this: Stonewalling - When Communication is Controlled by Your Abuser. This is not an interview with a survivor. It is not red flags wrapped into a story. This is about the red flags you need to know so you will never be fooled by someone trying to use digital technolo...

Content Warning & Disclaimer Please proceed with caution. This episode may be highly triggering for survivors of abuse and trauma. Listener discretion is strongly advised. Shael Norris is the executive director of SafeBAE, a youth-led nonprofit dedicated to stopping sexual violence before it starts. Their focus is on middle and high school students. The mission of SafeBAE is to empower students to...