Trader Hoes

Things heat up this week when we (kinda) cook some new Trader Joe’s frozen items. But just like Cher, these are anything but one-hit-wonders. Talk about versatility! Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Trader Joe’s best season, Evie’s watch tan, and Katie’s relationship with potatoes.  🛒 In the cart:  Cheese empanadas with Cassava Crust  Loaded Potatoes  Eggwich Breadless Breakfast Sand...

The Hoes take a hit to the taste buds with some of Trader Joe's spiciest selections. It's an eye-watering, sweat-inducing, nostril-flaring foray into some of Joe's more formidable new items.  Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: smoked meats, mascara and Evie's marine grandma.  In the Cart: Crispy Thai Chilies & Sesame Seeds Jalapeño Monterey Jack Cheese Beemster Hatch Pepper Gouda  S...

What happens when you mix two parts Trader Hoes, one part Aaron Carter concert, one part ‘80s kids’ show and a dash of some unknown accent? Oh, just a cocktail episode! You’ve been asking for it, so we finally dug out our mixologist skills (or lack thereof) and tried out some easy, poolside-perfect mixed drinks. Let’s just say it was all a “duck blur.”  🛒 In the cart:  Espolón Tequila Blanco  Tit...

Once again, it’s time to see which champion will win the gold. No, we’re not talking about the Olympics. We’re talking another Trader Joe’s Snack Down. This time, we’re pitting M&M’s against TJ’s candy-coated competitors, and things get sticky. We also peruse the M&M’s dating profiles, get to the very well-researched bottom of the connection between chocolate and hugs, and share some very...

The Hoes have a few questions when testing out Trader Joe's newest feature items. Citrus dessert popcorn? Get out of here. Chocolate covered rice cakes? What is this? 1992?  But maybe Joe's onto something with his most recent elote seasoned special... Not on the bizarre menu but certainly on our minds: the zombie apocalypse, Sha'Carri Richardson and childhood cereals.  In the Cart: Key Lime Kettle...

We know Ben and J-Lo have been making headlines lately, but we’ve got the true couple of the summer in these new items, Hoes. These crackers and cheese might be an unlikely pair, but they won’t be the most surprising reveal of the episode. Promise. Because we’re channeling Dora The Explorer, heading to Crack City to boost some babes, naming our future pets, and introducing time travel chic fashion...

The Hoes plant themselves firmly in herbivore territory with Trader Joe’s new vegan options. Between the pea-based “pork” rinds, the beef-free bolognese and the chicken-free masala salad, it’s a meatless menu full of unexpected flavors. Not on the table but certainly on our minds: chicharrones, Popeye and our newest franchise, Tater Joe’s.  In the Cart: Vegan Pasta Bolognese Vegan Chickpea Masala...

Hoes, what’s your go-to ice cream order this summer? Ours? Oh, it’s just a triple scoop of new TJ’s treats, a drizzle of Welcome to Your Fantasy , some crumbles savory scone from The Dinersaur , the crushed dream of a Trader Joe’s convention and just a pinch of subtle farts to top it off. Get those spoons ready!  🛒 In the cart:  Cold Brew Coffee and Boba Coconut Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert  Vegan Co...

The Hoes are hitting up the newest items in Trader Joe's cheese section and boy has he made some choices. Toss in some new crackers and BYOW because we're about to get into some charfoolerie (charcuterie + foolery - come on, guys). Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: the beauty of the grading curve, Instagram-worthy boards and sleepy time cheese. In the Cart: - Creamy Toscano Soaked in Ros...

Unlike some of these items, we’re not sugar-coating anything this week, Hoes. We’re treating ourselves to some sweet new goodies from Trader Joe’s and let’s just say things get eirdway. Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: Popular tubers, the ending of the Chippendales tangent Evie took us on, podcast club meetings and how much TJ’s crew members are allowed to shit talk new items.  🛒 In th...

The Hoes are hitting up some of Trader Joe’s newest items and it’s only going to get crazier from here because Joe is vaxxed, waxed and ready bombard you with a whole slew of never-before-seen seasonal products. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Trader Joe’s bathrooms, the likability of turtles, and secret TJ crew listeners.  In the Cart: Crispy Crunchy Crisps Crispy Jalapeño Pieces Ta...

The Hoes get down and dairy with Trader Joe’s newest frozen deserts. Will they melt for Joe’s newest seasonal pint or give the cold shoulder to his latest Hold the Cone creation? Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: TJs pickup lines, the divisiveness of peaches and bottled bong water.  In the Cart: Southern Peach Crisp Ice Cream Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert Chocolate Fudge Oat Bars Mini Hold...

This week, we're getting schooled with a child-like charcuterie spread that kindergarteners could only dream of. Plus, Evie learns that all of her childhood may have been a lie, Katie learns that Evie may have been holding out on her with the best dip of them all, and they both learn that not all gummies are grade A.  Big shoutout to our Hoes who wrote in with questions that we answer throughout t...

Welcome to the Trader Hoes remix. Did we change up the way we do this episode? Not at all. Did we give you a preview of our rapping skills? Unfortunately, yes. Get ready for the song of the summer and your new snacks of the summer with these peanut butter and chocolate duets. We’re also blowing minds with some Girl Scout Cookie delivery knowledge, Regina George comparisons and possibly our newest...

Pickle popcorn may not be back but a new sister item is hot on the scene (and you know the Hoes are here for it). From nuggets to chips, pickles to pretzels, Trader Joe's newest snack items are making one salty showdown.  Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: 90 Day Fiancé, a floral arrangement followup and a Pride and Prejudice take on past TJs items.  In the Cart: Chips in a Pickle  Onio...

We’re getting personal this week, Hoes, with a little walk down memory (or mammary) lane. What can we say? These vegan dips just brought us back and brought some surprises. Channel your inner child with us as we carry our breadsticks like fancy cigarettes, recount some of Evie’s favorite family recipes and question what meat (if any) was really in Chef Boyardee.  🛒 In the cart: Vegan Bolognese-St...

The Hoes kicks back with some keto -conscious snacks courtesy of Trade Joe's. Giddyup for a cheese bite bonanza featuring tomato, truffle and semi-aged perfection. Not in these resealable bags but certainly on our minds: wine (duh), Fifth Element throwbacks and a Trader Hoes floral arrangement workshop lead by yours truly - whaaat?? In the cart: Oven-Baked Cheese Bites Oven-Baked Cheese Bites with...

The stars aligned this week, Hoes. This Cancer and Taurus are going on a journey from Vermont to the elementary lunchroom and bringing TJ’s, Harry Potter, astrology and plenty of surprises along the way. We’ll be dancing like the Champignon girls we are and possibly learning Japanese from Katie’s husband. Just one question remains: Which really is the spiciest zodiac?  🛒In the cart:  Organic Toas...

No prep? No problem, because the Hoes are showcasing their thaw talents with Trader Joe’s frozen deserts. From New York style O.G. cheesecake to finger cake confections, this episode is serving layer upon layer of glucose-infused gluttony. Not in our cart but certainly on our minds: The Spice Girls, big sugar and bush honey (yeah, you read that right).  In the Cart: New York Deli Style Baked Chees...

We’re going to need you to channel SNL's city correspondent Stefon, Hoes, because this episode’s got everything: Slugging, Enneagrams, our first bi-coastal cheese exchange and the hosts of Self-Control & Cheese, Sara Pion and Bridget Poetker. We introduce these fromage fanatics to some classics, and they introduce us to some new staples all while asking the really important questions. Has anyo...

The Hoes spice up their lives with the help of Trader Joe’s seasonings — and a few dozen fries. Change your flavor profile to “it’s complicated” because we’re shaking things up with savory blends that bend space and thyme. Not on the plate but certainly on our minds: Trader Joe’s pet shop potential (Trader Joe Exotic???), Evie’s plan to prank her fiancé, and Katie’s questionable take on seafood. ...

Hoes, it is a big week. Grab your diaries, because you’re going to want to take note of this. Katie tries Cookie Butter for the first time. How did she go this long without it? We don’t know. How did we so horribly misjudge the Banana Fruit Spread? We don’t know. How did Evie end up sounding like a 911 caller in a true crime documentary? We don’t know. Why does Katie smell like chicken noodle soup...

This episode’s theme is strung together about as well as we’re keeping it “togedder.” So, just go with it when we say we’re trying some nut items this week. We’re also following up on the definition of “yeet,” asking for TJ’s to step it up for Mother’s Day and may be giving “Trader Hoes” a whole new meaning.  🛒 In the cart:  Roasted Garlic & Pesto Pizza with Deep Fried Crust Crispy Peanut But...

This week, we’re getting saucy, Hoes. And no, we’re not just talking about Katie’s beer shower. (Not shower beer. Beer shower.) We’re slurping up Trader Joe’s new Thai Noodle bowls, and they vary as much as Evie’s preference for coconuts. We also go over why it “must be hard being a pretty girl in LA,” who is the Mariah Carey of this podcast and why email is so hard.  🛒 In the cart:  Peanut Satay...

If you're looking for the Trader Hoes featured in Refinery29, you've come to the right place. And this week, Hoes, we're getting saucy with some new Trader Joe's products. We're also dissecting the various flavors of compliment sandwiches, the strange anatomy of '90s salads and what the heck meat sprinkles are.  🛒 In the cart: Breaded Fried Ravioli Bolognese Style Tomato & Beef Pasta Sauce Ca...